Thursday, May 31, 2007

Little Pots of Gold

My children are going for some kind of world record.

Most Weeks Mother Kept From Completing Full Week At Work!

It has been ten weeks since I last worked a full week. TEN WEEKS!!

If I wasn’t self-employed I’d be thinking about firing my sorry behind for never showing up to work.

Yesterday afternoon The Rooster decided to spike a 102 degree fever which means she was … KICKED OUT OF DAYCARE!

Again.

W00T!


(Mind you, not a single symptom since that spike, but I’m not BITTER or anything.)

This morning I had to drop The Mayor off at daycare, leave him there and take Roo back home with me. This doesn’t usually go well. The Mayor is not a big fan of being left behind.

But lo! This morning I was saved by my people. Oh, the good people of Ireland!

The daycare teacher was playing Irish fiddle music and I could not help myself.

My arms fused to my sides, I hopped on one foot and then the other, my legs kicked out in a herky jerky way and all the while I spun in circles like a drunken leprechaun.

Soon there was a swarm of two and three year olds surrounding me.

“Hold your arms against your sides!” I cried. “Our people don’t move their arms when they dance!”

There was a mass of toddlers performing a great, armless hopping and kicking tribute to my people.

Toddlers turned in endless circles and I snuck away leaving the short ones to their jiggety jigging.

The Blessed Irish.


The Dance of Our People

88 comments:

slouching mom said...

You embrace life, baby.

I love that about you.

And I totally see you as the Pied Piper of Daycare. Totally.

Mary Alice said...

What's the female term for Lord? Lordess? Duchess? Oh wait, no, I know this...it's LADY.

Lady of the Dance of Joy.

carmachu said...

I love how your iwlling to be silly and dance....

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

So is that what you do all day at work? Photoshop?

hee hee...

You should be a day care provider!

Patience said...

Distract 'em with something silly then escape! Great plan!!

Paige said...

Next time you're at Friday Afternoon Club, you're doing the jig, dude.

Annie said...

You Rock, Jess. I, too, so admire your willingness to be 'out' there: be silly, let loose, and also to speak your mind, when needed.
It's taken me to reach my early 50's and survive a bout of breast cancer to learn to let go and be me.

And thank you for that 'family' shot of your 'people'... I needed a good belly laugh this morning!

May the good health fairies keep the fevers away...

SciFi Dad said...

Aye, lassie, 'tis a fine jig yeh did.

theotherbear said...

I contemplated holding a thermometer to a light bulb at work today to fake a fever and get my mum to come and pick me up too.

Rapunzel said...

Oh, what fun! What lucky children to have experienced that!

Julie Pippert said...

I love it...dance, but don't move those arms!

What I really want to know is...did you travel to Atlanta to audition for So You Think You Can Dance?

I have seen a variety of forms of dance, but no Irish.

What's up with that?

Izzy said...

"Our people..." lolololol

Lawyer Mama said...

You are the coolest mom ever!

pgoodness said...

ROFLMAO. You are awesome.

Life As I Know It said...

When all else fails use the 'distract and run' technique.

Nice post!

Queen Heather said...

Oh fun times! Next time, I'll bring the irish whiskey to spike the coffee while you do the irish jig. Woohoo!

EE said...

I can never resist a good jig, either!!!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Okay, so I just got some strange looks from people passing by my office and seeing me dance around with my arms at my sides.

Oh, 'tis fun to be Irish!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

I have a bit of the Irish in me too (HELLO, a son named DECLAN) and a whole lot of the German (who appreciate drunken dancing as much as the Irish). I think I need to try this - as we bring Declan in to the office with us for the next week because we have a gap in daycare. This is gonna be FUN.

Heather said...

Fabulous plan! They'll all be talking about it for days. And you can count it as exercise-that is a win all the way around.

Starrlight said...

ROFL! That Picure...omg :P

Where were you when I had to drop my kid off at daycare? All I got were seriously scary moms :P

WILLIAM said...

Get jiggy with it. Our people hold our hands at our side when we dance because it prevents the beer in their hands from spilling.

jen said...

The Riverdancing Queen of Daycare.

Yep, it suits you.

Lisa Milton said...

The look on your face while you are dancing is priceless.

Go people of the fused arms! Dance on.

Esmerelda said...

Can you come do that at my office? I'm usually the only one dancing, and after 10 years, I think my boss is tired.

Lotta said...

Awesome!

Domestic Chicky said...

Ay, I've succumbed to your lucky charms yet again! Great pic..I totally sent you a button for that-did you get it?

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear oh the joys. Can you click your heels in the air like the Riverdance people? If you can, don't show the kids at daycare because they'll probably fall and knock themselves out on a stray toy...

Shelli said...

I wish you were a parent in my daycare. All the Moms I run into are sooooo grumpy in the morning.

