Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Things Fall Apart

I am having a hard time finding the thread of my own story lately.

Every day requires the complex navigation of set after set of high-speed, racing curves while driving a clunky station wagon built in the early 1970’s.

Every minute of my life is so full of responsibilities and obligations that they crash into each other like a massive highway pile up.

Tasks that I should attend to lay on their backs by the road side like over-turned bugs kicking their legs and refusing to die. As I go careening past them, they seem to call after me,


“You still have to do this, you moron!”

At work, a situation has arisen that I can only liken metaphorically to an oil spill of Exxon Valdez-like proportions.

Though I didn’t contribute to the creation of the mess, I find myself employed, day after day, for far longer hours that I usually work, wiping thick black goo from the individual feathers of once beautiful waterfowl armed only with a cocktail napkin.

[Oh, how effective and useful I feel!]

Every day at 4:30, I leave the flock of greasy, dejected birds to race to my own personal mom-a-thon and related duties, the foremost of which is the one where I endlessly repeat,

“Stop fighting with your (sister/brother).”
Yesterday evening, the kids and I careened through the farmer’s market trying not to hit the other patrons with our cart.

I didn’t have an actual grocery list because that would mean that I had time to think about groceries in advance.

I tried to think on my feet about what I might feed my family this week and simultaneously attempted to keep my two children from colliding head long into piles of produce.

I rounded the corner into an aisle full of melons when The Mayor, from way down the aisle, shouted,

“MOMMY, I KNOW BOYS DON’T GROW BOOBIES, BUT DO THEY GET KIPPLES? DO I HAVE KIPPLES? WHAT ARE KIPPLES?”
When the kids finally passed out in their little beds (or rather on the floor NEAR the bed in Rooster’s case), I returned to the endless bird cleaning and remained there long into the night until finally I couldn’t see straight.

These are my days.

Consequently, finding the space in my head to capture my usual blog-story-a-day has, like so many other things, fallen on its back as one of the overturned insects by the side of the road.

My blog waves its little insect legs at me each morning and I blow by it wistfully feeling like I'm being pinched in the kipples.

57 comments:

Patience said...

Dang! You make me tired!

Kipples!! Hahahahaha!!

furiousBall said...

the guy in the cube next to me never wears an undershirt and i can see his kipples everyday.

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I'm sorry you are having a rough week. I totally relate to the "Stop fighting" thing. Not a very Zen like mantra. Sigh...

Here's to pinch free kipples!

Maggie said...

kipple pinches are the worst!

there should be annual mom olympics in which we have grocery cart race courses, meal slams, laundry-a-thons and scheduling for accuracy contests. Here's the kicker, the olympics would be 10 times more fun because we'd all be downing our favorite spiked drinks and there would be no kids or oil spills to worry about for that day.

Lisa Milton said...

But you come out swinging - pitch perfect post I think a lot of us can relate to. (The imagery - overturned bugs & oily birds - is powerful.)

Take care, Mrs. Joys. May you & your kipples find some rest.

Pgoodness said...

I was starting to wonder if you were ok. Now I know not so much. Hang in there.

Little Monkies said...

I sat on the floor last night making a paper mache pinata for Monkey's birthday. At first I was annoyed at another task, and then I realized how much I LOVED sitting and doing nothing but being a bit creative for a moment on something unrelated to work.

As for the oil spill, I don't know what it's about, but I am glad you are there. I know the beautiful birds that work where you work and I would hate to have anything happen to them. Exquisite, they are.

Kipples. It sounds like something a way off parent would name their kid trying to be perky.

I'm tired for you. I wish you could go make a collage. Love you.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Hey, those little birds need you more right now than we do (although I know I miss reading you!). Take your time and get through this (kipples is adorable, btw).

WILLIAM said...

I think it is kind of funny that the kids started talking about kipples and boobies in the melon aisle.

Sayre said...

Luckily, eventually things will fall back into place. I can relate - between feeling awful and surgery, then recovery, my blog posting has become sparse as well.

