Friday, February 22, 2008

Up From The Soul's Basement


Even though his surgeon said he’d be out of pain and wouldn’t need further pain medication after a day or so,
ten days later The Mayor continues to suffer.

Mornings are the worst and nights aren't much better.

[We slept more when he was an infant.]

The Mayor wakes up screaming throughout the night.

One night he screamed so violently that we lifted him out of bed to comfort him but this only made him angrier. He started throwing punches with his good arm and kicking us in the shins.

Pitiful.

When K took him to his check-up the Doctor said that everything looked fine. He even suggested that The Mayor might be able to have the cast off earlier than expected.

Something just doesn't add up.

When the Doctor briefed K and I about the surgery he warned us that nerve damage was a possible complication. He said that if nerve damage occurred, it would be quite painful for The Mayor.


“How will we know if there is nerve damage?” I asked him.

“He’ll have shooting pains down his arm and numbness in his fingers.”

What I didn’t think to ask was,

“How will a three year old articulate something that specific to me?”

When The Mayor yells that he is in pain I feel particularly helpless.

What he says is,


“Ow Ow OW, Mommy, it HURTS!!!”

“What does it feel like?” I ask him.

“It’s…it’s…it’s like hot sprinkles!”

Hot sprinkles.

"Show me where it hurts," I say.

The Mayor sweeps his hand from his shoulder to his fingertips.

"My fingers hurt more than anything in the world," he says.

Desperate to ease the pain but clueless as to how, I called the surgeon’s office again.

I was told he
is away until Monday.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked the technician.

“Give him some of the pain medication,” he said.

“It’s finished and besides, the surgeon said he wouldn’t need it this long.”

The technician seemed less helpful than the receptionist. I could hear his vacant eyes blinking.

I was frustrated and starting to boil.

“The surgeon mentioned the possibility of nerve damage,” I explained. “How will we know if my son has this and, if he does, how can it be treated?”

“Uh… I’ll have to ask the Dr.,” the tech replied.

The boil increased and I started to bubble over.

Look,” I said as the beast in my soul's basement pulled against its restraints, “here’s what’s going to happen... you will call my pharmacy immediately and order a refill of my son’s pain medication. On Monday, the very first person the surgeon sees will be my son and we will plan to remain in your office until the cause of his pain is both identified and resolved. Do we have an agreement?”

“Um, yes. Of course, ma'am.” the tech cowed.

People of the world, hear this!

Do not mess with The Mayor’s Mama.

There's a beast in her basement and you don't want to meet it.




106 comments:

Annie said...

Not that you need me to tell you, but you did the right thing.

I hope the meds help him over the weekend.

Miz UV said...

"Hot sprinkles" is such a great description. Your little guy is very articulate! So sorry he's in pain though and good for you to get more meds for him. Doctors, grr.

naginata said...

Aw Jess, I'm so sorry for you all. You were SO right to tell that tech off. Obviously he doesn't have kids.

Here's to a swift resolution to the complications. Hugs kiddo!

Kelly said...

Sick 'em! I'm calling you next time I need a medical issue resolved!;)

Paige said...

Poor baby. Poor Mama.

He sounds like he's in the sort of pain I was in when my busted back discs were pinching my...sciatic nerve.

I hope it's not that bad because I know what it feels like as an adult. I can only imagine what it feels like for a small person.

furiousBall said...

Can I have you talk to my oral surgeon for me? my dry sockets hurt!

bethtrue said...

You go girlfriend!! That's ridiculous behaviour from the Surgeon's office and i'm sure you'll let them know about it on Monday. And I'm so sorry for the Mayor. :-( Hang in there; the meds are on their way. Here's to a resolution on Monday.

jen said...

oh honey. poor Mayor. poor you. poor K. poor Mayor.

i am so, so sad for him, the little guy whom i entirely adore.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

I am furious and frustrated for you just from reading this. I hope he does OK this week end.

Not the Queen said...

You are one awesome Mama! Bravo!

CamiKaos said...

good job mama bear.

Jenifer said...

Poor Mayor! You know I had those pins in my arm and I don't remember much of my week in the hospital as I was heavily medicated according to my Mom. What happens is -according to Mom - is that when it starts to heal everything is pulling against the pins.

