"Oh, delicious oranges!" I exclaim and pretend to pluck one.
[This is just an excuse to give the toddler butt cheeks a squeeze.]
The Mayor and The Rooster squeal with laughter and defend their hinds."No, Mommy! These are MY oranges!!"
So this morning when The Rooster caught me, Joyzilla: Terrifying Naked Woman, walking to the shower I was not surprised to hear her yell,"ORANGES!!"
She charged towards me with her teeny tiny pincer hands and managed to capture my mighty, left butt flap.
"Mommy, I got your oranges!" she said with great self-satisfaction.
"I think we're going to have to call those grapefruits, Roo... or maybe even pomelos."
74 comments:
Best. Photo. Ever.
I've got Honeydews juggling around in my knickers.
I aspire to shrink them to pomelo size.
It's the Chiquita Banana Ho!
ha! now all of your readers will think of your ass cheeks when we buy produce... awesome
I was going to say something oh so clever and similar to Furiousball's comment... Damn.
Dude... I gots watermelons!
oh lord, you are so, so funny.
hope you are well.
miss ya.
Great pic!! Excuse me while I throw away my new bottle of OJ. =)
me...I have pancakes...the flattest ass in the northeast...yet in the front...a watermellon...go figure...having a bad couple of days could anyone send me a hug?
muaniejames3
Glad to see your sense of humor. And I bet they are more like tangerines.
So glad I'm not alone in the pinchy department. I love those squeals.
{I'm not allowed to discuss my produce. I have a good crop, plentiful.}
Ha. Munchkin has been know to pinch her own bum if no one gets to her fast enough during the pre-bath Naked Run Around Time.
And she's dreadfully fascinated by my own naked self. Stops dead in her tracks. Stares. Gingerly reaches out a hand ...
I had oranges once...sigh...two kids ago. Why do they have to ruin everything bodily?
Fantastic picture!!
Please.
I've read all about your victory over the Lady Flabina. I bet they were more like clementines.
- Heidi
I'm like muaniejames3, pancake butt...watermelon front...Ugh! I'd like to even it up a little!
Great pic!
~Steph
P.S. ((((((hugs to muaniejames3)))))))) feel better.
I would kill for grapefruits! Toddler butts are the best, who can resist a bite or a squeeze.
Geez, thanks, now I will not be able to walk through my supermarket produce department without images floating through my head. And as far as driving through those orange and grapefruit groves, well, . . .
Oranges aren't going to look the same for awhile...thanks for the reminder, I'm off to go pinch me some toddler cheeks!
So much sweeter than what we call it at our house. We call it "bacon". As in- "I'm gonna get yer bacon!"
Ok. Maybe it's only funny at our house. hee hee.
-HH
You're going to use that pic for the holiday cards, right? ;)
Love it! The only thing missing from this post is music!
Hope you are doing OK.
Squeeze. (A hug for you...not going after your butt cheeks but my you are tempting!) ;)
I would be happy with grapefruit, I have a couple watermelons like another commenter said. If I walk to fast I think someone is chasing me but nope it's just my butt trying to catch up!
There is just something so addicting about pinching those toddler cheeks. Zoe runs and squeals with glee when I tell her I'm going to get her squooshy tushy. One day I'm afraid that will come back to bite me in the ass.
you must just have a great collection of fun photos with which to photoshop... I am always in awe.
Now... let's just hope your kids don't do this to a stranger...
oh, that's too funny! great headpiece, by the way! ;-)
Bwa ha ha
At least they're not watermelons. Because...that would just be tragic.
Just the image I needed to get me through my day...you and your grapefruits.
You really are a fruit.
Awesome. I'll probably laugh the next time I see an orange.
((hugs)) for muaniejames3
I love the Carmen Miranda Look! Is this going to be your Halloween ensemble as well?
Hee hee.
I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts.
AAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I had something sharp & wonderfully witty to say & it just went away... dammit!
There will NEVER be scurvy at my house.
At least oranges are firm. You don't want to hear what the kids call my midsection....
You going as Carmen Miranda for Halloween?
Pomelos. Now there's a nice mental image.
