Thursday, September 20, 2007

Flying Solo

K is away at a conference for three days.

Yesterday The Rooster still had the croup and The Mayor woke up with a slight temperature.

I thought I should keep him home from school but it was a field trip day and the mere mention of missing school made him sob.


I decided to liquor him up with Vitamin I, send him to school and check on him at lunch time.

Apparently, he was fine.

When I picked him up we loitered in the school yard.

[Why hurry home to my PARENTAL SOLITUDE?]

The Mayor was riding a tricycle when suddenly he stood up crying and yelling about how much his belly hurt.

I asked my standard tummy ache related question:


“Is there a poopie coming?”

[All hail my incredible nursing skills!!]


He told me no and kept crying.

Hmmmm.

I carried him to the car, much to The Rooster’s consternation, and we drove home.

When we arrived, The Mayor did something I have never seen him do...

He went to his room, got in his bed and stayed there. Quietly.

Oh NO, I thought. Something must be really, really wrong with my boy!

What shall I do?

Look to the left.

Look to the right.

Scratch head.

THINK WOMAN!

Let's see, the pediatrician's office is already closed...it's just after 5:00.

Wait... it’s 5:00 in the afternoon?!

He can’t go to sleep.

[I did the quick math.]




I realized that If he went to sleep he’d wake up at 3:00 in the morning.

EMERGENCY MEASURES NEEDED TO BE TAKEN!!

I called to him…

“Mayor, want to watch Maisy?”

Up from the bed popped The Mayor.

Oh,
miraculous child healer, the fair Maisy!






There was a great watching of the verboten, evil box of television.

We all ate beef jerky and goldfish for dinner (foods known to sooth upset stomachs everywhere!)

Two children of joy went to bed on time.

Crying, begging for drinks and last minute potty visiting did not occur.

And there was peace in the land.


By the way... is it me or does Charlie have a few too many before filming?




49 comments:

Hetha said...

I'm home alone all with with Eboy and we are both under the weather. I'm horizontal parenting in a way that would make you proud!

Lawyer Mama said...

Holden is sick now too & there has been much illicit watching of annoying cartoons.

Blog Antagonist said...

ROFL...my kid is almost 13 and I still ask him the poopie question when he says he has a stomach ache. It's universal, I think.

Anonymous said...

Hubby had the stomach thing the other night...we got a sausage pizza...it was so terrific...I kept eating while he was heaving in the upstairs bathroom...did not effect my dinner at all...he kept saying it's the pizza...I kept saying not the pizza...I ate the rest for breakfast...I still ask everyone the poopy question...did he throw? mauniejames3

Amy said...

I always freak out a bit when Shark Boy lays down in bed like that too.

Charlie has a huge creep-factor. No question.

Shannon said...

Poor Rooster, the croup stinks. Maryn got it a couple of times...

JamesMommy said...

Funny, my husband recently said, "It's not very nice that Charlie makes fun of retarded people." Hope the everyone is feeling better today.

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

I always ask about the poop, too! Must be what our moms did. Sometimes when my husband isn't home all things go smoother. I don't know why.

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

Ah, yes, Charlie's a bit freaky...

I can't keep a straight face when Miffy is on (aside from HER name)... there is a thing (pig?) named "Grunty."

Lisa Milton said...

I just like to say 'Tallulah', like the narrator. Well, at least I used to. Now we've moved on to too much Nick.

Is it wrong to hate little odd fairies like I do?

Magpie said...

Come over and teach my kid how to go to sleep, please?

Beef jerky AND goldfish for dinner? Wow.

And I didn't know to ask if poop was coming vis a vis a stomachache. Learn something every day.

Patience said...

I hope Mayor is okay! When I was a kid, being sick meant watching whatever I wanted on tv and drinking Dr. Pepper. So it wasn't always a bad thing to be sick!

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

You are so funny. Your photoshop skillz are to die for.

I hope everyone feels better soon!

tulipmom said...

I agree about Charlie. Frankly that whole show drives me a little berserk and I'm wondering just how much longer S.B. plans on watching it.

Beef jerky and goldfish, huh? Now I don't have to feel so bad about serving a ton of spaghettios and fish sticks lately thanks to my being stuck with my head over a bucket most of the time.

SusieJ said...

We were sick last week. In some ways it's nice -- they don't run around and tear everything up. But, it is exhausting.

urban-urchin said...

Ugh, sorry to hear both kids are under the weather. Get well soon lil' Joys!

Jenny Ryan said...