I still have the faint scars and the odd twinge in my elbow, but am happy to say I made a full recovery. At the time they told my Mom I would have "limited mobility" at best.

Good luck with the appointment on Monday, I hope it is a simple as the pains of healing.

DD said...

I love it when you play Bad Cop...you naughty, naughty girl.

Mmmrrrrow.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

The poor guy. You are a good mama to get him the relief he needs. And, I'll keep my fingers crossed that his nerves are ok!

corgimom said...

Good for you!
(Better than Shirley Maclaine in "Terms of Endearment.")
The medical system takes a lot of agressive oversight in order to get the best care for our wee ones.

Gretchen said...

Do not mess with a Mama protecting her young.

Something else they may want to look at... A few years back my mom had a cast on her foot. The doctor said the pain would be 'significantly better' in the next day or so. It was not. She went back and there was a crease in the stocking they put on before the cast.

You did a fantastic job. I probably would have started crying.

A Bumble World said...

good for you for being a beastie about getting your son seen pronto.

For what it's worth, my mom has long experienced nerve pain from her mastectomy five years ago. She tried everything and what finally worked was to rub vicks on the area. something about the menthol penetrates the tissue and calms down the "hot sprinkles."

Might be worth a try, can't do any harm with vicks...

liv said...

wow! go, mom! i am so not good at confrontation...

Mama DB said...

I hate that a person needs to wake the beast in order to get any where in this world. People just encourage you to fly off of the handle as niceness and patience can get you no where most of the time.

I'm sorry the little guy is in pain. I hope you get the answers you need first thing on Monday.

Sayre said...

Way to go, Mama Bear!!! Don't no one mess with YOUR cubs!

WYWH said...

When my daughter was 18 months old, she had what sounds like the same fracture (a complicated break right above the elbow) and had surgery to place two pins in her arm. It's been a few years, but I don't remember much pain after the first few days, and I don't recall it ever being as bad as what you describe (aside from the seven hours we spent in the hospital before they got around to providing her with any pain relief whatsoever... just thinking about that rouses my inner beast). So I think your concerns are totally valid. On the positive side, I can tell you that in my daughter's case, she healed in three weeks, regained full mobility, and the surgeon pulled out the pins without having to anesthetize her at all. She didn't even yelp.

ewe are here said...

Poor Mayor!

I know that nerve pain...crushed my radial nerve when I shattered my elbow 15 years ago ... and I'm so terribly sorry he's going through this...

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry your son is suffering. I hope he (and you) get through the weekend and are able to get things resolved on Monday.
Thinking of you...

Janet said...

Everyone needs a fierce mama in their corner.

Poor little guy.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Thatta way to roar Mama Bear!

Poor Mayor. I hope the meds help get him thru the weekend and you get some answers on Monday.

I'll be thinking of you!

Edge said...

Some of it could be a reaction to the pain meds wearing off. Sometimes little ones can have that reaction. I hate to phrase it this way, but it's more primative. The pain meds invoke the fight or flight syndrome. It's kind of like when they come out of anesthesia and are violent. But I am sure he does have a little nerve damage. Hot sprinkles sounds like tingling. But I am sure the doctor will be quite happy to talk to you on Monday!

~Jef

skiplovey said...

Oh poor kid. That sounds awful.

Nice on opening up that can of whoopass on the Dr's office. Don't you hate it when they're so not caring about your situation?

jakelliesmom said...

Poor little guy, he must be so angry and frustrated to be hurting when it's not supposed to hurt anymore (you and K, too). I'm glad the tech responded, and I wish you much strength getting through these next few days, and even more, a faster recovery.

Omaha Mama said...

Ooooh, don't piss off the mama bear.

kristen said...

it breeaks my heart when little ones aren't able to articulate the hurt, although i think the mayor is brilliant - nerve pain would feel like hot sprinkles, it's the perfect description.

never mess with a mama, dumb ass techie. i just hope he understood what's happening on monday, otherwise he'd best not show up at work.

i hope your weekend is better.

love to you.

Mrs. Flinger said...

Oh, y'all. I'll be thinking of you. I hope they truly do get The Mayor taken care of. I know they will because he has you in his corner.

