Friday, May 25, 2007

I Have No Thoughts or Feelings About Anything

Last night we had dinner out with another family.

In the middle of the conversation I looked at K and blurted out,

"You're so CUTE!"

He gave me a look that said, "Um, O.K. Ms. Non Sequitur. Whatever."

The thing is, lately I've noticed that I am not in touch with my feeeeeeeeeelings.

When I get together with a friend that I haven’t seen in awhile and they ask me what I’ve been up to I draw a complete blank.

I feel like I have nothing to say.

Every day truly is the same here at The House of Joy.

So when I looked at K across the dinner table and saw him... you know, really saw him (and his HOTNESS) I had to tell him because I thought,

"I'm having an actual feeling. YIPPEEEE!"

But, that is the only thought or feeling that I have had in a few weeks.

So what do I record here?

When in doubt...

Blog about... blogging.

[Apologies to my real world people who could give a schnitzel.]

((((THIS is my really amazing transition to the next topic... don't let my awesome writing skillz intimidate you.))))

Plain Jane Mom told me that the Blogger's Choice Awards just drag on and on until October.

That is a long time for someone as impatient as me to wait.

The NOMINATRIX wants RESULTS.

I am nominated in a few categories and I've been keeping an eye on my status as a loser.

This blog is NOT The Best Parenting Blog. (I know, I know. SHOCKING.)




Have I not shared the best, most nutritious recipes for young children?


Nutritious dMeal


Have I not inspired parents to read to their children in a lively way, by making Mike Mulligan bark like a dog?

April 9, 2007 Mom of the Week counts for NOTHING?

((((DORK PARENTS UNITE.))))


In addition, I am NOT the hottest mommy blogger.





I nominated other people for the "hottest" category, but when I did it, I wasn't thinking of "HOT" as in "National Park Rangers are HOT," I thought of it in terms of temperature.

You know, which blogger is
the most schweddy.

Is that wrong?


Me?

I am SO hot.

I am on FIRE, baby...


heat_miser of joy


Go ahead, make me schweddier.


This blog is also NOT the best blog of all time.



But for the record, I totally won that already.

Like back when I was writing posts during the
big bang.

big bang of joy


I also won it way back when I was blogging at the time of The Dawn of Man.


The Dawn of Joy


...and also in the time of Jeebus.


the_walk_to_emmaus with joy

So there is really no need to win it again now.

Finally, Best Humor Blog?



You've got to be kidding me.

This blog is NOT funny.

Everything I post is 100% serious.

Are you laughing AT me?

73 comments:

WILLIAM said...

I love the big bang poster. and I think you are SuperNova.

mommiebear2 said...

You are so friggin funny!!

Sayre said...

I think this post qualifies you for a win in EVERY category! Too funny, girl!!!!

Queen Heather said...

I'm laughing at you, yes.

Shannon said...

Ha! I love the Haysoos picture and the question you posed. I've often wondered that myself.

There's gotta be a whole category just for you where only you can be nominated and therefore the only one who can win.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Honey, we are laughing WITH you not AT you...

I think I need photoshop..you have way too much fun.

Woman with kids said...

Laughing AT, laughing WITH, so long as we're laughing, right?

Erika, Plain Jane Mom said...

With, totally with, baby!

Mrs. Chicken said...

You'll always be the Best Humor Blog to me. Maybe I should give out my own awards - you'd get a trophy made of grilled cheese.

You are such a riot, woman, wish we were neighbors.

Lisa Milton said...

I love the heatmiser shot - great movie.

(I will be singing his tune all day.)

I must learn how to utilize photoshop.

Augs Casa said...

wow, posting picture of the heat miser. you rock!

Kelly said...

I have got to get photoshop! And yes, I'm laughing at you and with you and around you!

Lawyer Mama said...

Baaaahaaaaaa! You are so going to hell now! Baaaaahaaaaa!

(I've already voted for you in every category, I think. I'll have to sign up my husband, our 2 kids & the cats & pump up your numbers some more!)

NotSoSage said...

Funny?

You?

Huh. Hadn't really noticed.

There's just no accountin' for taste.

g-man said...

Heh heh she said big bang. :) Hope you get in touch with your feelings soon.

Antique Mommy said...

Oh yes, this blog is totally funny. Love the shot of you hanging on the shoulder of JC. And here I just wanted to touch the back of his cloak. :)

Jenifer said...

With you, at you, does it really matter?

Based on these very convincing arguments you are a shoe-in in all categories.

Mamma said...

Damn you! Even with nothing to say you crack us all up.

I'm really hoping you might sneeze some of that magic on me in Chicago. **praying for pollen**

kara said...

too funny....

Kevin Charnas said...

I totally see your left boob in that smock while you're bothering Jesus with your questions.

Hol&J said...

You funny?
But of course!

Biddy said...

honestly, i'm laughing my ass off! of course, i do that EVERY time I read your blog!!

Kim said...

I can't believe you're not winning...we, your loyal fans, must go ROCK THE VOTE!

...because if we looked up 'funny' in the dictionary we should see your picture...one of your photoshopped pictures ;)

Grim Reality Girl said...

I rocked the vote for you several times :-) I am laughing WITH you my friend... WITH you!!!

mamatulip said...

Ah, Jessica Joy, how I've missed you.

radical mama said...

Oh yeah, this are serious OTJ & this are serious blog! But in all seriousness, you know I voted for ya!

Yamagoo said...

I knew having photoshop was going to push you over the edge! LOVE IT!

Busy Mom said...

October?! Oh, my.

Jen Magnuson said...