In honor of your finally realizing your Park Ranger Dream, and because I love my daily shots of Joy, I have nominated your for the "Rockin' Girl Blogger" Award :)

http://www.jennyryan.com/2007/09/20/seeking-new-bloggers-look-no-further/

Shannon said...

I get the same expression on my face when I have to figure out math problems.

JoeinVegas said...

I think all the big people on those kid shows have to imbibe a bit, or at least they look like some form of mind alteration is at work.
And what's with that healthy food when K is away? You'd probably scream if you heard that he served a dinner like that.

mcewen said...

Well everyone knows the health healing benefits of Goldfish. Hope the holding pattern work and that nothing emerges that you don't want to emerge.
Cheers

Paige said...

Bleargh!

Poor you.

Are the wee ones doing better today? Let me know...

imhelendt said...

LMAO @ Charlie. We think Charlie is...um....mentally impaired. And Steve walks around imitating him and I laugh until I cry. Charlie is definitely a few crayons short of a full box. lol.

3carnations said...

My son had croup last week. He's feeling much better now. I hope everyone at your house is all better soon! TV helped us, too. :)

Gingers Mom said...

It is amazing what little Boob Tube can do to cure your ails.

Worker Mommy said...

Brilliant ! Simly brilliant!

Nothing like Dr. television and Nurse comfort food to cure what ails them ;)

Cathy said...

Have been to the pediatrician's twice in the past week.

We are officially The House of Plague.

Charlie weirds me out too.

motherbumper said...

Does that formula really work for figuring out what time they will wake up? Because when I try to figure it out all I see in the cloud above my head is a sitting donkey with flies around it's head.

ali said...

my answer to "my stomach hurts" is always "go sit on the toilet for a bit" always. if nothing else, it gets them out of my hair and chances are good it keeps the barfing in the bathroom. ha!

Kelly said...

The sounds coming from Charlie are always a bit on the creepy side.

Hope your little one is on the mend soon.

mamatulip said...

I ask the same thing whenever one of my darlings complains of a tummy ache. Nine times out of ten, they end up dropping some friends off at the pool.

Redneck Mommy said...

Oh the nursing skills I am learning from you...

Now, do you feed them live goldfish, right from the bowl, or do you kill 'em first?

Oh. You mean goldfish crackers.

That's not nearly as exciting.

Here I thought you were onto some medically genius cure for stomach ailments.

Snicker.

Smooches darling!

moe "simon metz" berg said...

i just assumed charlie had a head injury.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I'd trade that any day for what's in my house right now!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Don't put down that evil box. It's a cure all in my home! Especially Blues Clues and Hi-5. Wonder Pets has recently become a contender as well.

WorksForMom said...

oh how funny. awesome post. whenver i do parental solitude i lengthen each activity to suck every last possible minute out of it. baths take an hour...or more.

Jenifer said...

Do you know how long it took me to learn to ask about poops and stomach aches? You learned fast.

Rosebud is sick now too. Can it be starting so early in the season? Yikes.

Mrs. Chicken said...

If find the Maisy episode where her pals get in her bath with her a wee bit disturbing.

glad you got some peace!

Jen M. said...

Poor baby. I hope all kids are well soon.

Denguy said...

I love Maisy, too, that cure-all solution.

Kyla said...

Feel better House of Joy. I hope that you didn't catch our plague. ;)

flutter said...

Oh but you are a wily one

Heather said...

Congrats on battling it alone! I just have to say I want to tongue kiss my peditrician, the office is open early, open late and they are actually helpful. I'd really like them to see ME!

Trenting said...

I was sure you were gonna tell me there was barf involved, I am dreading the 3 a.m. vomit fest more then anything in the world.. I think I need a hypnotist!


And the poop question..

Brandon, when is the last time you pooped?

Umm.. a couple of days ago..

Really??? [standing there amazed at the tree trunk that is practically too big to flush]

cate said...

ah, the all-healing television....yes, i know it well. it is the medicine turned to first in this house, 'cause it usually works the best!

wordgirl said...

Goldfish and beef jerky? I thought that was only for breakfast?

liv said...

Is it just me or is there a strange "cured meat" obsession going on in the House of Joy?

Omaha Mama said...

Amazingly, we don't watch Maisy. And I thought we watched 'em all.

We eat odd things when Hubs is gone. Cheese and fruit for dinner? Why not? I'll add a beer to mine. Dad's gone, who cares? It all feels very sophisticated in my twisted mind.

Damselfly said...

Haha!

Hope everyone feels better.

Lisa said...

oh god i love television! and i love Maisy. Always thought Charlie was the "let's be friends with everyone even the learning-disabled kid" character. Gets 'em ready for kindergarten. Whatever, as long as it keeps them spellbound.