Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Yer Mama Sez Oink

While K pulled dinner from between his cheeks, The Mayor, The Rooster and I were lying on our growling bellies and reading books.

Roo picked the first book and (GOT HELP ME) heard the damned panda counting sheep book for the 7,000th time.

Then it was The Mayor's turn to pick a book.

The Rooster was not impressed with his selection.


"No, Mommy! Read THIS!" she said shoving 'Barnyard Dance' up my left nostril.

"No, Roo. It's The Mayor's turn to pick. You can choose the next book," I said.

The Rooster threw her book on the floor and glared at me.

She walked around me, climbed onto my back, stuck her dirty toes in my hair and said,

"You're a PIGGY."

Nice.

33 comments:

Wendy said...

Where do they come up with this stuff? Lately, my daughter puts hands on hips, stomps her foot and says "well, you're just CHIEF!!"

Huh?

Scout's Honor said...

But are you "meaner than the devil?" Actually words said and videotaped. Evidence will be used during teenage years, me thinks.

slouching mom said...

Heh. She's well on her way.

Paige said...

Tell Avery to do something -- or to not do something -- and she will greet you with the following angry exclamation: "Nooooo-GAH."

I do not know what it means, other than she doesn't like what you are suggesting.

Even so, I do not know how you get from "I do not like what you are suggesting" to "Noooo-GAH."

Kids...

Her Bad Mother said...

Dude! I'm a piggy too! (Actually, a cow. And cow says moo. Or so WB tells me when she's riding my back and whacking me on the head.)

TastesLikeCrazy said...

You think she'll mind if I use that one?

Lisa Milton said...

Nothing like coming home to little dirty piggies in your hair.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Aw, but I like Barnyard Dance.

With an oink and a moo and a cock-a-doodle doo, everybody promenade two by two.

Aw, yeah.

Blog Antagonist said...

When my kids were little, they had to implore me to stop reading Barnyard Dance. I LOVED that book!! And since they couldn't read...well...I usually won.

But anyway...yeah. She sounds like quite the opinionated young lady. That will serve her will some day.

Kyla said...

They think they are so clever, don't they? *lol*

moosh in indy. said...

Why be mature before you have to be?

wordgirl said...

Piggy? Maybe that's why she wants you to read "Barnyard Dance"...but still! There are limits. Teenagers tend NOT to exhibit outbursts but do seem to enjoy pretending as though I don't exist. I'm not sure which hurts more.

JaniceNW said...

Did you "oink" for her? I would have and then watch the toddler anger go bye bye!

jen said...

tell the little piglet with that attitude she'll fit right in with the rest of us.

Grim Reality Girl said...

There must be something in the air.... my daughter tossed down a handful of evil tonight as well...

Ah to be loved this way by our daughters! I hate you means I love you.

flutter said...

when my niece was little, she was making me a little batty and I said, KELSEYKNOCKITOFFYOUAREDRIVINGMECRAZY! and she looked right at me in her 4 year old wisdom and said

you don't have to be mad, cuz your butt's big.

oy.

Queen Karana said...

*giggle* My kids just say that I'm mean. Or "YOU'RE. NOT. NICE."

I'd probably burst out laughing if they called me a piggy.

crazymumma said...

farcking barnyard dance.

i swear i woke up in puddles of my own drool every afternoon.

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

Well, at least you aren't a "BO BO" ...whatever that means. That was my name for the longest time... I'm finally "ma ma" as of a few weeks ago.

Maybe she meant to say wiggy as she was putting her toes in your hair.

Heather said...

Oink oink oink oink squeallll. oinky squeal oink oink.

(You speak pig too, right?)

~JJ! said...

I love Barnyard Dance. I'd be pigged too if you didn't read it to me.

Oink with the pig if you know how!

Lawyer Mama said...

Oh god, no. You mentioned Barn Yard Dance and now they're square dancing around in my head. Make it stop!

WILLIAM said...

Which piggy are you? The one that had roast beef or the one that went to the market?

furiousBall said...

I did the same thing during a meeting last week when my manager didn't like my proposal. He's a piggy now too.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

See, this is where Bryan and I have fun later by calling Declan all kinds of foul names. "Oh yeah, well you're a ____!" Of course, he's asleep in bed and we're in the basement out of earshot, but it sure feels good. I know, we are, like, soooo mature.

Cause after I lose 40 pounds, the LAST thing I want is to be called is a PIG.

Mimi said...

Stomp your feet! Clap your hands! Everybody ready for a Barnyard Dance! Bow to the horse, bow to the cow, twirl with the piggy if you know how!

Oh god, I've got that one committed to memory. Ugh. Isn't the predinner hour just awful?

Rusti said...

I'm apolofizing once again - because reading your posts make me laugh right out loud! I hope that when I have kids I can keep the humor alive as you do... you're my inspiration! :)

Mama en Fuego said...

Aww Roo, what a character.

Circus Kelli said...

I've been called a "Dump Truck". At least "Piggy" makes some sorta sense...

Marine Wife said...

Starts early with the girls, doesn't it? Anyone know when it stops?

Julie Pippert said...

OY!

My 2 yo calls me nicehead or dumbhead, depending upon how mommy-like I am being. LOL

Oh the sass!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

my 4 year old gave me a titty twister the other day and told me I was a cow.

urban-urchin said...

Chances are my 2 year old would have used some profanity...and GLARED at me before trying to hit me. So yeah, piggy's not so bad...

A side note from reading the comments I think I am glad I don't know this Barnyard Dance business, or it would be perpetually stuck in my head.