Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Oh, The Shoes

At the shoe store, when I ask K,

"Should I buy this pair of shoes or these?"
K knows to say,
"You should definitely buy BOTH. Definitely. Both."

He is a good man.

Though he doesn't UNDERSTAND about women and shoes, he has learned how to get along with this woman (and her shoes.)


I am despondent about the whole realm of shoes these days.

Shoes, belts, bags and accessories in general have too much bling for me.

It is the era of The Great National Over-Bling.

I am not bling-ity.

[Unless I am making a fanetti.]


I often buy clothes in solid colors because I can't figure out what matches what.

Patterns?

Pssssssshhhhhhhhh.

If only there were adult Granimals.

Because of the reign of the Bling-So-Much Movement I haven't been able to find a single pair of shoes that I like in a really long time.

Not a single pair of shoes.

Sisters, (sorry Mad) that is just wrong.

However...

I bought The Rooster a sah-weet, little pair of summer sandals.

She received the sandals with great enthusiasm and put them on straight away.

Though she is only just learning to talk, she spent the rest of the day looking up at me and saying,
"Sandals!! --- Pretty!! --- I LIKE 'em!!"

It felt almost as good as a shoe score for myself.

Now if only my next move hadn't been to teach her the word "clock."

She spent all of the next day looking for K's travel alarm clock and yelling,

"I WANT C0CK!!!"

Oh, daughter. How the joys do mount up.



IMG_5117

91 comments:

A Citizen said...

Dear Joys-

Saw your blog through Mamma's site- It reminded me when my two boys and I waited while Mrs. Citizen tried on 1000 different shoes for a formal- we spent the entire slection from Saks and DSW. We all looked suicidal. I can shop with her for almost anything- Shoes are one of those things we men really can never understand....

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

The whole thing is hysterical!

I taught my daughter that "Shoes are a girls best friend"...

Next is cock...ha! Maybe not.

Patience said...

Great post! Great pic! Great sandals!

[I hate shoe shopping! I go to DSW once or twice a year and buy everything that fits so I don't have to go back!!]

Kim said...

I love shopping but at the same time I'm pretty clueless about fashion. I just buy what I like and what's comfortable.

My best friend, on the other hand, is quite fashionable...so at least I have some help when I need it.

...love the pic and the shoes :)

The 18 month old girl I look after just starting trying to say 'clock'...she comes out with 'cock' too. I hope her parents don't think I taught her that ;)

WILLIAM said...

Hah.

Woman with kids said...

Heh, that's funny. Boy 1 went through his truck stage, "It's fuck, mom!" Lovely.

And not one pair of shoes? Perhaps it's time for an intervention?

Cat, Galloping said...

oh man, we've got a lot of COCK around here, since gatito uses it for clock, duck, truck, yuck... you get the picture. and he calls the nanny tata and talks about her car (and the matchbox car that resembles the real life version). i'm just glad tata doesn't drive a truck.

Sayre said...

I wouldn't worry about the Rooster saying "I want COCK!" right now. If she was 15 - yep, I'd be worried.

I would LOVE to have lots of shoes, but my feet are shaped funny and not much fits. Not much cute anyway. I pretty much live in sneakers and clodhoppers.

QueenieBadd said...

Yeh. That l can be elusive.

And the shoes-I'm totally with you on that one. Also, when did we decide that long skinny banana boat shoes were trendy? Dude, I'm size 6, and even I look like Olive Oyl in these things!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I sometimes like buying R. shoes more than for myself. The little girl shoes they have are the best! And she just L-O-V-E-S shoes!

The Queen Mama said...

Your daughter is adorable and your husband well-trained. Good work!

Adult Garanimals would rock. Take it to market and you'll probably get rich.

Your "cock" mention made me think of when I was about 11 or 12 years old and the local Gibson's ad was highlighting a "cock pot" on sale. I've never been able to look at slow cookers quite the same.

Kendra said...

She is so darn cute!!!! And I know what you mean, my closet is black, charcoal, gray and khaki, I am predictable with clothing and shoes. By the way, ny nephew is learning to talk as well, so The Big Guy teaches him his 2 favorite trains on Thomas, Harry and Percy, well you can deduce the rest. How innapropriate, but funny as hell when in the privacy of our own home!

Damselfly said...

Titter. Giggle.

Look at those eyes!

Bon said...

my god. i want cock. is there an age at which one should leave children inside, perhaps, away from public eardrums? she'll love that story when she's about eighteen, i figger. :)

i'm with you on the bling. i didn't like the bedazzler on its first run around the block back in the 80s. i like it less now that i actually have spent years looking like a normal sedate person in my clothes and shoes and don't expect to be affronted by decorative nonsense.

sigh. stupid fashion.

QT said...

Looks like someone is taking after her mom...in the shoe department, I meant!

venessa said...

I'm with you on the anti-bling. I am getting myself a nice pair of wedges this summer and that's it! My girls won't keep on a pair of shoes for anything. A lives in flip flops year-round if she can get away with it. Reason #267 to move to California.

NotSoSage said...

