Monday, September 24, 2007

On Their Knees

K finally returned to The Joy Homestead Friday night and he offered to release me from the short beasts so I could go see a movie.

What I really wanted to do was
take a shower and finish watching the BBC Bleak House miniseries on dvd.

[Oh, what a WILD THING I am.
I can't deny it.]

K willingly granted me shower time.

[The blessed man.]


I took one of those loooooonnnnng, "I am going to MILK this" showers.


When I came out of the bathroom, K and the children were on their hands and knees scrubbing the floor with rags and drying it with old towels.


On their hands and knees.

Scrubbing. The. Floor.

"Daddy got a wild hair, huh guys?" I say.

Rooster yelled, "DADDY GOT A WILD HAIR!"

The floors gleamed.

"I thought we needed to do a productive activity together," K said.

Later, after the wee ones were in bed, he turned to me to say,

"I'd like to take a day to de-clutter the house."

The man melts my butter.

71 comments:

Super B's Mom said...

What if she scrubbed the floors while wearing the Park Ranger uniform?

Hubba Hubba.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Where did you find him? I was unaware that they made men who cleaned without being told or could even grasp the concept of clutter??!!??

b*babbler said...

Can you loan him out? Please? Even just so he can coach my husband a little bit?

Think of the cash you could make!

Shannon said...

What's up with K's nesting? Is he pregnant or something?

slouching mom said...

OH MY GOD HE DID NOT OFFER TO DE-CLUTTER!

(could you send him my way after he stops by b*babbler's place?)

Jackie said...

Wanna trade? Just for like a weekend...

JoeinVegas said...

I am impressed. You are training him well.

Lisa Milton said...

A ranger that declutters? You picked a good man.

{Clutter has me on my knees right now. In a non-sexy way. Ack.}

liv said...

"take a day to declutter the house"

are you shitting me? are you sure he wasn't away being programmed?

SouthernBell said...

Uh, what's going on with him? Or, what did he do?

~JJ! said...

Yes, he is perfect.

Jen M. said...

He was just trying to get into your pants.

Anonymous said...

i'm totally jealous. i'd gladly pay him money to be a good example to my husband.


by the way have you seen the coffee table book Porn for Women? It's hot guys vacuuming and cleaning and the like. It's hilarious.
urban urchin

leendaluu said...

oohhh. My husband will clean the house but would never let me go to a movie by myself...you are so so so lucky.

Kyla said...

Is he nesting? LOL.

Misty Dawn said...

Wow! This is obviously a fiction post - right? I mean, husbands like this don't really exist, do they?

flutter said...

Dude. that is HAWT.

zellmer said...

"Take a day to de-clutter?"
This is my dream come true. Something my husband would never say in a gazillion years. His man eyes don't even have the ability to see clutter.
You got a good one, honey.
My husband is going to Vegas for the weekend to bet on football. Who's jealous of that?

Taste Like Crazy said...

You know, Tucker's spoken similar words but he usually ends up on the couch playing video games. :)

Christina said...

Any guy that will scrub the floors AND convince the kids it's fun to do is a keeper. Almost a "lock him away so no one else can find him" keeper.

PunditMom said...

Would he like an all expense paid trip to my neck of the woods? You are one lucky woman. You know -- I bet he'd wear that ranger outfit for you while he's de-cluttering! ;)

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

My husband will NEVER utter those words. He is a bad ass cook, though, so I can't complain.

But the family floor scrubbing is PRICELESS I tell you! ;)

Short beasts...tee hee.

JamesMommy said...

Right now, I hate you. Why? Pure jealousy. This compare and contrast this to my Saturday morning. Hubby to son, "Hey! Let's go to the park so mommy can clean." My response, "Oh, that sounds nice and fair."

Patience said...

De-clutter?!? If I even whispered that word my husband would go into sobbing hysterics! He would wrap his arms around all his stuff and cry "No! I need all my stuff!!!"

carrie said...

What a gem!

I'd let my husband do that and he'd throw all my stuff away!

Above Average Joe said...

"I thought we needed to do a productive activity together,"

You didn't believe him, did you.

Hello??? You mentioned in the last post that your, Ahem, "monthly time is coming". He was just looking for one last roll before Aunt Flo came.

katy said...

Patience and I must have married twins separated at birth. Truthfully. I love your hubby and don't even know him. I did come home one time to my niece and daughter cleaning the floor with sponges tied to their feet, but they were cleaning it with dawn, which took a good 3 days to get off the floor.
Forget the ranger uniform, get him an apron.

Amy said...

Too funny! Mine will de-clutter quarterly, but guess who does the cluttering in the first place? You guessed it! He finds places to stack crap (junk mail, papers he's never going to read, magazines, sometimes a bill) I'd never even think of.

Sayre said...

I love my guy, but the declutter thing is da woo!!!! You should be counting your blessings - like I count mine!

Circus Kelli said...

