Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Flavor of Pure Pleasure

The Mayor finally got to chew his gum.

He carefully unwrapped it, stuck it in his mouth, chewed for 15 seconds and said,

"Gack! Ptht! Mommy, this is disgusting! I don't like it."

I told him to spit it in the garbage can.


He spit it out and begged for a drink to get rid of the taste.

Not just any drink... oh, no.

Milk is to The Mayor what National Park Ranger uniforms are to me.

He doesn't just ask for milk, he specifically asks for "
fresh, cold milk."

He actually speaks in italics.. and breathy ones at that.

"Mommy, please can I have Fresh... Cold.... Milk?"

Washing away the evil wrong
taste of Bazooka Joe, he slurped the milk down with a shiver of pleasure.

[Complete. Toddler. Moo-gasm.]

After his post-milk cigarette, he said,

"Mommy, next time can you get me gum without a flavor?"

"I don't think so, Mayor. All of the gum I know of comes in flavors."


He thought about that for a moment and then said,

"Okay, then could you get me some milk flavored gum?"


Uh,yeah.

I'll get right on that.




71 comments:

Family Adventure said...

Oooh, I was wondering how the gum chewing had gone. Poor baby. He's just too wholesome for chewing gum :)

Heidi

Mary Alice said...

Cute cute cute. So I guess that was a little choco gasm I had a few moments ago when I ate the truffle?

Pgoodness said...

Milk flavored gum...ewww. And so cute!

Queen Karana said...

Ahhh, poor kid. Bazooka Joe gum is definitely one of the worst flavors. I wouldn't have recommended that one for a first attempt.

But, since you don't really want him chewing gum anyway, I'm guessing your good for another year or so.

tulipmom said...

LOL!

Guess that'll save you the hassle of removing the gum from household objects (and people).

mommiebear2 said...

After all that and then he is sadly dissapointed, total bummer.

Marmite Breath said...

At least he didn't try Big Red or Dentyne. Hooo boy, that woulda burned him and would not have been pretty.

The boy ain't right though--he doesn't like gum, but he drinks milk. EW! I HATE milk!

But still, I do love The Mayor!

EE said...

This could be a million dollar idea;)

we_be_toys said...

I'm with the Mayor - Fresh Cold Milk is the only way to drink it - I keep glasses in the freezer just for that purpose - Icy Cold Milk...mmmmm! I love the picture of the cow on the rainbow, blowing a bubble too!

3carnations said...

My son loves milk more than any other beverage as well. At school they offer chocolate milk as a treat. Well, it's no treat to him. They have to make sure they have white milk especially for him on those days. We went to a cookout once where he had not one, but two juice boxes for dinner. We rarely have juice boxes, so that was a treat to him. However, as soon as we got in the car to head home, the first words out of his mouth? Do we have any milk in here? Mommy knows her boy, so we did indeed have some milk in our little cooler. That's my boy.

Victoria said...

Very cute! My Boy loves Milk and hates gum too. (My Girl hates milk and worships gum).

furiousBall said...

milk flavored gum... hmm, i'm not sure about how that would be. well, if it does it for your little guy, seems ok to me, just more gum flavored gum for the rest of us

slouching mom said...

Ben's had many moogasms too. Crack me up, you.

I'm back and bettah than evah! (Yeah, right.) But happy to be reading you again!

JoeinVegas said...

I can picture a whole line - milk gum, milk flavored cigarettes, milk flavored . . .

Kaleigh said...

Hi. I just tagged you. I think that means, "You're IT!"

Amy said...

Oh funny! Shark Boy is a milk lover too, in the extreme. He says "can I have a glass of 2% please?" (Hubs bought whole milk once because it was on sale and we spend $75 a month on milk. Oh. My. God. Disaster. Now he asks for 2%.)

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Declan would TOTALLY do that.

And check me out, commenting early, not being #96 for once in my life.

Heidi Hyde said...

So sweet. I wonder if they could make those "bursting" gums-- you know the "bursting" ones? With milk in the middle. On second thought- blech.

