Thursday, March 13, 2008

Beady Eyed Peeps & The Bad Bunny Anthology

The ransom note came home yesterday.

"Deliver the plastic eggs filled with candy or live with the shame of your performance as a mother forever!!!"


It's time to buy the effing school egg hunt supplies again.

[Week after week, it's always something... cupcakes, valentines, craptastic plastic something or other...]

Now I have make a trip to the Whale*Mart and brave the aisle full of scary peeps.

[Is it just me or are peeps a little menacing?]




In fact, Smilin' Mighty Jeebus and his risen-ness aside, the whole holiday is a little freaky.

It's not just the peeps, the bunnies are scary too.

What? You don't agree?

"Judge, I submit my evidence..."


Ninja Bunny


Vampire Bunny


Bunzilla


Bunzilla's Cousin Earl


The Dread Pirate Rabbits


Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #1


Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #2


Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #3



Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #4



Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #5


Carniverous, Man-Eating Bunny #6


Ghost Bunny



"I rest my case!"


Good dog!



[And even so, still I must brave the Whale*Mart.]


****************

Thank you so much for your reassurance about The Mayor yesterday. I have another appointment for him first thing Monday morning.

63 comments:

mamatulip said...

Oh, my god. Those pictures.

THOSE PICTURES!

I'm so glad you got an appt. for The Mayor. Please keep us posted and stick to your gut. You know your child best.

mamatulip said...

FIRST!

I was FIRST!

I've never been first here before!

BOOYA!

Joy said...

I always thought those creepy Easter bunnies at the mall were the worst!!

Jodi said...

This post was too good and the pictures...the last one had me in tears!

Hope you have a wonderful Easter! LOL!

urban-urchin said...

you forgot the bunny from "The Holy Grail" by far the scariest beast alive..... ha hahaha. What does it say about my kid that he totally loses it when sitting on Santa's lap but absolutely adores the Mall Easter Bunny?

Candygirlflies said...

Sweet Risen Jeebus, indeed...

Harharharhar.

Thank the aforementioned that I'm not the one buying all the Easter crap for your school. 'Cause screw the kids, I'd just eat it all myself!!

Glad to hear you're following your instincts with your son. Hang in there-- you'll get to the bottom of whatever is going on, soon! And then it will be fixed.

xoxo CGF

furiousBall said...

That dog rules, he especially rules bunnies

Mad said...

"The Dread Pirate Rabbits"

That's the A-material, baby.

And since when did Easter become 2nd only to Christmas in merchandising. It's making me kinda sick. BTW, my daughter is currently at the mall with her day care class visiting the Carnivorous Man-Eating Bunny. Eep.

Chilihead said...

Holy crap! I may never sleep again.

I do love the Emo Philips joke: When I eat my chocolate bunnies, I yell, "Stop looking at me!" and eat his head first.

Only it's MUCH funnier when he says it.

Paige said...

Those peeps remind me of the geese at Avondale Lake. You know how geese freak me out.

As for always needing to buy things for school, well...today I brought the snack.

I pity the poor fool who has to manage that sugar freakout.

Tanya said...

ROFL, each bunny was scarier than the last...good dog too funny.
Ok first time I've ever heard WalMart referred to as WhaleMart but omg, that is such a fitting name,lol
But leave the peeps alone, I love peeps, especially when they get a little staley with the jelly beans and grass stuck to them, yum!

Anonymous said...

The bunnies were indeed awesome, but really, how could you omit the bunny from Donnie Darko? He's like the king of scary rabbits.

Mama DB said...

Scary. Ass. Bunnies.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. The picture of the menacing peeps made me burst out with laughter. So thanks and thanks.

Carmi said...

They remind me of angry little Pac Men. Gawd, now I'm dating myself. Well, not DATING myself in the pseudo-biblical sense. I am, after all, married. But in the chronological sense.

Yes, that's it.

Good luck with the hunt. One benefit of political correctness in my burg: they don't "do" anything remotely religious in school. Which is just as well, since we've never been bunny-followers anyway.

