After a hellish experience with Airtran Airlines, The Family Joy has mercifully escaped what seemed like certain death-by-airline and returned from 12 days in New York.
We arrived, thanks to Airtran, eighteen hours after our anticipated landing and, within two hours of our New York arrival, K rushed The Rooster to the ER for the hot glue gun to the forehead treatment.
Yesterday, we spent HOURS on the tarmac and during that time we were able to entertain our children well.
The Rooster screamed,
"BLANKIE!!! I WANT MY BLANKIE!!!"the entire time we were actually flying.
At the end of the flight, a well manicured, high-glossed woman turned to me and, pointing a bony finger at Rooster, said,
"She's clearly not ready for your European vacation."
I turned my head away and said nothing because, though I tend to steer away from using THE C WORD, I was very sorely tempted to use it.
It's simple Brady Bunch Wisdom, Lady.
If you don't have anything nice to say...
Shut yer effing pie hole.
[That's what Mr. Brady always said, right?]
Despite the horrifying bookends that were the start and end of the trip, the middle was very good.
Every other year, my mother-in-law treats us all to a family reunion at Silver Bay on Lake George in the Adirondacks.
Never mind that northern New York is having one of the wettest summers in history...
With oodles of Aunts, Uncles and, more importantly, cousins around...
The rain wasn't really an issue.
There were boat rides to be taken...
(Aunt Sheila took it very seriously.)
Shuffleboard to be... shuffled...
We were required to wrestle our relatives...
(This was not her first attack.)
Ice cream to be eaten...
And flower beds to be trampled...
But now we are home.
And can you guess the first thing I did?
I stood in a nest of fire ants!
[INVOKE THE C WORD REPEATEDLY!!!]
[SPRINKLE IN ADDITIONAL CHOICE EXPLETIVES!!!]
The effing joys, I tell you!