-HH

acumamakiki said...

I always crack up when my girl asks for a fresh drink, as though we've been serving less than fresh anything to her. (=

Paige said...

I love how Mayor speaks in italics. It makes me want to invent milk-flavored gum for him.

Not The Mama said...

Oh no! The Mayor was so excited about his gum, and it was a total flop. What a disappointment.

And I have to say that milk-flavored gum is one of the grossest things I've contemplated in a long time. Yuck.

Clink said...

Adorable..My heart goes out to him on the Bazooka...yick! Do they still come with comics?

Lisa Milton said...

My nephew is hooked on the stuff too. Come to think of it, both of them are - all wrongs are made right by the stuff.

The Mayor's in good company.

T. said...

The fact that he asks for "fresh, cold milk" is hilarious. Because, what, you might give him old, stale, sour milk??? Too darned cute.

QT said...

I second the cuteness of asking for "fresh" - as if!

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

I still crap at "I might have to touch it a lot."

My husband says the same thing before bed, btw.

I used to eat bazooka joe gum.

God, I'm disgusting.

Annette Lyon said...

You got a keeper there. Cute kid.

BusyDad said...

Love your site! First time visitor. Your kid sounds like a riot (and he sure as hell knows EXACTLY what he wants). Hey, I’m not sure what part of the country you live in, but if there’s an Asian market near you (there’s one on every block here in Los Angeles! Even the Starbucks are scared), go and buy a bag of “White Rabbit” – it’s a chewy Chinese candy (lead-free, as far as I can tell) that’s milk-flavored. I kid you not. And each piece is wrapped in rice paper, which looks and feels like cellophane but melts in your mouth (kids love that).

Jennifer said...

Bazooka Joe is pretty nasty. It's like chalk-flavored gum or something. Rock on, Mayor!

Jen said...

Come to Minnesota. We have milk flavored gum here. I wish I was kidding.

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

You totally lucked out! Bazooka sucks, good thing he didn't try watermelon or something else yummier.

Moogasm *snort* - made my day!

Misty Dawn said...

You should patent that! He's come up with a new flavor! It will be the craze everywhere!

Thalia's Child said...

Halloween gum is always disgusting. Poor kid.

I don't know if you get the stuff down there in the States, but we used to get this horrible gum that tasted like soap every year when we went trick or treating. It was called Thrills and it tasted like soap.

Every year I would have to taste one piece to make sure it really tasted like soap. YUCK. Yup. Every year it did. I would have killed for milk flavoured gum.

SusieJ said...

Too wholesome. So sweet.

wordgirl said...

We at Half House share the Mayor's adoration of milk. When the oldest child is home from college we go through 8 gallons a week. I love milk more than beer...and that's saying quite a bit!

Josi said...

Ha, ha--remind him that it won't stay cold in his mouth and maybe that will talk him out of it :-)

~JJ! said...

moo-gasm.

Where do you come up with this stuff?

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Moo-gasm! Ha! Carson has an Ovaltine-laced Moo-gasm every single day.

suchsimplepleasures said...

hey there,
you left a comment on my blog that is the beginning of a novel i'm writing. it wasn't a real person. but, thank you...i guess she seems real.
take care and thanks for stopping by! love your blog...it's great!

motherbumper said...

He might be on to something - patent that quick!

And moogasm is my word of the day, thankyouverymuch.

PunditMom said...

I'm with Motherbumper -- it could be a great marketing niche!

Does he need a good lawyer to help him out with the paperwork? ;)

megachick said...

one of the least yummy sounding combo's i have heard of in a while, but he is freakin' adorable.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Moogasm? I've never had one of those. I think I'm going to have to try it.

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

BWahahahaha!

Bazooka gum is gross.

Bubalicious....yum

*~*Cece*~* said...

Ewww. Milk flavored gum. Blah!

allrileyedup said...

So simple an idea, I can't believe our fine dairy folks have never thought to do that.

BOSSY said...