XO

Blog Antagonist said...

You are Mama, hear you ROAR! There is nothing to bring out our inner Lioness like our children in pain. I hope they can indentify the cause of his pain and fix it. Poor lil guy.

Hetha said...

This just makes me sick for the Mayor and for you. I know that basement voice and have been known to use it plenty of times in the last 2 years. I'm glad you found that voice and aren't afraid to use it! Keeping the Mayor in my thoughts....

Ruth Dynamite said...

Oh good God! I'm so sorry for the Mayor's bad break and all this...eh.

Thinking of you both and wishing him well.

meno said...

The mom from HELL.

Good for you.

LadyBugCrossing said...

You go!!
I'd love to be a fly on the wall of that office on Monday.
xo
LBC

Fran said...

I am proud of your reaction. Everyone needs someone to stand up for them in medical situations when things are not being taken seriously.

Give your little man a hug for me!

Fran

Angela said...

I'm so sorry to read that your little boy is still in so much pain, poor little one! He is very lucky to have Mama Beast to defend and protect him. Keep roaring and raging.

chantelle said...

Way to go Mama! You let them know who's boss!

Honeybell said...

Poor little guy . . . and good for you, I'm so sorry you got such a moron on the phone.

Beck said...

Your poor baby. I hope he gets feeling much, much better.

Colleen said...

Good for you!
I had problems like this while I was trying to deal with Zoe (as a 2 month old) in a body cast. Not nerve damage pain... just trying to get help with how to deal with everything that goes along with trying to figure out why a newborn in a body cast is screaming. I wish I had been as forceful... embarrassingly... hysterical crying on the phone seemed to work too.

Anonymous said...

Pain Pain Go away. Come back another day .

Williams Brother

Magpie said...

You're one good mama. Poor baby. I hope the pain meds help the hot sprinkles.

Little Monkies said...

Nobody is going to make things move unless you require it. It's a sad thing, but you have to be your own best advocate for care.

Little chicken, I feel for him.

I hope this has a good resolution...and, the beast is right where she needs to be...at your beck and call.

XOX

Christina said...

Woo! Go you - never cross a mama with a hurting child!

You totally did the right thing. Doctors get used to hearing that everyone needs to be seen "right now". You showed them that no, you're serious, and they need to do something right. now.

Lisa Milton said...

I'm glad you got the meds, before the weekend arrived.

I so hope he doesn't have nerve damage. Nerve pain is a bitch to deal with.

Poor Mayor.

You're all in my thoughts.

Mimi said...

Good for you. I'm so sorry for The Mayor. How awful. And you keep on kicking whatever asses need kicking.

Kyla said...

Your poor boy. I'm sorry he's still suffering.

Good for you and your beast, you two did good.

Cathy said...

You go, Mama!

Poor little man -- I hope the meds help until you get in there Monday.

You absolutely did the right thing.

Elaine A. said...

Poor, poor Mayor. I hate to hear of any child being in pain, but the way he described it, oh that just hurts my heart. I hope he feels A TON better VERY soon...

Geologychick said...

Technician...Reception... sounds so alike!
Good luck this weekend - hope the pain meds work! There's a whole bunch of us standing right behind you on Monday morning that doctor's office! Go get 'em!

jennifer h said...

Oh, that's a very good speech. Go, mama lion, go.

I hope the little guy feels better.

JCK said...

Nothing like a mama's roar!

I'm so sorry to hear he is in such horrible pain. Good thoughts for Monday.

Alpha DogMa said...

"The Mayor’s Mama. There's a beast in her basement and you don't want to meet it."

Sexiest beast on the internets, IMO.

I swear it is a maternal right of passage: yelling at a health care provider because your child's well being is more important than being polite. FUCKERS! Let it rip!

jeanie said...

Jess

Apologies - you are going to get a long comment here.

My daughter had the same break - but not the same dufus doctor, obviously.

My doctor said that there will be ongoing pain for a couple of weeks, because with a break like that you cannot hold the bones in place completely still and allow movement of the elbow. That is why, over here they use a backslap and bandage rather than just a cast.