Hang in there.

mimikatemom said...

Ebb and flow, friend. Like the waves and the wind. Hang in there.
E

Holly said...

Yikes! Hang in there, and good luck with the oil spill.

SUEB0B said...

I hope that someday you will look back and it will all seem funny.

zellmer said...

I'm always amazed that any of us keep up blogs with all the child raising and working that we have to juggle. And with our Mommy brains, nonetheless. If it makes you feel any better, I thought this was a wonderful post. I'm sure we can all relate to this feeling that you painted for us so beautifully.

Grim Reality Girl said...

Yes, sometimes it feels like a working mom's kipples are being twisted... (((((Hugs)))) May your kipples be free from torture, may the grocery shopping always be done by your husband, may the work oil spill get international aid to support the clean up, and may you have more time to enjoy the joy. This too shall pass --- though I think the angst might just be an epidemic because I COMPLETELY relate!

David said...

I'm not a parent so I can't fully appreciate your life. However I do think grocery lists are highly over-rated. As a guy, I resort to the "hunt & gather" mentality of shopping - walk all the aisles to see if my grey matter conjures up enough need or want to take something off the shelf and place it in the basket. Plus it's good exercise. When the basket is full, or I've walked the entire store, I'm done. Checkout time. As for kipples, yep - I got mine.

yummysushipajamas said...

Poor little insect blog legs! I hope things get a little easier in the next couple of RIGHT NOW.

Internet hugs!

flutter said...

Doesn't life know that you are about to embark on a kipple pinching expedition in SF? That you will be experiencing KMD? kipples of mass destruction?

mamatulip said...

I've been thinking about you; I've sensed for a little while now that you've got a lot on your plate. Like all things, this too shall pass, but I hope it passes quickly.

jen said...

oh sister, this too shall pass. it just doesn't seem like it in the moment.

i can't wait to see you next week.

Loralee Choate said...

If I ever have fraternal twins I want their nicknames to be Kipples and Bits. ;)

Seriously, though...it sounds like your plate is very, very full. I hope it gets cleaned off SOON.

mothergoosemouse said...

I'm so sorry. Cocktail napkins are better than Q-tips though.

Kipples and herring. Mmmm.

Maddy said...

Ah I see you know the true joy of summer holidays then!
Cheers

Omaha Mama said...

Aw man. I thought you were at the beach or something. Sucks.
Well ~ I hope that it all turns 'round soon and you'll find yourself at that beach. Or on the floor near Roo's bed. Whichever comes first.

carrie said...

It's okay - it'll wait. You do what you have to do Jess.

LSM said...

I was just thinking this morning that it had been several days since I'd seen a post from you. I was hoping you were on vacation!

I'm sorry to hear that work is so stressful right now. I think it's even harder when those times fall during the summer.

Hang in there. We'll all still be here when your blog rights itself and crawls off the highway. :)

Mama Goose said...

We're here cheering to you from the sidelines. Hope the muck dissipates soon.

GoteeMan said...

ok, where did you put that damned hidden camera? I know it's here somewhere...

and reading this I had a flashback from high school - specifically "purple nerples"... I hear that Udder Cream works wonders...

anyways, hoping and praying your week is more peaceful, less stressful and more fun...

thanks for brightening mine...

J/

Mel said...

You poor thing. Here's a hug:

(((((((((((((You)))))))))))))

I'm sure life will slow down eventually, and when it does, I will still be here, waiting to read your blog-story-a-day.

Damselfly said...

Sending hugs....

Thank goodness for kipple moments in the sea of oil-slicked waterfowl.

Backpacking Dad said...

You've clearly been missed. But you oughtn't feel guilty.

Stimey said...

That's tough. I'm sorry. We're still here, patiently twiddling our thumbs and waiting. Take your time. We all have those days/weeks/months.

Magpie said...

i am feeling similarly pinched in the kipples...

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Oh, how I love you even when you are super busy, kipples and all.

This too shall pass. In the meantime, I'll be waiting for you and your high-larious stories on a more regular basis.