It breaks Bossy's heart a little that he finally chewed the gum! And it was! Awful. One of many disappointments, but Bossy hopes this is the stickiest.

PS When Bossy's son was little he made specific and nightly requests for Nice Warm Chotty Milk.

(this is like a politically correct version of "Hot Chocolate" for those toddlers not willing to perpetually burn the insides of their mouth like Bossy did as a wee child.)

Stepping Over the Junk said...

My girls will ONLY chew Juicy Fruit. We rarely chew gum, but they dont like bubble gum. they dont like the candy flavored toothpaste either.

flutter said...

fresh cold milk...heh

Denguy said...

I honestly can't think of anything worse than milk-flavoured gum.

Pendullum said...

Reminds me of Scooter who wanted Chocolate Chip cookies without the chocolate chips....

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

What is it with boys and their milk? My 2 guzzle it non-stop!

As for the gum... my 6.5 year old still eats it!


No gum for you!

The Empty Nest said...

Most excellent post. I'm still laughing. Moogasm. I loooove it.

Where on Earth did you find that amazing painting of the cow on the rainbow? It made me think of the hilarious song "Cows With Guns" by Dana Lyons. To hear it, go to his website at http://www.cowswithguns.com/homepage.html and select "jukebox" on the front page.

Mac and Cheese said...

I'm surprised that he didn't pretend to like it after all that build up.

Bastet said...

That is classic toddler! I love the "moo-gasm" comment...This sounds so much like my daughter.

LOL!

beta mom said...

With Bazooka Joe all it would have taken was another minute and he would have had gum with no flavor!

FENICLE said...

Fresh, cold milk uh? What the hell have you been serving that kid? Chunky, warm?

kellyo75 said...

That's so cute. What about that Zebra Stripe gum? Do they even still make that?? That was good when I was a kid.

Serina Hope said...

That is cute.
The thought of milk flavored gum just makes me shudder.
That is an awesome picture.

mitzh said...

Milk flavored gum... I can't even begin to imagine what it would really taste like.

But it was he was sooo ADORABLE!

My daughter loves gum, A LOT.

Stella said...

Just reading about that fresh cold milk makes me want some!

Leendaluu said...

I wondered what my next career move would be...that's it. Milk gum! (with added calcium to make mom's happy). Once upon a time the Food Science Department here thought bubble gum flavored milk would be a good idea. Imagine how that would ruin the Rooster's day...

Deb said...

Thats just sick to have milk flavored gum! LOL

Sorry I have been MIA from your blog, so much going on! Kids had alot of school meetings, I had some stuff going on, Hubby's work is stressful, and I get the kids almost 24/7 when hubby is working . Needless to say I need a freaking vacation which is coming up Dec 8, my cruise! Hope you are doing well!

I did manage to post a thursday post, come by and visit if you can. I will try to keep up on my blogs more!

DEB

Haley-O said...

Moo-gasm! ha! You're hilarious! Totally great post!

kittenpie said...

Funny, ours only likes milk warm. And stupidly, I did it for her often enough when she was little that she ALWAYS wants it warm now. Preferably with chocolate in it...

Jenifer said...

I have moo-gasms too and I love my milk fresh and cold...and preferably with a stack of Oreos.

I guess it is not so bad then that my girls ask for ice cold water from the fridge ...and I just thought they were demanding little buggers.

Lawyer Mama said...

I can understand the appeal of milk flavored gum. I'm addicted to the stuff.

Biddy said...

moo-gasm bwahahahaha

this post reminds me so much of jake!! he lovvvves his "milky" too oh and gum? ha! fuhgetaboutit

crankybee said...

We used to ask my mum for toast at breakfast time.

But not just any toast.

"Muuummmmm, can you make me some toast? Crunchy, juicy, beautiful."

That was the toast, not me mutha.

tanya25m said...

He is so cute!! Milk flavored gum... that was just too much!

mothergoosemouse said...

Moo-gasm. My girls have multiple moo-gasms each day. I'm so jealous.