Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Giddyup!

“How did everything go?” I asked the babysitter.

“It was… uh…interesting,” she told me.


I called a babysitter on Friday and miraculously produced a last minute date night for K and I.

[We saw Lars and the Real Girl… who knew a film about a guy who orders a sex doll for companionship could be so completely endearing?!!]

Anyway,
a few months back I picked up a giant stuffed horse on suspenders at one of those church consignment sales.

[Don't ask, don't tell, Church Lady!]

Squeezing one ear made the horse neigh and squeezing the other made “clippity clop” sounds.

[Which transported me immediately to Monty Python’s Holy Grail and I was sold.]

You pull the horse suspenders over your head and, “Viola!” you are mounted.

[You are MOUNTED. Heh, heh.]

Ahem.

“Cowboy,” I thought. "The Mayor will be a cowboy for Halloween."


I figured I could squeeze in one final year of making the costume decision for him if I hid the horse in the closet and waited until the week of Halloween to pull it out. I knew I’d skate by on the novelty of the thing.

However, I was not prepared for the “costume” The Mayor would bring to the cowboy role.

Upon further grilling the babysitter we learned that the instant we left the house, The Mayor took off all of his clothes and refused to wear anything but the horse on suspenders.

The Mayor galloped around the house nude for the better part of an hour before the babysitter lost her mind and wrestled him into a pair of underpants which she insisted he wear at the very least.

Perhaps the kiddie bubble bath by
jack-o-lantern candlelight the other night wasn't such a good idea...

Mmmmmm, Halloween. I don't know what it is... it just makes me want to get all naked!

Tonight should be interesting.

Giddyup!

73 comments:

Jenny the Bloggess said...

Am I really the first to comment? How bizarre.

Jenny said...

Ooh. Sorry. I was so shocked at there not being 68 people ahead of me I forgot to write my real comment which was:

I totally know the feeling. I had to slap my first censored bar on my blog today. Halloween and flashing go hand in hand.

dawn224 said...

hopefully he never wants to wear daddy's Park Ranger outfit...

Family Adventure said...

But more importantly...is she will to come back for another babysitting session?

Happy Halloween...you'll have to let us know how it went tomorrow. :)

Heidi

slouching mom said...

The Mayor is clearly your child. Heh.

hello insomnia said...

Naked horse riding? Sounds like a good time to me!

Caro said...

hilarious!

MommyMommy said...

very funny!!! Happy halloween!

TX Poppet said...

Too darn cute! Glad you liked the movie, I was on the fence about going to see it. Now I will.

Patience said...

Wha! No picture?!?

Yeah, well, I get nekkid everytime I wear my horse suspenders too. YeeHaw!

MamaLee said...

Are those 2 empty halves of a coconut you got there?

Nice to know that your son takes after...ugh, er... his parents?

lol

Jenifer said...

Oh the chafing! I hope tonight goes well and everyone enjoys the ride. ;)

nell said...

I think it's nice to start new family traditions, like taking baths by jack-o-lantern light and creating a lifelong love of Halloween nudity. It will serve him well later in life, keep things interesting!

TZT said...

There must have been that Halloween something in the air on Friday. My neighbors watched our son while we went to a concert, and he apparently resolutely refused to wear pants or diapers the entire evening.

Thankfully, they seemed more concerned that I might be upset by this than they were about it. Party on Noody Lane!

Lisa Milton said...

Oh, rookie move. NEVER scare the babysitter away with the nekkid. They are holy creatures.

Happy halloween, joyous ones. I'm sure you'll whoop it up.

Thalia's Child said...

Awww. A little Lord Godiva!

JoeinVegas said...

Please, if you have that impulse come trick or treating at my door. At least bring the mayor in costume, what, Brokeback Mountain?

susiej said...

I hope she comes back!! How interesting. Babysitters are like... gold?

Jennifer said...

Oh, The Naked Joys.

Guilty Secret said...

Giddyup indeed!

wordgirl said...

For once in my life I'd like it to be cold enough on Halloween so that nudity was discouraged. I need real fall weather more than I need to get nekkid.

Taste Like Crazy said...

I'm with Patience. No pictures?! ;)

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

Oh that is too funny!

SouthernBell said...

No denying that kid, huh?
Come take my poll.

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

You my friend must be a soul sister.

Halloween brings out the crazy naked lady in me too.

Not that crazy is that hard to achieve in these parts.

Candygirlflies said...

So, you'll be Lady Godiva this evening, then? Once the kids are in bed, I mean...

Trick-or-treat...

xo CGF

ALM said...

You totally have to post photos!

mamaDB said...

Ha!

This reminds me of the scene in Parenthood (Steve Martin) when Steve's family is getting ready for bed and the 3 year old puts on a gun holster and hat and nothing else. I think it is the cowboy way.

*~*Cece*~* said...

