Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sucker Punch

The waitress took one look at K and knew she had him right where she wanted him.

One man with two toddlers?

She would have her way with him.

K had to make the seven hour drive to Virginia with The Mayor and The Rooster all by himself.

Before Granny's death the mere SUGGESTION of making that drive alone with the children would throw a creepy shiver down our spines.

K called me from Spartanburg.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"I'M IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!" he told me.


At lunch time K searched the exit ramp restaurant offerings for something kid friendly and wound up at Denny's.

[Nasty.]

He herded both children into the restaurant, then to their booth, identified breaded and fried items that they might eat (or at least play with while he ate) and then the waitress came to take their order.

K ordered food and drinks for himself and the kids.

He took a deep breathe and decided everything was going as well as could be expected...

Until the waitress, batting her eyes in feigned innocence, asked,

"Would the kids like those drinks in Rocket Cups? They're $2.99 each."

Before K could say anything, both children were jumping up and down on the booth seats screaming,

"ROCKET CUPS?!! YAY!!! WE WANT ROCKET CUPS!!!"


Cha-ching.

The waitress smugly marked her little pad. Yes, rocket cups.

I call a foul.


88 comments:

Misty said...

I wonder if their staff meetings are something like: "Sue, your rocket cup sales are down and I am putting you on probation! To those of you who sell the most rocket cups, you get to keep all of your tips and I will match them dollar for dollar!"

ugh...

Family Adventure said...

I'm surprised she even bothered to mention the price. She knew it was a done deal.

This has happened to us so many times, it's not funny. And they insist on bringing those silly cups home, never to ask for them again. Grr.

- Heidi

Sunshine said...

I don't think hubby has taken the four kiddos out to eat by himself EVER.

I think he'd take a firing squad first.

Wendy said...

He should have left her no tip and told her he spent all his money on rocket cups.

I hate people that do this and they should all be puinshed by being in a room full of kids that were promised cake, ice cream and rocket cups, but didn't get them yet.

painted maypole said...

dang! I'd lower her tip by $6 for that one! ;) make HER pay for the rocket cups!

Julie Pippert said...

LOL!

I have four rocket cups in my cabinet from similar forms of Denny waitress extortion. I was also in Denny's under duress.

Give my sympathy to K.

Perhaps when you see him you can greet him in his preferred equivalent of a park ranger uniform?

(And loads of sympathy about your granny. Seriously and sincerely. I'm so so sorry.)

Julie
Using My Words

Julie Pippert said...

Okay the "duress" part was "extenuating circumstances" as in solo parenting for prolonged period of time and losing my ever-loving mind.

I actually like taking the kids to Denny's sometimes because it's cheap and they love that crap.

In fact I wrote an entire blog post once in defense of Denny's.

Just saying.

LOL

Julie
Using My Words

Bon said...

evil abounds. rocket cups, my ass. that's just wrong.

and a seven-hour trip, huh? wowsers. i know people do this regularly, but my child screams with horror after about forty minutes in the car, so i'm quite befuddled by the whole prospect.

sympathies to all in your house, for struggles mundane and losses life-changing, both.

PunditMom said...

TOTAL foul! That must come straight from the Denny's "Kids Out With the Dad" handbook.

Mary Alice said...

2.99 each? Yep, I too would taken the $6.00 out of her tip and written on the ticket...
"here's a TIP don't ever ask about Rocket cups in front of the children if you don't want your OWN tip to pay for them"
and then I would have added a smiley face.

Hetha said...

I just loved the opening sentence on this post. I actually read it, then my screen flickered, so before I could finish the post I had that sentence to think about. I thought she was going to put the moves on him, I mean he's a fox! LOL!

Mamma said...

I've suffered from that exact ploy myself.

bitches...

Meg said...

I worked in restaurants for about a bazillion years, I can't even imagine saying something like that, sales be damned.

I always offered the kids water, milk and juice (and a lot of the parents would look like I was crazy and order their kids mountain dew), I would never, not once, suggest desert. If mom and dad want the kids to have that crap, they can bring it up.

That waitress should be shot.

3carnations said...

Rocket cups? Denny's is the only restaurant that doesn't PROVIDE drinks with their kid's meals. We actually bring our son milk when we go there. Take that.

And yeah, she could be a little more subtle with the upselling. Maybe point to them in the menu. "Should I put the drinks in THESE?" (pointing). At which point K could say "Put their drinks in spinach lined cups? No thanks." Then the kids would cheer for HIM. :)

Karen Forest said...

You've gotta love it!

Above Average Joe said...

If the cups kept them occupied thru dinner, wouldnt $2.99/ea be worth it?

furiousBall said...

Dude, I want a rocket cup. Seriously, there's no flying cars, but they can make rocket cups... oh, it's just.. it only looks like a rocket? oh

Momish said...

That's is just so wrong on so many levels. She surely was a young sprite with no dependants. Poor K.

g-man said...