Ah, yes, one of the funniest aberrations in the toddler lexicon...but I've never heard it used quite that way. :)

I went shoe shopping recently...I was appalled at the bling but also at the fact that all of the shoes are made so badly that they're clearly only meant to last for one season. I am too friggin' sensible for that. That's right, I'm a woman in sensible shoes (and I found them...and I LOVE them).

Kevin Charnas said...

NICE!!! the shoes that is...

Mimi said...

**snork**

I'm with you on the shoe front: who wants bronze lame ballet slippers? Yeesh. I'm reduced to buying retro suede sneakers, but that's hardly sexy. I'm just sayin'

Mama's Moon said...

New shoes and a 'cock', hmmm, now wouldn't THAT just make everybody's day around here???! hahaha. Never a dull moment in your household, OTJ!

MamaLee said...

So funny!

My hubby is all of the fact that he taught my son to say, "Mommy, I'd like a hummer."


Just lovely.

rivergirlie said...

like mother, like daughter ...

Robin said...

Those are some sweet sandals. Love the bib, too.

angel said...

Ah yes...the Cock...Damien in his ever infinite wisdom of learning words, now refers to any clock-appearing thing (barometer, watch, scale, etc) as a cock. Occasionally we'll get "Big cock!! Mommy!! Big cock!" or "Ben's cock" and pointing at his uncle's watch. The best of course is when we're in the most public place ever and he sees one on a wall (in a bank for example) and then yells - at the very top of his lungs - MOMMY WHITE COCK!!!!

Indeed I say!

Anonymous said...

Ruby's pronunciation reminds me of your brother's trouble with the words Fork and Spoon and of his incessant need to yell for them when he was seated to eat - at home, at relatives or when eating out I still can hear "Fuck N spoon" yelled loudly and see the startled eyes of those who heard the yell and suffer their indignant looks!

Way to go on Ruby's shoe education. Here's hoping that some of my ability to coordinate clothes rubs off on her. Love Grandma Seattle

Little Monkies said...

There is such a thing as adult Garanimals...it's called Banana Republic. For that very reason, it's been my uniform of choice for years and years.

Alas, you are much more hip than I with your "Idaho" t-shirts and Seven jeans. Work it girl!

Natalie said...

I am so sorry that you havne't been able to find shoes. I am not a big bling person but my shoes should have a little funk to them. Or else my feet would be yucky. Those sandals are awesome.

The Sour Kraut said...

The shoe gene missed me. I have one pair of black casual, one brown casual, one black dress...and so on.

I use is as part of my argument when The Swede complains about my spending too much on our house. That, and the fact that I am perhaps the lowest maintenance woman on the face of the earth. I never do the spa/salon thing either.

Abbynormal said...

She is absolutely adorable. Almost too cute. I hope my future children will learn funny things from over hearing me and their dad and say them in public. Kids can get away with anything. I am marrying the type of guy who teaches kids bad things so they will embarrass their parents. hawhaw can't wait.

Pretty sandals Roooster Girl

Mandy said...

I'm a big shoe fiend too. But, I really don't like the big cloggy ones (I have to admit, I like the blingy ones-especially cute summer sandals with gems or lots of color on them!). I think the kids have much better choices lately. Especially those cute little Dora shoes, or Spiderman, or Bratz. Why can't we get those? I'd love some Johny Depp on my feet!

Mandy said...

BTW, Just remembered something re: what kids say. Olivia (3) was checking out a baby boy in a shopping cart in front of us the other day. And I said "Isn't he cute?", and she says, "big boys have penises!" out loud. Boy, did I turn 3 shades of red!

mamatulip said...

She's a girl after my own heart...

Blog Antagonist said...

That's a man after my own heart. I'll go shopping with ya. I'm not a big shopper either, but mostly because I dislike shopping on a budget, lol. I do enjoy girlie stuff.

Misa Gracie said...

I love shoes... I am a shoe whore. I usually venture no further than zappos.com to find the blingless shoes I crave.

Though I must admit that I am loving the whole wedge comeback that is happening.

Good Luck in your Shoe Quest!! If you find any gems without gems keep a sistah in the loop!!

Cece said...

I love shoe shopping b/c that is the only thing I buy that doesn't make me look fat! lol

Mrs. M said...

My husband should take lessons on what to say when I buy shoes! :)

Stumbled across your blog and wanted to say HI!

geekymama said...

I've said the same thing before out loud a few times: "I wish they had adult Garanimals".

I don't know if they have 'em where you live, but they DO have an Adult Garanimals store called CJ Banks around these (northern hinterland) parts.

The pity of it is, though, that the CJ Banks clothes, while nicely matched in advance and coordinated with other nearby outfits, all make you look like an Elementary School teacher. The sort of Elementary School teacher that you remember from YOUR childhood. Lots of sweaters with pumpkins appliqued on them for October and "mock turtle" shells to go under.

No. Can. Do.

I'm still in denial (whilst I slide on my "Mom Jeans") ..somehow trying to squeeze my post-kids body into Anthropologie or Ann Taylor Loft threads.

Kyla said...