I guess I've been reading your blog long enough that I knew where this was heading! lol

carrie said...

Happy Halloween Jess and famiy!

furiousBall said...

that's bareback riding.

Above Average Joe said...

I think the Naked Cowboy thing is already taken by some guy in NY City.

newnorth said...

lol, she had to have gotten a laugh at least!

Geologychick said...

too cool!

Moi said...

Me too! Love this holiday so much it may be classified as inappropriate.

Heidi Hyde said...

Clip-clop indeed! Yee-haw! Happy Halloween to you!

-HH

Redneck Mommy said...

I think I must be sex starved.

All I heard was cowboy, mounted and nekkid.

I'm thinking I need a halloween treat and not of the sugary variety.

cronznet said...

In pagan circles we have a character, The Hobby Horse, who is clad exactly as was your delightful Mayor. Part (though by no means all) of the Hobby Horse's job at celebrations is to remind people to have fun--of every kind, not just the consenting adult kind. Seems like The Mayor is plugged into the collective consciousness!

Honeybell said...

Don't you love opening up your house and children's idiosyncrasies to unsuspecting babysitters? Goofy Boy was 4 when he emerged from my bedroom informing the sitter that "My mom ALWAYS lets me wear this". He spent the rest of the night wearing my Victoria's Secret teddy.

Nancy said...

Cowboy is out Centaur is in =)

Worker Mommy said...

So funny...did you take pictures to blackmail him with in his teenage years ?

Bon said...

the horse costume fascinates me...perhaps you could coax some underpants on the child and post a photo?

(your family does OWN underpants, yes?)

if not, well, happy hallowe'enie!

Damselfly said...

Well, if I had a naked trick-or-treater, I'd just have to give him extra candy!

3carnations said...

Oh my. I can't decide if that makes him a naked cowboy, or a genuine horse.

allrileyedup said...

Something tells me that it's not just Halloween that makes you want to get all naked.

motherbumper said...

Thank you for explaining why I have a naked pirate in the house.

BTW - Bumper is going to be a lady bug, so I'm still concerned about the naked pirate - but at least I know why the pirate is naked.

Happy Hallowe'en - hope you get mounted!

Kimberly said...

PLEASE POST PICTURES! I gotta see this!

Serina Hope said...

Who doesn't want to get nekkid and ride a horse for Halloween? I hope you guys have a great night, both while clothed and naked.

moosh in indy. said...

Heaven knows I was ten kinds of naked last night.
GIDDYUP!

Avery Gray said...

Every day is naked day at the Gray house! Halloween just makes it super festive!

Beck said...

Having actually ridden a horse, there are fewer things I would rather not do naked, thank you.

Kyla said...

That Mayor, he is too funny. Riding bareback, eh?

Paige said...

I'll know something's in the air if husband asks me to touch his monkey...which is what Avery will be this year.

A primate, I mean. Not the other thing.

Kellan said...

Such a cute post - have a Happy Halloween. See ya.

Veronica said...

That is too funny. I can imagine how the babysitter felt.

jakelliesmom said...

In some of our more interesting neighborhoods, that would be costume enough. Probably not for kids though, at least not if they're leaving the house.

Enjoy the treats!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

what? no pictures to blackmail him with later?

flutter said...

Got yourself a little flasher on your hands!

liv said...

Maybe I should have mentioned AGES ago that I never, but NEVER, ask how "things went."

Jozet said...

He should at least wear chaps.

I hope it's not too cold where you are tonight, lol

Scribbit said...

What are you teaching that boy??? :)

I'm still giggling from pictures of your anniversary. . .

Lawyer Mama said...

I can't wait to hear the stories!

BOSSY said...

You, miss, are too much. Way.

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

Rawr!

Lisa said...

I can't wait to hear how Halloween night goes!

I'm with family adventure....Is she willing to come back to babysit again? heehee.

Cakabaker said...

Love the costumes!! Kids are so much fun aren't they? I'll bet the babysitter will come back, just to see what the Mayor will do next :)
My hubby chose the trick last night instead of the treat :)Giddyup!

Amanda said...

Hmm, giving old Harry Potter a run for his Equus fame, eh?

JCK said...

I can just picture it! My kids LOVE being naked. Interesting concept...being naked for Halloween.

painted maypole said...

buck naked bareback riding. there's a t-shrit there, I think.

Ruth Dynamite said...

And when he's all grown up, his wife will harbor inexplicable fantasies about him dressing up in a cowboy outfit. Um hmmm. Yessiree!

Kevin Charnas said...

Is this unusal behavior? 'Cause I'm thinkin'...no. Not in our house, anyway.

You tell that babysitter that I said that she needs a drink...or at least whatever the Mayor is having.

Jill said...

Hey-We saw Lars and the Real Girl last week. Loved it. So sweet. I only wish I had a community of people who love me the way they love Lars.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Neeeeeddy.