"Rocket cups? Are you sure kids? It will make your drink taste like spinach, if you want the spinach then go ahead. "

(I can never think that kind of thing up fast enough and I too end up with the rocket cup that will inevitably end up a warped pile of goo the first go-round in the dishwasher).

Blue Momma said...

Ok, I want a rocket cup, but the closest Denny's is 68 miles away.

I don't want one that bad.

I'm sorry about your Granny. Mine has just been through a really hard time and I feared for the worst for her. So sorry.

Two Shews said...

OMG. Denny's is the devil. Remember what happened to us there?
http://twoshews.blogspot.com/2007/04/welcome-to-blue-springs-where-is-your.html

Annie said...

I would have paid twice that just to keep things running smoothly and get outta there asap!

Jan said...

Rocket cups are highly overrated. And they mostly sit in your cupboard after your Denny's exprience.

Jenny Ryan said...

Oh, the evil :P

Karly said...

I must be weird, but I LOVE Dennys. I also love the spaceship (as my kids call them) cups. I'm retarded.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

That sneaky waitress. Foul indeed.

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

LOL!

But did it keep the kids contained for 2.5 seconds?

I think not!

The Van Goat Ranch said...

First it's rocket cups, then the next thing you know it's hot fudge brownie sundaes. Don't let these people continue to perpetrate their evil! They must be stopped at all costs!!!!!!

Shannon said...

F*cking waitress. What an opportunist.

My husband feels K's pain. He took the 3 of them to VA (9 hours) to visit his family (I absolutely refused to go after the trip we took 4 yrs ago). Everytime I called there was:
Bumper to bumper traffic
vomit episode
numerous bathroom stops (on side of road).

I was soooo happy I wasn't with them.

Lyssa Ireland Thomas said...

May she rot in heck!

Hope you're doing better.

Tabba said...

yes. the f*cking rocket cups.

we have those two.....up-sold and out-smarted by two kids and a waitress at Denny's.

It was a weak moment. Two, actually.
One for even going to Denny's.
Two for even buying those f*cking rocket cups.

Patience said...

Yep, those Rocket Cups would have definitely been her tip for the day!!

Alpha DogMa said...

No tip for HER!

Oooh. Denny's! He was desperate.

CableGirl said...

Wow! Serious foul! So not fair. he didn't stand a chance.

Holly said...

Poor guy!

I'm sorry about your grandma.

BOSSY said...

That's more than a foul, that's Game Called On Account Of Illegal Gambling.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

THAT was a cheap shot!

Victoria said...

$2.99, huh? I make (regular, sometimes monthly) TWELVE hour EACH WAY trips with my kids. I'd pay more than $2.99 for a little kids-are-content-edness. =)

Come to think of it, my Hubby has never made that trek with the kiddos. Hmmm.

b*babbler said...

Ooh. That was a bitchy move on her part.

I second (third, tenth) those who came before, $6 off the tip. Rocket cups my ass!

flutter said...

I would have thrown them at her when they were done.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

the folks around these parts are nicer. They spell what they want to offer my kids. "Can I give them a piece of c-a-n-d-y?" and then my 1st grader sits there and thinks a bit inside her head...since she can read and spell now...and eventually, when we are home, yells "they were gonna give us candy! how come you didnt let us have candy!!!?

Kyla said...

Did they at least keep the kiddos quiet and happy for a bit? There are many times that I wouldn't mind shelling out 6 bucks for a little peace and quiet.

Hol&J said...

No tip for you!
(Spoken in the voice of the "Soup Nazi" from Sienfield.)

http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=kNwbjcuQUv8

Cathy said...

I'm sure my (blissful) ignorance is obvious when I ask —

What the hell are rocket cups?

Regardless. That waitress? Clearly evil.

mimikatemom said...

heh. K. Been there.

The secret?

Magical DVD players that pop out of the sky. Or the ceiling of the craptastic mommymobile, at least.

And Benadryl. [did I say that out loud?]

*I KNOW, I KNOW...no cold meds for kids...* But the temptation is there just the same...

~JJ! said...

I hate when they pawn the crappy stuff on you.

And they saw him coming a mile away too!

Well, now you have rocket cups.

Nancy said...

Blech to Dennys and I agree, $6 would have been HER contribution to the meal via her tip.

McDonalds gives that crap away free, lol

Rusti said...

Dirty little sneak!!! She sure had his number eh? I like the comments about using her tip to pay for the rocket cups... score one for them!

You know, other than the decorative holiday glasses at Arby's and such around Christmas time - I don't recall ever getting those type of cups when I was younger... unless they perhaps came with a Happy Meal ;) who knows - maybe they didn't have them back then?

stella said...

preying on the innocent/vulnerable. she should be ashamed of herself.

WILLIAM said...

I dated a girl once with Rocket Cups...She was very popular.