You know where the break is, right? Just above the "funny bone" - which is actually where all the nerves intersect in the arm - so there is bound to be some additional nerve pain.

I had my daughter on the strong pain relief for at least a week, with panadol when needed for some time after.

When she was all "fixed" (it took several months to heal) and the wires were out, she still had some trouble with a slight palsy.

I asked the doctor about physio and he recommended that the best exercise to get it all back in shape was washing windows.

lol - you remember the Karate Kid window washing move - that is the one!

I hope your boy is well soon. If it makes you feel better, it is the most common childhood injury. Which doesn't.

Kelley said...

'a beast in her basement '

That is awesome. I love that. Can I use that when I am fighting *insert any and every moron/dept/whatever here* for my Boo.

You are the mumma lion. I am bow to your awesomeness.

Sending hugs to you and your little man. And some of my special healing vibes.

Shannon said...

It never occured to me that there could be nerve damage from his broken arm. No one ever mentions that when they talk about broken bones.

I hope the meds help him and that the surgeon can reassure you that the nerves will heal over time. I hope they will!

Amanda said...

Oh, how I love the ferocity of your roar, mama.

Good luck over the next few days. A few weeks back as our girls entertained themselves while we worked on our kitchen they happened upon a jar of sprinkles - what ensued look like some sort of '80's after hours party, complete with lines and dirty noses. Maybe you could let The Mayor have some fun with sprinkles...

Patience said...

Poor, poor Mayor! Take no prisoners, Mad Tiger Mama!!

Jan said...

Way to go. That guy's probably never been "spanked" over the phone before.

bzybead said...

Jess, I have learned dealing with just about anybody in a service related field over the phone that you really must tell them what you want and demand it otherwise it doesn't challenged them to do it. Good job holding back the reigns but getting what you wanted. . . almost. I know you want the mayor out of pain.

13 years after my surgery, I still get itching and tingling in my foot . . . there will be a solution, and I hope VERY much that it will not continue to be as painful as it has been thus far. I do know that a doctor once told me "next time we are in there we can kill the nerve". Not an option you want to hear. I will keep up the good mojo thoughts and look forward to sharing stories with the mayor soon.

xo

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Damn straight!

Natalie said...

I think it is very unfortunate that the doctor left his staff at a loss for what to do in emergencies when he is out.

Poor little Mayor, what a little genius for articulating his pain in such a way though!

amy t sharp said...

Yr a fierce and fab mommy
I am so sorry about all of this
really I am wishing peace godspeed to you all xo amy

Ann M. said...

poor mayor!

you did absolutely the right thing. i hope that the mayor feels a little better with his medicine, and that the doctor is more helpful on monday....

Sadie said...

Good for you!!!

It just takes a baby in pain to unleash the true power of the mama. The technician didn't know what hit him!!

On the other side...I hope the Mayor feels better soon.

Dawn said...

Good for you for standing up for your son. Poor guy, I seriously hope it isn't nerve damage, but his discription is frighteningly similar to how I think a kid would describe it.

It is amazing to me how mean and angry we have to get with some people just to be an advocate for our children. I'm glad you had the nerve to get things accomplished. Hope the Mayor is feeling better soon.
D

Amy said...

I hope he's OK and there is no damage.

You're right to roar about this. It's beyond infuriating when a doctor's office acts all like "What? I don't know what to tell you." ARGHhh!

Not Hannah said...

Bless his sweet heart.

I'm so glad you told that wanker exactly how it was going to be.

AnotherMomCreation said...

UGh, that is just heart-wrenching!
You are a great Mom!

Rosie said...

The poor Major, it's dreadful to hear how much pain he is in. If I had been you I would have done exactly the same. Hope you get some good news on Monday.

Cyndi said...

Wow, that brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry that he is in pain and you had such a hard time making it easier for him. I hope everything works out just fine. You go, mama bear!

Tracey said...

You are like the Mommy terminator! You are all "I'll be back," and shit! Go girl!

carrie said...

I am so sorry that he's going through this. It isn't fair.

Crossing my fingers that they get it all figured out soon!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

You are awesome! Good for you.

I hope the Mayor's pain meds help him. Poor guy shouldn't have to be going through that!

Candygirlflies said...

