Thursday, July 05, 2007

Becoming Fit

My Granny grew up in an extremely rural part of Virginia - a place that remains so even today.

If you met her, you would probably find her to be a proper, refined, southern woman.

You would not likely encounter her secret, inner Erica Jong.

The Family Joy spent the last five days in Virginia with Granny and Grandma Seattle.

Granny and I were talking about my continued battle against The Lady Flabina when she said,

"I read an article recently citing a new weight loss method discovered by N.A.S.A. The article said that the fastest way astronauts can restore their atrophied muscles after spending time in space is to use a vibrator."


Grandma Seattle and I fell over laughing.

"Honestly," Granny said with her usual propriety and composure, "I think it sounds like a perfectly DELIGHTFUL way to stay fit."


[The twinkle in Granny's eye was a dead give away.]

Delightful, indeed.


56 comments:

Starrlight said...

Your granny ROCKS! Please give her a Rockin - Mentioned On A Blog -Girl Award from me!

Woman with kids said...

I'm going on a diet right this second. Er, well, maybe I'll wait until I get home from work.

Although, had the flu on Tuesday and lost 4.5 pounds, so I've got a head start on the diet thing.

And? Granny is awesome.

Mimi said...

Obviously, your whole family is good peoples. Good, fun, well-vibrated peoples. :-)

Paige said...

Oh, see, you are so lucky. My grandmother was a hypochondriac. And that's no fun.

Mamma said...

Well! There's no doubt where you come from!!

Mama en Fuego said...

Wow, that diet is so not working for me. I must be doing something wrong.

Annie said...

Twinkling eyes and all, you are SO lucky to have your Grandmother.

ewe are here said...

How lucky you were to have her.

My grandmother wasn't nearly as much fun. In fact, she really wasn't any fun at all.

Gingers Mom said...

That's my kinda diet...kids...go to your room. Mommy's on a time out too...I need to work out.

Sober Briquette said...

I really wanted the Soloflex WBV (Whole Body Vibration) bench. Now I can say Granny Joy recommmends it!

liv said...

Naughty Granny!

Mona said...

I want to go to *that* gym.

Marmite Breath said...

I'm back to counting points today (don't ask) but Granny's way sounds like more fun.

Hol&J said...

Can we all "adopt" Granny? She's so cool!

painted maypole said...

Sounds great! But I wonder if that's the kind of vibrator NASA meant? I think we'll have to do some of our own research to find out.

Lotta said...

How funny. Though I would have a tough time giving certain body parts equal "workout" time.

Alpha DogMa said...

So sassiness is programmed into your DNA, huh?

Lene said...

Oh what a smart granny you have! LOL

I love my Gram and she was very open, but I just don't see her saying that. haha

NotSoSage said...

Now, that's a workout regimen I can get behind...er...I mean...

Lawyer Mama said...

I love your Granny!

And you were in my state!

mcewen said...

Huh! 'Naughty but nice.'
Cheers

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I love your Granny! She sounds like fun!

Jenn said...

Hmmm...perhaps there might be some personal trainer willing to demonstrate the proper techniques...

QT said...

I must be doing something wrong, too...

Queen Karana said...

That's amusing. I think your Granny is awesome.

The King grew up in a very rural part of Virginia too. Technically, according to the signs, the town he lived in consisted of only a bridge.

Queen Heather said...

Oh how I hope I'm like your granny when I'm old! How awesome!

Denguy said...

Uh, what are we talking about here?

Lisa said...

I think I love your Grandma. That is so funny. And it does explain where you got your funny, sassy, smarts from.

Lisa said...

Thanks to you, now that Beach Boys song, "Good Vibrations" keeps going through my mind....

andi said...

Your granny rules! She actually reminds me of mine. I hope I'm one of those grannies and not one that goes on and on about "kids these days" when I'm older.

Mrs. Incredible said...

I don't know. If this is true, I have some friends who should be anorexic by now.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

OH MY GOD! One Xmas we gave my Oma a pod-shapped hand massager that fit in the palm of your hand (she had arthritis)... and the look on her face was worth 10 of the damn things when she looked up hopefully and said, "Is this for... you know... down there?"

I am pretty sure my mother wet herself laughing.

Magpie said...

I am trying to imagine my either of my grandmothers saying anything remotely like that. Your Granny is great!

amusing said...

Oh, well now I get why I read "Virginia" as "vagina" at first....

I've been agonizing about giving my mom a vibrator. I think it could open up a whole new world to her.... Maybe I'll just mail it anonymously!

Major Bedhead said...

Heh. Hysterical.

I've got a great weight loss program. It's called The Infected Tooth/Stomach Bug diet. Fantastic results.

Biddy said...

sign me up for that class!!

~JJ! said...

Deeeeeeeeee-lightful indeed!!!

Great grannies in your family!

Momish said...

Just proof that it is in your genes, baby! Do you think your granny would adopt me?

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Please promise me I will be that cool when I reach my golden years!

I'm not sure this diet would go over with Mr. Mayhem.....he has a slight aversion to the *ahem* battery operated items! (hee-hee)

I suppose it did not help that the "Silver Bullet" I bought at a fun party sounded like a small weedeater when I turned it on! Yeah....that went STRAIGHT into the garbage!

metalia said...

While I'm sketchy on the details as to how, exactly, this would work to restore muscle tone, I know one thing for sure--your Granny is hilarious.

mothergoosemouse said...

Well, at the very least, I'm betting that many of us are keeping our pelvises in great shape thanks to vibration technology.

Cathy said...

I love that you have a Granny who has no fear of flying!

miss bliss said...

Your Granny seems DELIGHTFUL! I like to imagine mine would have been the same. So funny!

Jenifer said...

Your Granny is a hoot! I can see the apple didn't fall far from the tree...

Damselfly said...

Woo, Granny! Must be those long rural nights.....

Ally said...

This reminds me of the time that Tobin plunked down D-I-L-D-O while playing scrabble with my cousins and Grandmother. I was mortified, and Grandmother ignored it entirely.

Sayre said...

Hmmm.... I'll have to try that.

Haley-O said...

I HAVE to try that diet when baby comes and I have to lose all this preggo weight!!! HAVE to! THANKS!!!

jen said...

she's awesome. i love this sort of elder wisdom, it's the best kind.

Mel said...

LMAO!!! I love your grandma. :)

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

What a pair you two make! Hilarious post as usual.

MsPrufrock said...

Oooo...what a sassy Granny.

Also, there is something Southern about using "particularly delightful". It sounds so proper and Southern.

Scott said...

Wow, even your grandma is cool.

CakeHead said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I would fall over and not stop laughing for days! Seriously, your granny needs an award.

moosh in indy. said...

Granny needs a treadmill.

jess8t8 said...

Your Granny can take away the stress accumulated within you. Good sense of humor.