Oh good GOD. Seriously. K has to have Hubby and the clowns over for a crash course in "how to pamper Mom" or something like that...

painted maypole said...

after he declutters your house will he declutter mine?

BOSSY said...

Bossy has a fried liver for your melted butter.

BOSSY said...

But wait - there's something called the BBC Bleak House miniseries and Bossy doesn't know about it?

(Bossy was going to add more ????? for emphasis)

Catizhere said...

Weird.
Since I am the Gemini in the family, apparently, I count as 2 people.
Hence when Joe say things like "We need to get organized" or "We need to clean out that basement",
I am the "we" portion of his statements.

Mrs. Chicky said...

He can come de-clutter my house anytime. As long as he promises to clean my floors too. Rwaar.

Jennifer said...

If he ever feels the need to tackle a real challenge, send him my way!

Lawyer Mama said...

He has melted my butter too.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY???? Wow.

Anonymous said...

WOW! I'm drooling. My husband does many wonderful things for me, but clutter is not a concept he understands.
If I were to say "Let's declutter,", I'd get that glossy eyed, blank stare.
Hold on to him!

Lisa said...

Awwww. Can we clone him?

(I'm just happy when my husband turns on the exhaust fan when he has a Bm so he doesn't stink up the house. Yeah, he's a regular prince charming, that one.)

Rimarama said...

See, he doesn't even need a park ranger outfit!

Mary Alice said...

Okay, maybe it's just me....in fact, I am sure it IS me actually, judging by all the drooling comments....buuuuttttt...I would be a little offended if my husband came home and started cleaning the house and offering to declutter. I would wonder just what the H-E- double hockey stick he meant by that...I would wonder if he was saying I'm a dirty mess? Y'all have a much healthier attitude than I do, obviously! He should realize HE is lucky to have YOU...because you thought that was hawt and I would have NOT!

Maddux & Eli's Mom said...

Please let me know if you ever want to divorce this man, or at the very least, loan him out...

furiousBall said...

you know that makes him a butter melter?

Worker Mommy said...

I bet I can guess what happened after that ;)

Audubon Ron said...

I always suspected you were the whips and leather boots type.

Alley Cat said...

Maybe you can get him to teach a husband class or something?

Biddy said...

please oh please, let me clone your husband.

and ask him if he'll do the cleaning in his park ranger uniform...to double your pleasure!

The Sour Kraut said...

The Swede does that same thing. Only in more of a lay-on-the-couch-watching-sports-all-day -long kind of way.

Queeny said...

Now that's dreamy! Boy, do I envy you.

Momish said...

I am so jealous.

Annie said...

I know what it is to be married to a man that can clean, and it's a wonderful thing!

Ally said...

Holy cow. Where did you get this man? Declutter? Could there be a better foreplay?

QT said...

Hey woman - just catching up on all your posts. I hope the Rooster is feeling better, and I am SO on the same page as you with the FAT PANTS!!

As for your man, well, quit rubbing it in already!!!

Wendy said...

Where did he go? Can I send my husband to be reprogrammed? Spill the beans, woman.

Loralee Choate said...

Ehem.

I watched "Bleak House" this week. In England.

It was fabulous. :)

Hetha said...

We want pictures, of K, in the park ranger uniform, de-cluttering the house.

Jenifer said...

I'm still thinking about fat pants...the pain I am in right now...

Anyhoo. Yeah a man who likes to scrub is my kind of man.

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

I would never let my husband de-clutter, he'd throw out everything in the house that you couldn't sit on!

But cool for you, b/c this works for you guys.

FENICLE said...

Oh, clone that man!!!!!!!!!!!

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

I think my husband would have to come down with a case of Bi-Polar to volunteer to clean.

tulipmom said...

At the risk of sounding like a whiny jealous brat ....

That's just NOT fair!

Why can't D. be a cleaner like that? Who am I kidding? The man doesn't even know how to operate our dishwasher.

Serina Hope said...

My Gosh, but aren't you the lucky girl. The only thing better would be him cleaning in the Park Ranger costume, no? Well, then he probably woudn't get much cleaning done...

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

That's hawt.

Major Bedhead said...

Can you clone him? Please? I'll take two, if you do.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

He's a keeper!!!

Mama's Moon said...

Now I gotta change my panties!! "melts my butter", you crack me up!!

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Just popped by from FuelMyBlog -hmmm "the man melts my butter" - he can cook as well - that's very good.

Daddy Papersurfer said...

You get an awful lot of comments - are they friendly or just from the deranged? I only ask for research purposes. They sound reasonably normal but you can never tell
Feel free to ignore me - thank you

kellypea said...

We can have a get together. K can scrub floors, and my MoH will do laundry. He cooks my bacon.

wayabetty said...

This is from a man who fried bacon naked!! He's definitely a keeper OTJ!!

The Expatriate Chef said...

Oh my. That's better than sex. Yes, I am that desperate. And jealous.