So far The Rooster has tagged along for The Mayor’s play dates or spent time with our friend’s children who are, for the most part, boys older than her.
At two and a half, The Rooster finally has two little, girl friends of her own from daycare.
The mother of one of the girls and I have befriended each other.
After she and I established that we liked each other we arranged a get together so that our husbands could meet and they also liked each other.
Things look good…
The other little girl that Rooster plays with is almost always picked up by her father.
He and I often chat while the kids run around in the play yard after school.
[Neither of us ever seem eager to descend into the potential hell that is usually referred to as "dinner time."]
I like the daycare dad.
I'd love to get to know him and his wife, both for the sake of making new friends and to create more opportunities for Rooster to play with another girl her age.
But it's tricky.
K picked the kids up from daycare while I worked extra hours these last three days.
K wasn't in a hurry to get home to the chaos of dinner time and, like me, he hung out in the play yard chatting with the other parents while the kids made the most of the day’s end.
Driving home from work yesterday, I saw that K’s car was still at the daycare center and, eager to see him and the kids, I stopped.
When I got to the play yard I noticed that K was talking to the daycare dad and surprisingly, his wife was also there. She and I made a date to meet each other at the playground this weekend.
Later I was talking to K about how glad I was that she and I made plans together.
“I’d like to be friends with them," I said, "but I almost always see the Dad and my primary relationship can’t be with him, it has to be with her.”
“I don’t think so,” K said. “Why couldn't you establish a friendship with the Dad?”
I rolled my eyes.
“That is not how it works,” I told him.
“What do you mean? Why not?”
“Play that out, K” I said. “Do you feel comfortable with the idea of daycare dad and I having lunch dates and getting pedicures together?”
He looked at me like I was a bit odd.
[A familiar look.]
“Seriously, K. YOU have to make friends with HIM and I have to make friends with HER. That’s how it works.”
K looked doubtful.
I can’t seem to express it well for K, but the rules about making friends DO change when you get married.
I can’t just make friends with another woman’s husband!
Help me out here....