Friday, April 06, 2007

With Apologies to My Neighboring State

The Mayor has been potty trained since Christmas but we still make him sleep in a pull-up at night .

In the morning, K and I insist that The Mayor appease the toilet God with a sprinkle of urine.

To do this, we hold
his morning crack milk hostage.

No pee pee, no milk-ee. Capisce?


He is such a milk addict that I make him do my bidding all day with milk as the carrot on the stick.

"Do you ever want to drink milk again? Ever in your life? Then FOR THE LOVE OF MARY LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!"
After his forced morning pee he prefers not to re-don the night time pull-up. Fair enough.

Sadly, his parents are usually too lazy to go and get him a pair of underwear so we just tell him to "go commando" to the breakfast table.

The Mayor has been intrigued by this saying and determined to learn it.

Unfortunately, he's not as sharp as usual at the start of the day and for the last few mornings he's marched to the breakfast table swinging loose and free yelling,

"I'm going to Alabama!"
alabama

48 comments:

Cece said...

Wow. I'm never the first one to post anywhere but my own blog! It IS a good day!

I've got a best bud in Alabama, I will be forwarding her this post. lol

Blog Antagonist said...

ROFL. Alabama. Well...its apropos, I suppose.

Congrats on your award. You are truly the funniest chick I know and deserve to have one every month from now until the end of time.

Kevin Charnas said...

So, Dana is a travelin' man, huh? Or a travelin'...something...

Congratulations on your award, dagghlinkk.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I've been to Alabama. I know of what he speaks.

Congrats on your award and thanks for spreading the word.

QT said...

Congrats on your award, my friend.

My deep admiration for the Mayor and his lust for life continues to grow....

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Love you.
Love poo.
Love Dana too...

Pgoodness said...

I just...I... ROFLMAO. That's all. :-)

Emily said...

Your child is too funny. My girl does not have the word for naked down yet so when she wants help stripping she just looks at me, pulls her pants down a wee bit and starts slapping her butt until I help her disrobe. You have to love toddler sign language right.

Lawyer Mama said...

Baaaaaahaaaaa! But knowing Alabama, he's pretty much nailed it.

Erika, Plain Jane Mom said...

I keep a basket of underpants and a garbage can in the boys' bedroom. That way there is one-stop self-service pullup-disposal and underoo-donning with minimal parental-intervention.

And I clearly got to get me to Alabama. Sounds like a swingin' state.

flutter said...

Ahhh yes, indeed he IS going to Alabama.
You crack me up.

slouching mom said...

You are the funniest. And The Mayor is a close second.

Mimi said...

I can relate! My 2 1/2 year old is a milk addict too... so is my 6 yo for that matter... and my 2 YO is potty training... Never thought of holding milk hostage... may have to try if I can stand the screaming, "WANT MILK NOW!!!!!"

Augs Casa said...

commando life is good!!!

Groovy Lady said...

Huh? I don't get it. *shrugs*

But then I'm from Alabama so maybe that explains it. :P

Congratulations on the award! :D

TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre said...

At least he doesn't say "mammajamma"!! Oh, and you're tagged for a new MEME over at TSM!

Her Bad Mother said...

I loves Artie, too. And all the ROTFL goodness. And you.

Ah, wuv. It's wut bwings us all toggevur.

Velma said...

Hey! We go commando to breakfast, too! Unfortunately it usually leads to "I'm a nakey baby!" streaking around the house...

EE said...

We used to bribe my son with milk at that age. Come to think of it...we still do, and he's 7!!

Flawed & Disorderly said...

That milk hostage situation is a great idea!!!! I'll have to try that!

Then I'll go do that thing with the Labana.

Damselfly said...

Going to Alabama! What will happen we he starts learning the state capitals . . . ?

So cute!

Kim said...

Alabama...ha!

that kid cracks me up...almost as much as you do ;)

liv said...

hee hee! there are so many jokes to be had at the expense of said neighbor state!

Mrs. Flinger said...

You deserve every ROFL award you get, girlie. Seriously. Awesome Awesome.

karrie said...

At bedtime, put a pair of undies on first, then a pull up. (Tip from a friend who then, shhhhh, reuses the clean pull up the next night.)

We have to layer here in New England, since the weather is so unpredictable.

Jennifer said...

I live in Alabama. It's not an uncommon site.

Oh wait! It's not underwear people are missing, it's SHOES.

BOSSY said...

Yes - congrats on your award. Bossy is also the winner of an award - one could call her an honoree, really - and that award is Most Time Spent On The Planet Without Receiving Any Awards Of Any Kind.

Pattie said...

*Phew*
I am glad the Mayor is going to Alabama and not up here to NC *LOL*
What a funny guy!
My 3 year old gets up every morning. The first thing out of her mouth "I want my coffee milk"...yeah, that's right. Coffee milk. When we lived in RI, everyone up there puts coffee syrup in their milk. We had to buy a case of it before we moved down South because my little one couldn't go a day without it.
Congrats on the ROFL award!

mamatulip said...

*snort*

I love the Mayor.

Mrs. Chicken said...

I'm almost certain that there are many folks in Alabama who go commando. So, coining a new phrase, perhaps?

Love it!

Sindy said...

I hope he enjoys Alabama! And goes there without any accidents!

jen said...

lots of commandos in alabama...he's a man in boy clothing.

Beck said...

Going Alabama! Ha!

carmachu said...

Heh. WIth sarah we hav eth problem of peeing before bedtime....usually there will be tears, but then she goes...

If blackmail works, use it.

Emily Snipes said...

Hopefully when at school The Mayor won't come back from the restroom before lunch "commando"! Now that would be a sight!!!

mcewen said...

Cheaper than therapy is one of my favourites too.
As for the 'swinging'...presumably, like all good Americans, you have adopted the parenting style of 'modeling'and this is the payoff....or maybe not.
Cheers

Lux Lisbon said...

It's a sad day when they learn the right way to say all the words they have been saying wrong for so long. My daughter called Mountain Goats "mangos". Her level of frustration when I had no idea what when was talking about was epic.

Mamma said...

I hope the Rooster plays a good straight man.

Fred Wong's Ghost said...

i don't wear underwear anymore. ever.

urban-urchin said...

he should really follow that up with "with a banjo on my knee." IMO.

you funny lady.

Jenifer said...

My youngest was the same with the milk, baby crack that stuff. You could get her do anything for her "LaLa" fix.

I still can't get past Dana, I don't think I will ever be able to look at someone named Dana again without smirking.

Aliki2006 said...

Wow, commando at the breakfast table! I better not let either one of my kids read this post, as they will demand commando appearances from here on out.

Alabama! Ha!

Mel said...

Hey, wow, I didn't realize that you didn't know you'd been nominated...
You TOTALLY got my votes in both your categories.
Sorry I didn't e-mail you when I found out!!!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I've withheld COLD water before...It's been like "YOU DON'T GET ICE UNLESS YOU START GETTING ALONG!"

Of course, milk, with my older one, is always great leverage too. You'd think it was crack.

Twisted Cinderella said...

LOL! that is too funny!

Mom said...

Woo Wee! What boy doesn't love to let it all hang out. Don't think it ever changes...

Super B's Mom said...

Hey...I resemble that remark. You know...that kid of yours would fit right in around my house.

After an "Alabama" breakfast, Super B could show the Mayor the art of peeing off the front porch.

5 points for peeing on a fire ant bed.
20 points for the cat.

Penny. said...

"I'm going to Alabama!"

ROFLMAO!!!

Your little one has inhereted your spirited sense of humor, I read.

Love it.