You're so funny that even though I'm in one of the categories with you over at BCA, I voted for YOU! (well, and myself, too). I love your blog! IF it weren't for those people over at BCA (this October thing bites) I wouldn't have founds your blogoliciousness.

QT said...

Maybe there is a category for funniest blog utilizing PhotoShop?

HI-larious, woman - especially the big bang poster! And let me know what the holy man says about your question, I've been dying to knwo that myself....

Kyla said...

And this is proof that you ARE the best humor blog, my dear!

flutter said...

Jess you just made me GAG I was laughing so hard. Is there a category for that?

karrie said...

This r serious blog.

Kristin said...

ok, I was laughing and laughing...and then I got to the "Jeebus" and laughed my ass off!

Karen Forest said...

Can I just say that considering you have been around since, well, before Christ....

DAMN, you look good.

liv said...

I think I'll nominate you for

Blog So Funny I Peed A Little

Now that award has class.

Karen Forest said...

Of course, please don't take my comment to mean that you don't look good even if you weren't 2000+ years old.....


Ugghhh, now you know why I have no thoughts or feelings about anything......

Jennifer said...

Yeah, um, I have some voting to get to. This is indeed one of the FUNNIEST FRICKEN' Blogs of ALL TIME! ALL TIME!

I'm off to do more voting, cause I didn't realize you were nominated in all those areas. I'm slow, what can I say?

Shauna said...

I'm totally laughing at you.

Slackermommy said...

It's hard to be in a bad mood after reading your blog. Thanks for the laughs. I'll go vote for your ass. You deserve it.

Bon said...

u haz thumbz?

u don't need thoughtz or feelingz when u haz thumbz.

trust me. and you're still beating the rest of our arses flat out in the awardz, too. which you entirely deserve. :)

Jennifer said...

You are Best Photoshopper, hands down.


Wait.

Best, Hottest, Funniest Photoshopper Parent, I meant. Duh.

cronznet said...

PULEEZE make the JC/BC/AD into a poster! I'd buy a dozen right away, minimum.

Damselfly said...

You are too much.

Gingers Mom said...

Sometimes I look at my husband like that too and blurt random stuff out. He thinks I am weird. I think he's HOT and he should know it. Hee hee. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog.

BOSSY said...

Crazy Joys: You make Bossy laugh as if she were just booked into the wrong hotel!

mothergoosemouse said...

How'd you know I'm schweddy? Please don't tell, okay?

Nancy said...

I think you would totally blow the competition out of the water if they had a category for Best Use of Photoshop. :-)

xoxo

Hilly said...

OMG I was nominated for Best Blog of all Time and watched my results feverishly for the first month. Now I have no patience left for my losing!

carmachu said...

I love your humor....

Mrs. Chicky said...

You're silly.

And thanks a lot for getting that damn Heat Miser song stuck in my head. It's now the end of May and I had just rid myself of that tune left over from Christmas.

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

I was voted for something on the bca however I'm not winning anything by a long shot! I love your blog. I'm glad you found my blog-- not nearly as entertaining as yours, but still glad you found me.

Rony

p.s. I too blurt out (usually in front of a room full of people) that my lm is so hot! Totally embarrasses him. Oh well.

Starrlight said...

I think you are delightfully schweddy!

Denguy said...

Is there a category for the blog by the biggest nutbar?

Pgoodness said...

Damn, you can always make me laugh!
By the way, I totally get what you're saying about the feelings thing. I feel (? maybe think I feel? hehe) the same way a lot of the time. Maybe it's the ages of the kids...maybe we're just strange. Either way, nice to have company. And there really should be best blog using photoshop humor - you'd win hands down!!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

You are *totally* driving the bus to hell today, sister! I love it!!!!

KC said...

Your photoshopping skills are out of control. Is there a class I can take?

Also, you need the award for "Best Facial Expressions Ever".

Twisted Cinderella said...

I don't know about anyone else, but I am definitely laughing at you!

Aliki2006 said...

I love the images annd that Jeebus pic--you should win best humor many times over...

jen said...

i don't know how your brain works like this, but i am so glad it does.

and on another note, i so know what you mean, about not quite being in touch. the fog of it.

Paige said...

I think Im laughing harder because I know you're not on anything when you write stuff like this.

You frighten me.

Momish said...

The others I understand, but how you got into the funniest blog category stumps me. How much did you have to pay for that one?

(I didn't know you has so many categories, I will have to go back and make sure I voted for you in them all)

Crystal said...

You're a crack up! I had no idea you had such a thing for park rangers. I will send Joe right over in his uniform. :D

Casmee said...

Too funny ! I like all those crazy ass pictrues!

kellypea said...

Can I have Photoshop lessons, please? You are hilarious!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

OMG, you deserve to win every category. That Jesus one is perfect (and true; I've pondered the very thing).

sweatpantsmom said...

I'm laughing out loud.

With You. At You. Alongside You.

polliwog said...

I don't who the heat miser is, i have no clue what schweddy means but I do KNOW that you are am amazing writer and so very funny. You are like Erma Bombeck to me. WRITE A BOOK ALREADY!

:-)

That caveman photo is my favorite.

Lotta said...

Your Photoshopping slays me. Hilarious!

gingajoy said...

God woman--you are so freaking on fire. Those pictures are fucking PRICELESS!

PunditMom said...

Laugh? At you? NEVER!

Well, OK, usually! ;)

Jenny said...

how do you do it? your photoshop skills and witty words are, well, just nauseating actually. so why do I keep coming back for more fun?!

DSB said...

I'm laughing, I can't help myself! Don't hit me! I especially love that you were blogging in the dawn of the time of man, and in the time of Jesus!