LceeL said...

Thus the reason that you, too, are in my reader. And you know him best - trust your instincts.

Heather said...

hahahahahahahahaha .... Dread Pirate Rabbits ... hahahahahahahahahahahahaha .....

~Heather

Thalia's Child said...

That first bunny with the little girl on its lap.... I think... I think I might have nightmares. That was some creepy business.

"I am the easter bunny. I am here to SUCK YOUR SOUL".


I'm keeping The Mayor in my thoughts - You're his strongest advocate, so just keep going back and hounding the doctors until they figure out what is up.

BOSSY said...

Bossy's kids never really went in for the idea of the Menacing Bunny climbing the steps to deliver their plastic egg hunt clues (the clues which always rhymed) (and that was just as difficult to pull off as you imagine, drunk, on Easter eve)... and they preferred their baskets left in innocuous places far from their bedrooms, like the downstair's hall bath.

April said...

I feel like everyone else's need to go over-the-top on all these holidays (those pics are ridiculous!) has squeezed all of the fun out of them for me. Just a few more years, and I can celebrate my kids being over them as well! (yeah, I look forward to when my kids are jaded - is that wrong?)

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

Peeps are definitely silently plotting our downfall.

Honeybell said...

Oh. My. I haven't laughed at something that hard for a while, love those pictures. (I despise Peeps, nastiest candy ever)

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Oh my LAWD, I'm going to be having some bad dreams later.

Bungi said...

You should google bunny suicides... It is quite funny actually...

Praying for Mayor...

Sayre said...

Oh, my eyes!!!! I will never look at cute, cuddley little bunnies the same way again.

P.S. I sent you a present. You will love it!

Yolanda Elvira said...

i sent you a peep picture. i promise it's not a virus.

Mommahbear. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mommahbear. said...

I do not eat candy. I have some white sugar on my counter in a jar marked poison. My five and a half year old has NEVER, and I mean NEVER eaten a hamburger or a hot-dog. I think the sugar industry is a huge conspiracy.

And yet. Every year, those sugar encrusted marshmallow chicks (like the red-food-coloring bottles morphed into sugar-mallow-strawberries) get me. Those and the cadbury easter eggs. Chocolate cake, mousse, pumpkin pie, cheezies, candy-canes, truffles, whatever.. no holiday or candy otherwise gets me like those arteriosclerosis easter chicks. FN YUM. I don't eat them. But, I spend a lot of time wishing I did.

And, I too loathe contributing to the plastic casing, plastic wrapping, sugar industry supporting consumerism that is necessary to normalize my child with his/her peers during each and every holiday.

Great pics, btw.

WatershipDown changed my view of bunnies forevermore.

(previous comment deleted to edit for grammar.)

flutter said...

You're high if you don't think Bunzilla rules.

Now, Peeps? I love. I can't eat them because, well they ain't so good for the sugabetes, and well I try to stay away from eating things with colors not found in nature...but I love them and I think they are REALLY cute

jakelliesmom said...

The weird part for me is the whole dismemberment and decapitation of the poor hollow bunny before it meets its demise. Odd, no?

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Let me tell you about the freak that is the Easter Bunny.

Apparently he will be leaving dead sea animals in the baskets this year.

Biddy said...

any BUNNY that leaves EGGS is definitely scary as hell

Emily said...

Crrrreeeeeepy!

(and my security word for this comment is "jrjoy". ha. I'm easily ammused.)

Redneck Mommy said...

I love those pictures. I'm totally going to use them to scar my children for life.

Heehee.

Please be FIRM with those doctors for the Mayor's appointment. You are his advocate and his momma. If he's broke, you know it. Trust your instincts and MAKE them listen.

Best of luck, friend.

Laura said...

I cannot stop snorting!!!! those photos of bunnies are killing me!!!!

fooped said...

You are a freak and I love you for it.

See you in Tenntucky!

Don Mills Diva said...

I think this was the first post today that actually made me laugh out loud - classic pictures!

Traceytreasure said...

