Recently, there have been a number of episodes where The Mayor has lost his mind.
Poof! Mind = gone.
Without warning, I have found myself in THE TANTRUM ZONE taken completely by surprise.
In the epicenter of these storms I noticed that The Mayor seemed to want to interrupt his fit and fall into my arms.
I somehow got the impression that the fits were about him craving affection without knowing how to communicate his needs.
The Mayor isn't very effusive in general.
He's a totally affable guy, but he's not much of a cuddler.
Contrarily, any time I ask The Rooster for a hug or a kiss she comes running, happy to deliver.
The Mayor often watches Roo and I giving each other the sloppy love.
I sometimes think he looks wistful in those moments... as if perhaps he would like to have that type of relationship with me, but doesn't know how to negotiate it.
The other night we were lying on his bed at the end a hysterical fit.
He was snuffling through the tail end of his tears.
"Do you ever feel like you want everything to stop and wish Mommy would cover you with hugs and kisses?" I asked.
He nodded, sucking in deep gulps of air.
"Is it sometimes hard for you to figure out how to tell me that is what you want?"
He nodded again.
We lay still for a few minutes.
"What if we had a secret sign?" I asked him.
Curious, he rolled over, out of our spoon, to face me.
"What if we had a hand signal that you could make that would let me know that I needed to stop everything and give you hugs and kisses?"
"I don't know," he grumbled.
He turned away from me again.
A few days later he took me wholly by surprise by saying,
"I thought of a sign, Mama."
He held his hand up with his palm facing his cheek and the back of his hand facing me.
"When I hold my hand like this, it means I want hugs and kisses."
He turned his hand over so his fingers pointed towards the floor.
"When I flip it over like this, it means I want you to stop."
"I like it," I said. "Let's use that!"
He practiced turning my affection on and off at different speeds and felt well-satisfied with himself and his control over my behavior.
He's been using the sign ever since. Not much, but some.
I think it makes him feel secure just knowing the sign exists.
I am on the look out, ready to respond whenever I see it.