A pre-dinner bath seemed like a genius idea.
I took the lead while K slaved over the hot stove.
It was all going according to plan... until...
Out of nowhere, The Rooster stood up in the tub and, suddenly hysterical, began repeatedly yelling,
"I WANT SPAGHETTI RIGHT NOW!"She choked on her great big sobs between each berserk outburst.
I helped her out of the tub and into her pajamas.
"Go tell your Daddy that you're hungry," I told her.She went careening towards the kitchen.
"I WANT SPAGHETTI RIGHT NOW!" she screamed at him.
"Dinner's almost ready, Roo. But we're not having spaghetti tonight," he said.I swear I heard the paint peel from the kitchen walls in response to the high decibel shriek she emitted.
"SPAGHETTI!!!!!"She flung herself to the floor and lost her little mind.
Still tub side with The Mayor, I stifled my laughter.
"Uh... I could use a little help in here," K called to me.
"I'm still washing The Mayor," I yelled back.Meanwhile, The Rooster beat all four limbs against the kitchen floor while still demanding spaghetti with impassioned fury.
It unwise to let the women of my family get too hungry.
There is a point beyond which it is dangerous to tread.
Years before we were married, I was out on a date with K on a Sunday evening.
It was almost 10:00 p.m. and we hadn't eaten dinner.
Every place we went was closed and I turned into a rabid animal, wild and foaming at the mouth.
[I TOLD him I was hungry!]
A local diner selling a specialty hamburger called The Chubby Decker was the only thing he could find open.
[I sobbed harder. What woman eats a food named "Chubby"?]
By this time I was incensed and overwrought, sobbing in the passenger seat of K's car.
[I am an AWESOME date.]
K swung through the drive through, handed me the bag and took me home.
I remember sitting at the desk in my apartment bedroom while he sat on my bed reading the newspaper.
I could only stop crying when I needed to breathe enough to take another bite of food.
"What are YOU still DOING HERE?" I bawled, screeching at him.[It was all his fault!]
He folded down the corner of the paper and gave me a long, patient look.
"Just because you're hysterical, doesn't mean I have to go anywhere," he saidEventually, with a little food in my belly, I calmed down.
It's not just me though.
When my mother married her second husband, she made her groom vow to avoid the wrath of "Hungry Bonnie" by ensuring that she was fed regularly and on time.
K, a guest at my mom's wedding and a long, suffering life partner of mine turned the heat down on dinner and pulled a plate of food together for The Rooster.
"Here you go," he said. "Eat something, Sweetheart."She only stopped crying long enough to inhale mouthfuls of food.
When I finished drying The Mayor and getting him into his pajamas I joined K in the kitchen.
I met his gaze with an enormous grin on my face.
I raised my eyebrows.
"That's MY daughter, eh?"And this is what K commonly refers to as, "The Joys."
"Oh, The Joys."