Well, I am too (sometimes), but if I saw a Mom performing Riverdance, I think I'd join in just for fun.

Catizhere said...

Maggie LOVES to "Irish-Dance". She can't quite get the whole "arms fused to your sides" thing yet, but she has a nice hop-skip-kick-jump move going.

Saturday Night we were flicking through the channels and "The Quiet Man" came on. Maggie loves that movie. She actually says Sean Thornton and Mary Kate with a slight brogue. Her favorite line is, "Will Danaher! Wipe yer feet!!"

At Mag's daycare I am "Breakfast-Mom!" Once we get there, drop Will in the Infant room, Maggie clocks in & then I am immediately swarmed by 15 little girls and 3 boys all asking me for Cheerios & orange juice. I don't know how it happened, I just know that it's my job to feed these children. While they are slurping on their juice, I kiss Mag on the head, and quietly slip out the door.

mcewen said...

The arms are commendable but you need to practice a 'neutral' face.
Cheers

Jenifer said...

Love this post, you are an inspiration to be free! I could use more help in that department.

B. Goldenwood said...

You are adorable. How fun it must be to live in your house! OH! The JOYS!

NotSoSage said...

Oh, awesome.

Now, please explain to me the curly wigs. I asked ADM about this when she posted about the dance of her people and I just DON'T GET IT. Why must all Irish dancers have bouncy, curly hair?

Sigh.

Tabba said...

You know you got the dance right when, in the words of the great Chandler Bing, 'your legs flail about as if independent from your body'.

Moobs said...

You have brought back some very painful memories for me (and I am not talking about my first glimpse of Michael Flatley's satin trousers).

At our wedding my mother treated us, the other hotel guests and half of the population of Edinburgh to her unique interpretation of Irish dancing. As the blood drained from my face, I realised that being born in Dublin is no guarantee of dancing ability and that it was froim my Mum's side that I inherited my arhythmic leaden-footedness. Needless to say, when she finished there was a great appreciative roar from all present (and those stood on the street outside nose pressed to the window)

karrie said...

Clog on! :)

QT said...

I just laughed my ass off at work.

“Hold your arms against your sides!” I cried. “Our people don’t move their arms when they dance!”

You forgot to tell them not to move those hips, either!

andi said...

Hilarious. I wish I would have thought of Irish dancing as a cure for my woes when the kiddo was constantly keeping me home from work because she was sick. Especially the time when she threw up in the car on the way to daycare. I kept her home the whole day and she didn't even have the grace to vomit at home to thank me for my efforts. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. But I digress - dance on!

Mama en Fuego said...

ROFLMAO - I once did that in an irish pub, it got me a hot guys phone number. However I think it had more to do with the jiggling boobies than the technical masterpiece of my dancing.

Talk about getting jiggy with it.

CamiKaos said...

ahh but they didn't have a drink to go with their morning jig...

great post.

Kyla said...

You are hilarious!

When KayTar was younger and still in daycare, I don't think I made it through a whole week of work, ever. She threw up once a week at least, which is an automatic ticket home. Add to that that she was actually sick every 1-2 weeks and my work schedule was spotty to say the least. Oh, the joys! *lol*

Above Average Joe said...

“Our people don’t move their arms when they dance!”

Maybe they are afraid to look like Elaine Benes?

Mrs. Chicky said...

Our people do not move their arms when they dance! No! They prefer to use their arms to drink beer!

Biddy said...

"our people" hehehe i'm seriously about to pee all over myself. hmm wonder if that would get me a ticket home?

BOSSY said...

My what frizzy hair you have.

Kelly said...

You are my kind of woman! I say quit that snarky job of yours, and take up jigging for toddlers for a living! Who cares about that lifestyle you've become accustomed to living when you can dance, dance, DANCE!

Bon said...

dance, dance, wherever you may be...so long as yer arms are stuck to your sides, dearie, and yer hordes of toddlers are hoppin' at yer feet, bless their little souls.

my god, i needed this laugh. :)

Mama's Moon said...

Do ya do 4-year old birthday parties? Our local entertainment is booked solid...you go, Girl!

Little Monkies said...

Now I know how you get those 6 pack ABS! It's hard to dance with your arms glued to your sides! Such core strength! Why not a workout video?

Heeeeeyyyyy.

Monkey is home today barfing his brains out. O, the vomit.

Alpha DogMa said...

Channeling your inner Michael Flatley, huh? For the full affect you need a mullet, a head band and tight trousers. Really tight.

Melina said...

Love the picture!

Also I love how you just jump right into anything head first. I wish I could be like that.

I love Irish folk music.

Aliki2006 said...

I wish I could have seen that! What a wonderful way to start off their day...and a great image, to boot.

Momish said...

Your people are funny! I hope the Rooster feels better soon!

Major Bedhead said...