I think Chiquita Bananas will be calling on you annnnny time now. lol
So, do you fart those wonderful citrus Airborne tablets?? You know, that fizz in your water?
my kids try and get a poke in every now and then...then they look down their shirts and ask when they are gonna get some boobe
Love that picture!
Those itty bitty little toddler butts are just the cutest ever! (sigh... I miss that age.)
Have seen you in person... You are what? A whopping size 4? Oranges. Definitely.
I second other bloggers' suggestions... You should totally go as Carmen for Halloween. :-)
Oh sweet jesus on a picnic that picture is money.
Carmen Miranda ain't got nuttin on you
Oh Carmen, what luscious oranges you sport.
Oh great.. now you are going to think I'm hittin' on you again. It's just I can't help myself - the set up is too hard to resist.
Funniest post I've read here.
That is too funny! (I love pinchin' those little butt cheeks too.) Cute post. See ya.
We call butt cheeks "crackers" in this house, and my kids LOVE to grab em!
Your Photoshop skills continue to amaze.
Me, I'm in the melon category.
Ha!
Is that a banana in your hat or...
Sweet little butt pinches are the best.
I remember the day Big A told me it wasn't appropriate anymore. Yikes!
Will be thinking of you in the produce section; wishing I had more orange and less, well, quick, name a flat fruit.
oh, you have fruit. we have bootie bongos.
Great photo!
you are truly a fruitcake - and i mean that in the best possible way. love the hat. :)
Orange you glad Bossy isn't going to leave some stupid Pun comment again?
My husband told me tonight that thanks to my recent weight loss exertions, my pomelos were looking rather shrunken. Grand.
Snort! Mine are oranges, but only for the accurate texture. So, really, giant oranges.
Never, ever look in the bathroom mirror at your hiney while squeezing. Ah! Squeeze. Get it?
I'm a dork.
Now there's a blast from the past.
cheers
The texture of an orange may be an okay comparison (for my hiney), all rough and dimpley. But the size, no no.
My orange-flavored milkshakes used to bring all the boys to the yard, but I guess they're allergic to my new melons.
I got some Miracle-Gro sized watermelons traipsing around behind me. I'm hoping there's another baby in there.
On second thought, no. I'd rather have watermelons.
Too funny : )
Can I tell you how relieved I am to know that I'm not the only nekkid-butt-pinchin' mama out there. I can't get enough of squeezin' the baby's butt.
Yeah, yeah, I've started a therapy fund. For him.
Grapefruit lady, lol.
little tiny plums, babe. little tiny plums.
Alas, I have flapjacks. I am SO jealous of anyone who has any ROUNDED fruit.
Hysterical picture. And post.
i don't even know which fruit my butt assembles... and I don't want to think about it either. But I've probably got a couple of watermelons back there. *sigh*
You are so hot.
Ha! No cheek is safe!
Oh... my... laughing - see... the story... and the picture... and the calling the bum by fruits.... well, I got to the end, looking at the photo and though, "But can she wear her ass for a hat?"
Ahhh. Sorry.
I love this! My baby has cookies, my daughter has biscuits, my son has a muffin butt. I have loaves of bread, my husband, alas, ain't got no butt, no butt, R ain't got no butt!!
My kids and I say this all the time. Hubs just rolls his eyes and smiles...
Fun to know that there is another family out there with fruit instead of bread! LOL!
How's about some cantaloupes? ;) Carmen Miranda had the right idea....
Funny post!
I'm hoping this next baby has a pinchable tush. SB inherited his dad's tushless tush. Totally flat. The poor kid can barely keep his pants up.
My son plays the bongos on my butt cheeks. He loves it because they jiggle so much. Each time he does it, he exclaims, "This is more fun than video games!"
BubTar calls boobs "apples". What is it with fruit euphemisms?
Love the picture!
Jess, I thought of you this weekend. In our house, I pick his "peaches" at the top of his "trees" (legs) after his bath. This weekend, after I picked his peaches he said, "Mama eat my peaches!". I think that may well be the new equivalent to "kiss my grits".
we don't use food euphemisms-we call 'em butt guns. my hubs used to sling pooka over his shoulder and 'shoot' me with her farts.
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