Little Nut Tree said...

outrageous :o)

nell said...

Oh I hate hate hate when waitresses or anyone does that. Especially when you can tell they know what they're doing.

Deb said...

Evil. But in the same breath, I would sometimes pay multiples of that for a quiet dinner.

Momo Fali said...

Dang that Denny's upsell!

carrie said...

They need to teach them not to do that in waitress school.

Lisa said...

Gah.

Mental note: Denny's is evil.

Veronica said...

That was a low act.

liv said...

I feel deeply that God will exact revenge on that woman. But, think of it this way: You weren't there. AND at least she didn't offer them coloring books and Sharpies for the drive.

Stimey said...

We have one of those rocket cups. My mom got one and sent it to me. She had offered to buy three but I stupidly declared that, "Oh, no, they have to learn to share. You don't have to go back to buy two more."

Biiiiiiiig mistake.

Erica said...

I know I would really delight in this if it were my husband, but should I not enjoy it so much because it's yours? You just let me know and I'll take the peals of laughter back. I swear.
And also, Rocket cups actually do make it all better. I swear. 6 bucks well spent, I say.

Jo Beaufoix said...

How annoying.
I hate it when that happens.
When Mr B takes the kids anywhere without me he always seems to get suckered into stuff, but to be honest, it's often from them...

Mummy aways lets us have that...

motherbumper said...

Don't worry, karma will come back and get her in the form of the nastiest customer ever (Karma will also probably leave a lousy tip). And then it will run over her dogma.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

I hope HER TIP was used to pay for those two cups.

Janet said...

Evil comes in many forms.

A waitress from Denny's is the third most common.

Rock the Cradle said...

"Fine. Sold. Rocket Cups instead of a tip."

GOOD idea.

Pendullum said...

My ecomonics teacher used to point out how the candy was at toddler level in the check out...
Obviously this waitress had my late economics teacher and took his evil lessonsto heart...

Aliki2006 said...

We have a HUGE stack of various ridiculous plastic cups in our cabinet.

Foul indeed.

Dory said...

That lady has a special reservation in hell with "Bitchy Waitress" mask taped onto the seat.

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

I hope he left food crumbs and crap all over the place! Damn waitress.

Erin said...

Oh we have the rocket cups too...and acquired them under very similar circumstances--6 hour trip and kids who want to look at the menu for themselves. And now, they request them at every meal and snacktime. It did keep them entertained until they fell asleep---at 5:45 pm. I love going places but the travel makes so many "vacations" (can they even be called that when you have three kids?) so not worth it.

Beck said...

I read this out loud to my husband and he cried a little bit, just thinking about it.

slouching mom said...

What a riot!

Avery Gray said...

That waitress was pure evil. Clever, but evil!

tulipmom said...

Poor K. He didn't even have a chance. And that waitress should be ashamed of herself.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

EEEEWWWW, that was evil! I hate when the waitresses ask the kids if they want balloons right when we sit down. Then I proceed to get smacked in the head all through dinner. They don't cost anything like the cup, but they are quite annoying anyway!

deb said...

Up selling at it's finest.

TOM said...

Maybe you would like those Hash Browns smothered and covered?/

Denny's formerly Sambo's and still nasty

jen said...

oh, K. i can totally picture this and can also picture his face right about rocket cup time.

mitzh said...

That was really foul!

That was so lame of Denny's.

Ruth Dynamite said...

Dads are always the ones to fall for these ploys - but maybe that's OK. Who doesn't need a rocket cup, I ask?

Anonymous said...

my cheap hubby would have screamed THERE WILL BE NO ROCKET CUPS...so
actualy you are one lucky women..Also seeing how cute your hubby is...its a wonder she didn't sit down and offer to feed the kids..LOL

mauniejames

Kevin Charnas said...

Couldn't he have replied, "Only if you want your tip in a 'Garbage Cup'"?

Darn it.

mommiebear2 said...

We have to get those damn things every time we go to Denny's, we have a nice collection in our cabinet now.

Lotus Siva Carroll said...

hahaha, Denny's = [Nasty.] Yes.

And, just for the record, this is a situation where it is completely appropriate to punch your waitress in the boob.

Just saying.

imhelendt said...

I am nauseous just thinking of driving 7 hours with two toddlers by myself.

Ok, so here's what I do in those situations. I say "EW! You don't want rocket cups! Those cups are yucky. They fell in the toilet." Then I glare at the waitress and say "We don't drink out of cups from the toilet." Then a stern glare lets the waitress know two can play her game AND I will knock her out if she opens her mouth again. I have gotten out of buying many a thing by using the "Yucky/Germy" thing or some variation of that. I can convince my kids they don't want lots of things. :D

Damselfly said...

Then in a few months, you can call a yard sale.

Lotta said...

Nasty girl!

The Holmes said...

Oh now that's just wrong! No tip!