Hysterical. You should start a rival show, give that Flatley wanker a run for his money.

Being of both Spanish and Irish extraction, I constantly want to click castanets while doing the jig.

ali said...

they are NEVER sick once they are sent home... :)

mamatulip said...

I love your quirkiness. :)

Karen Forest said...

Funny!

Gingers Mom said...

You are awesome. Such joy and freedom in your life. Do your kids still think you rock? Or are they hiding in embarassment yet? LOL

Pendullum said...

Hope Rooster is feeling up for a jig real soon...
The Virgin Mary is kinda looking a wee bit rough around the habit!!

thordora said...

I read this earlier today and I STILL cannot get the image of a bunch of preschoolers dancing like this.

Thanks man...thanks a LOT! :P

flutter said...

The buttdance fandango?!?! I think I may have just shat myself.

notfearingchange said...

LMAO...we need to hook up.

Jodi said...

Video! We need VIDEO!!!

Why do kids get sick suddenly and then better just as suddenly? My oldest will say, "Oh, I'm sick. I'm SICK. uhh...uhh...bluuuughhhaaaa!" Those two, "I'm sick!" yells are all the warning he gives. Then, after vomiting on himself and his classmate as he leaves a trail from the classroom down the hall, the school expects ME to come pick him up. I say, "Why? Can't you give him a shirt from lost and found and send him back to class? I mean, he's better now!"

I didn't really say that, I just thought it. Really loud. Because once he hurls, he is fine. Weird.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Welcome to my nightmare! The best part is when they run fever...they can't go back the next day either, so if they call you in the morning..you get to miss 2 days of work! GOOD STUFF!

You got to love toddler dancing...priceless!

Ortizzle said...

Stop blaming it on the kids being sick. You are spending all day doing photo montages, LOL.

For what it's worth, I think you've missed your calling. You should be running the daycare center.

Hol&J said...

I love your spirit, and humor. I hope to be like that with my kids someday.

Rebecca said...

what a sight that must have been!!

I had four weeks off in a row last year as my four kids got chicken pox one by one. I LOVED it. But then we own our own business so I couldn't get fired - just had the perfect excuse to do no work!

Mimi said...

Snork. That's some excellent dancing y'all are doing there. You should take it on the road, partridge family style. They you wouldn't have to worry about daycare. You could use the Rooster to heat up the bus ...

KC said...

Oh my god, I love that picture. Seriously. You are pure gold with that photoshop.

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

funny funny

When I worked for myself ... I used to always say that I should fire myself ...
I kept horsing around while I was supposed to be working...
like making personal phone calls, laundry, cleaning, e~mails, watching the news....

Stepping Over the Junk said...

"Our People..."!!! You are too frickin' funny. My December/January/February was like that. Someone was always sick and I never got my work done...and the minute you call the kids in sick, they are running around and running THE household as if it's summer.

momomax said...

milk just came out of my nose.

and I'm not even drinking milk...
yer thaht foony leddy. wow, my internet Irish sucks just as much as my 'real' Irish accent

Ally said...

Can you please prepare your guest room? Cuz I've decided to move in with you. Clearly you're having a lot more fun than I am.

Marmite Breath said...

Is it wrong to find the Virgin Mary quite attractive in that picture?

Grim Reality Girl said...

This is why I love you!

Slackermommy said...

Can't wait to get you drunk and see this dance at Blogher.

Shannon said...

Blessed be the Irish.

Love the illustration.

Kevin Charnas said...

Why am I turned on?

Sunshine said...

Where is Michael Flatley??? Photoshop him in there trying to make out with you.

urban-urchin said...

excellent. our people would be proud (well half of my people,). My kid took Irish dance and hated it until she watched a performance where the girls did their Riverdance numbers and wore the fancy fancy costumes. Well, then she was enamoured.

Hope Roo feels better soon,

kellypea said...

I always know I can get a laugh here. Thanks!

Biddy said...

i have a question oh great photoshop queen...do you have photoshop elements or the photoshop that costs more than i make in a month?

Mad Hatter said...

My sister took up Irish dance at 50. Just something she always wanted to do. Cool, eh?

DSB said...

Hahah, you are TOO funny! I can just see that now, and you correcting the toddlers, too!

Dance on, Mama!

carrie said...

Now see? If your children went to my daughter's preschool, I wouldn't have to deal with the competi-mommies and the wack-jobs every time I picked her up.

I could be dancing. Yeah.

Carrie

Flawed & Disorderly said...

WHAT I wouldn't give to see you break out in Lord of the Dance!!!!

I love your freedom to be fun and silly. Had I been standing next to you, I would have immediately moved into a corner...not because I was scared to be near you, but because I wouldn't want to be included in the stares from all around. Ha ha. I'm so not fun.

ewe are here said...

heh heh

Some of those Irish step costumes are amazingly intricate, though...