I sent you a peep picture, too. I hope it's not the same one that Yolanda sent you. BTW, I love your blog!

cce said...

My daughter was absolutely terrified of that Easter Bunny up until about five minutes ago when she discovered it's just a sad man in a bad costume. Those pics are priceless, especially the last. Easter bunny carnage. Is nothing sacred?

carrie said...

Oh yes, I got my Easter egg assignment this morning.

Whatever will I do?

Kyla said...

OH. MY. GOD. The funny.

My laughter escalated every time I scrolled down more.

MsPrufrock said...

Peeps have forever creeped me out. They just aren't natural. Despite my fear of Peeps and their ilk, I know of a couple peeptastic (sorry) sites:

http://www.peepresearch.org/

http://peepscontest.blogspot.com/

I was entertained anyway.

KathyLikesPink said...

Never before have I seen Peeps look so menacing...the stuff of nightmares!

THE MOM BOMB said...

Those pictures had me snorting coffee out my nose.

And I'm totally with you: bunnies are man-eating carnivores. I know from personal experience, as our daughter's bunny has nipped me more times than I can count.

You wanna send your dog on over her? (heh heh)

Angela said...

Hey! How'd ya get that there picture of my dog? We thought we had buried the evidence from our children....

Rosie said...

Oh my God! Who on earth would make their children pose with those 'things' and take photos? Very funny all the same!

Above Average Joe said...

I was there today at lunch buying pillows for the kids.

Yes, she took the effing pillows, too!

Deb said...

Oh, my GOD... those pictures are hysterical! I'm a little creeped out by the one with the little girl in the wicker chair, because I SWEAR that's the same chair and same Easter Bunny from my childhood photos. I'm going to look for that tomorrow.

Dollar Store. Do the Dollar Store.

Circus Kelli said...

Hold me. I'm scared.

Faerie Mom said...

Peeps and bunnys ARE scary. That's why I eat them feet first. So they can suffer.

Those pics are just too funny!

PunditMom said...

As for Peeps, the Washington Post has a hearly Peep diorama contest -- perhaps you should enter??

Seriously, though, thinking of you and the Mayor.

Major Bedhead said...

Peeps. The Zombies of the marshmallow world. "Peeeeeeeps! Peeeeeeeeps!"


The Dread Pirate Rabbits just about made me pee my pants.

Angella said...

"Bunzilla's Cousin Earl" GAVE ME HEART PALPITATIONS!

Denguy said...

Did you know that the Dread Pirate Rabbits takes no suvivohs?

And that Bunzilla pic's a fake.

a. beaverhausen said...

Thanks to the sweet baby Jebus, everyone in our family is too old to hunt the Easter Eggs. Or pose with the evil deliverer of said eggs.

Moobs said...

We don't have the Easter Bunny over here. Presumably he is too busy devouring your young to bother with pasty-faced yellow-toothed British kids.

Hang on ... I'm in Canada at the moment ... will garlic ward him off?

creative-type dad said...

Suddenly....I'm afraid of bunnies.

LaskiGal said...

Bunnies are now officially creeping me out.

Kelley said...

Ninja bunnies... oh how I loves me some ninja bunnies.

So tell me, you US folk sit on the Easter Bunny's freaking LAP? Like Santa? What on *stammer* I am truly amazed, in awe, shocked and a little creeped out.

Matt Bell said...

I once had Carnivorous Man-Eating Bunny #3 chasing me round the streets of Boulder, Co. Mind you, it was Halloween, and I was, erm, a little worse for wear at the time.

WILLIAM said...

Man eating Playboy Bunnies.

Magpie said...

I have no trouble with yellow Peeps. It's the pink and turquoise and purple ones that scare me.

the mama bird diaries said...

Hilarious.

The first "dead" thing I ever had to explain to my daughter was a dead rabbit brought in the house by our dog.

GRAY MATTER MATTERS said...

Oh, Silly Joy, don't you know the universal fact that one of something is cute. 100 of something is creepy. Peeps are case in point. (Works with babies and kittens too).