"Grendel's Mother"!!!

You go, Girlfriend...

xo CGF

Queen Karana said...

Poor Mayor and Momma. Not much joy going on at your house I can tell. I think you are a great mama lion and did exactly the right thing.

Hope you get some good help on Monday.

QT said...

Jess - I hope at this point, the mayor has some relief. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

kurrabikid said...

GO MAMA!!

Katrina said...

I call it my "momma lion" and no one messes with the momma lion's cubs. good for you for standing up for the mayor! Let the basement beast roar!!!

cinnamon gurl said...

Good job, mama beast! But oh poor Mayor! I hope his pain is easily resolved tomorrow morning...

Stimey said...

Oh, poor, poor Mayor. Hot sprinkles sound very sad. I am very impressed by your appointment wrangling though. Well done!

FUN-ky Mama said...

Good job mom! Sometimes that beast just has to come out.
I hope the poor Mayor feels better very soon.

imaginary binky said...

The poor Mayor. I hope his hot sprinkles go away.

I've found that complying with doctors is never the way to get things done. Pushing, prodding, needling, and yelling can do wonders. Good job, mama.

fidget said...

i hope they can fix this! Poor little dudeet

Laura said...

Ohhh how painful. good for you for putting your foot down and taking control. I sure hope the pain can be managed. HUGS

Lisa said...

High five! Seriously, don't F with momma! Poor guy. Poor Momma!

Just a thought...Is there a possibility that he could be having side affects or an allergic reaction from the pain meds? When I was sent home from surgery with codine (sp?)at age 9 I had an allergic reaction and became extremely violent, hallucinated, didn't recognize my parents, and screamed that my whole body was in pain.

Maureen said...

Wow, good for you!!! I am so sorry to hear of his suffering, I do hope he is better soon. So glad that Beast dealt with it perfectly. Way to go. Take care.

mamatulip said...

Fuckin' right, Mama.

I hope the medication has helped to subside the pain.

I'll be thinking of you and the Mayor on Monday.

Chilihead said...

Good for you! You handled that great! I bow to your beast.

Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck said...

Good. For. You. Let that beast out if needs be...

I hope the Mayor feels better soon.

MamaCarter said...

You GO!!! Everyone should be this brave. And don't relent on Monday, just because you've got a refill on the meds! Give 'em hell.

Crunchy Carpets said...

OOOOH man...that poor kid.

I hope things are better.

It probably is nerve damage and probably nothing to worry about..BUT he is a small child.

How do you HELP him or explain it to him!

Jenn said...

I know that beast.

It was born the same day as Big A.

Please, keep us posted.

Emily said...

bless his sweet heart.

hoping you are the first to be seen in the morning.

Lotta said...

There's nothing worse than being unable to comfort your kid when they are in pain. Maybe you should just skip a step and make an apointment with a pediatric neuro?

Moi said...

Good for you, Mayor's Mama.

Best wishes to all of you for a speedy diagnosis and recovery.

Amanda said...

You're right to unleash the beast! I hope your son is feeling better....he's so little to have so much pain....

3carnations said...

Oh, I hope everything turns out well...Poor little guy.

Doesn't the rest of the world know you just don't make moms wait to make their babies feel better?

Erin said...

Oh NO! I hope everything gets worked out quickly for the Mayor. That is just awful! Good for you, though, doing whatever it takes to see that he is taken care of...even putting the fear of Jess into that sorry tech-guy.

Joeprah said...

I wish for all this to be a dream in the near future. I pray all this passes quickly for the Mayor and that the Dr. doesn't end up dead via the Beast. Best wishes!

Kristin said...

You go Mama Bear! I hope today they are able to help the Mayor... what a terrible lot for a small boy.

Frank.Sugar&Spice said...

When I first read about your son´s injury I couldn´t help but cringe and I keep doing so every time I read about it, like in this latest post of yours.

I hope he gets better.

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

Oh poor thing.

My sister belongs to a group of Mom's called "Mothers from Hell" -- it's actually for mom's with special needs kids, but you could be an honorary member.

Hope he feels better soon and they were able to find out what the problem is.

Lawyer Mama said...

Don't mess with mama. Good for you!