Carey said...

Wow, that sounds like my life, 2 weeks ago...

Hope things get back to normal for you at work...there is nothing like one oil spill that throws everything else off!

My daughter calls her kipples, moles. I don't know which is worse! LOL

Janet said...

This feels familiar, friend. Kipple-achingly familiar.

Tranny Head said...

Kipples are hawt.

Also - I took my kid to the pediatrician a few weeks ago and there was some woman in the waiting room with her son (he was maybe 4) . . . she was trying to convince him to go to the bathroom before going to his brother's baseball game. Anyway, the 4 year old says, "NO WAY - I can totally just pee on the field if I have to."

It was hilarious - and the mother was mortified which made it even better.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I've been wonderin' where you've been lady! You sound like you've got way too much on your hands!!

I hope things slow down for you.

P.S. Kipples...that is hilarious!

jakelliesmom said...

Oh dear one, I hear you and some days, I also am you.

My days seem to feel the burden of many elbows to the kipples as well.

Kelley said...

I am hoping this is not long term, not just because I miss your madness but because a chick can only do that much for so long before she becomes that mad woman flinging vegetables at the neighbourhood children for just being.

Hope things slow down enough for you to take a breath and relax.

Oh and entertain me. Yeah, cause everything is always about me.

ModernMami said...

I know exactly how you feel and how funny, I too get off work at 4:30 :) We'll find a way, I guess, huh?

BOSSY said...

Well, Bossy and the others will still be the hitchhikers that stand by the side of the road, waiting for the appearance of your car careening around the sharp turn.

See how Bossy did that? Incorporated your car analogy?

Now... how to incorporate Kipples...

Jen M. said...

Yeah, my kipples are in a wringer these days. Keep on keepin on, sister.

Maureen said...

Ouch. Pinched kipples hurt.

Hope things settle down for you real soon...

The Medium Swede said...

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time lately. We too have been overwhelmed by life for the past year. I have pared our lives down to the most basic necessities. I hope things get better quickly -- for both you and me.

The Joys of My Boys said...

Thanks for such a real post! The whole life balance thing is so messy and irritating sometimes.

My 4-year-old son told me yesterday that his uterus hurt. We had the why do boys have penises and girls don't converstion earlier in the week. Can't wait for the kipples questions!

Jenna Consolo said...

I can so relate! But at least you managed to get a very readable blog post of it all...again.

Ruth Dynamite said...

I totally relate to this. My sister tells me that I've "lost (my) funny."
Your thread...my funny. Just busy.

PunditMom said...

I hear you. There are things posted on my blog, but are they worth it? And how is it impacting the rest of my life and its quality? Perhaps I'll find some answers in a little down time next week in San Fran.

Lawyer Mama said...

I know the feeling. I've been having a lot of kipple pain myself lately. ((hugs))

soupisnotafingerfood said...

Kipples. I love it! And shouting so loudly that everyone within 4 aisles of produce can hear him. You just have to laugh because what else can you do?

BTW, I would kill for your 50 comments a day. Three is a Very Good Day. Even when you write about how it's hard to write. Gawdloveya!

Anonymous said...

I so understand. When I look at the garden, or other things I used to do when life was not so hectic I pine for the slower days. I also realise that sometimes my busyness is my own making - it's all (literally) in my head, and I have to think 'slower'. That may not help you with your Exxon crisis, but it's worth a try.

GRAY MATTER MATTERS said...

I had a really clever comment to leave, but by the time I scrolled past the 975 other comments I forgot it. So I'll just say this:
I think it's pretty clear that your loving and loyal fans will wait at the proverbial door for your proverbial return and greet you with lots of proverbial dog kisses.

Amanda said...

Blogging chafes the kipples from time to time. Rest.

Ha!

Tabba said...

go easy, my love.

go easy.

Kyla said...

Hang in there. And by next week, we'll be drinking you troubles away. ;)

Missives From Suburbia said...

I hope the birds survive.

Kipples should become the official term.