There is something about girls and shoes. My KayTar is minimally verbal, but I bought her new sandals this weekend and she exclaimed (repeatedly, for hours) "SHOES!! SHOES! Oooooh, wowCOOL! SHOES! Fwy (KayTar for butterflies)!" I don't know that I've ever seen her so excited!!

allrileyedup said...

HAHAHAHA, hilarious! My shoe collection of late has turned to various sneaker prints that in no way matches any clothing I wear. I think I may be reliving my junior high period.

Tabba said...

I totally can relate on the whole blinged out accessories thing. I haven't been able to find a purse, shoes, jeans or shirt in forever. I'm pretty plain-jane. If I wanted to be blinged out with tacky rhinestones, I'd buy a damn bedazzler.

Stephanie said...

Granimals. Yep. Totally need those.

Oh, and thank you. I'm going to be working very hard with Bethany on the "L" sound before I teach her the word "clock." Really. Thank you.

Now I need to get the water I just spewed out of my nose off the computer screen. Thanks, I got it.

carrie said...

Soon the trend will shift my dear, soon.

And those are some mighty pretty sandals!

Carrie

Mrs. Chicky said...

Shoes, yes, too much bling. I can't wait until summer when I can go practically barefoot. The only shiny thing on my feet should be my purty pedicure.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Oh, and I'm not touching the "cock" thing with a ten foot pole.

Ha!

slouching mom said...

Oh, my. Commenter #40-something. You'll never read this. You're famous!

I am not bling-ity.
[Unless I am making a fanetti.]


Oh, the Funny.

Adorable shoes on an adorable girl. I want one of those. Not yours, mind you, but...sigh. I WANT TO DRESS MY VERY OWN LITTLE GIRL IN ADORABLE SANDALS!

There. That's better. Thank you.

Jennifer said...

So, should I teach my daughter who's abrewin' that shoes are her eventual best friend or cock?

As always, hilarious post! And cute picture, shoes and daughter.

Nancy said...

Love the sandals but the bib is fabulous! We went to through the phase of having to enunciate words like Tee-ruck , or in Rosters case Ka-lock ... OTJ ... it is always fun!

PunditMom said...

Ah, she and PunditGirl could have a nice conversation ... last week she announced, "Mom, why don't I have a wee-nis? I want a wee-nis!" :O Calling Dr. Freud!

PunditMom said...

And cute sandals, too, BTW.

The Medium Swede said...

like mother like daughter...

Mrs. Chicken said...

Oh my goodness she is cute. Those eyes!

And those shoes! :)

And what a dirty mouth! :)

Mamma said...

Mmmmmm. shoes.

Dirty Birdie said...

I want cock too...

Kristi said...

I haven't bought new shoes in like, two years or something. Just thought you should know that.

Lawyer Mama said...

Ah, I love shoes. One of my regrets is not having a girl with which to share my obsession, but the boys are working with me. Big H already has 3 pairs of tennies & 2 pairs of sandals for the summer. I can live with that.

Garanimals for adults would be BRILLIANT! If I have to match patterns, there had better be an example on a mannequin somewhere or I'm screwed.

We should get our kids together. Between your daughters need for "cock" and my son's for "balls" we may have something!

Paige said...

I do love the "Drama" bib.

I think I need to get young Avery -- who can't leave the house without a hat and all manner of accessories -- one of those.

Daughters. My word.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I can't wait for summer to see my children's feet again. And their chubby legs, which are now more on the lanky side.

You would LOVE my dragon shoes. I will post a picture of them sometime soon.

karrie said...

James is the shoe shopper in our house. I do like shoes, but the man is such a consumer whore that it is rare for me to have bought more of anything than he has.

Oh, and abt the "cocks".Max also says "cock" for sock. Lots of fun when your kid runs around a playground screaming his head off because his cock is wet. :)

Mom on Coffee said...

I have the toughest time finding shoes for these skis. Size 11 feet don't match well with a love of shoes and well, I LURVE shoes. And handbags... Luckily, those are a one size fits all.

Lotta said...

I would so buy adult grr-animals!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I have a similar love of shoes....yet I am unfufilled, because I have not found any lovelies for a long time! It would seem that I have been blessed with a large foot....by large I mean size 10. You try finding something that will both look cute and disguise the giant set of skis I have at the bottom of my legs! Ideas?

As for Rooster Girl....you might want to work on those consonant blends before she is the most popular girl in preschool! ( For all the wrong reasons) hee-hee

Southern Fried Mom said...

Here's the thing...if you train your kids to know what to say & when, it's a win-win situation. My six year old son is very observant about how new clothes, shoes, handbags, hair colors, etc. make Mama very happy. I have often asked him to choose between two similar garmets and then (unlike what I do with his Dad) take his advice!!! He reminded me that he wants me to wear something woo-woo for his egg hunt at school on Thursday!

Kristin said...

I might move to your neighborhood just to hear the Rooster crow, "Cock!"

Tabba said...

That Rooster Girl....does she kiss her mother with that mouth;)?

Gawd, she's a cutie.

Em said...

Like mother, like daughter? Hmm...guess I don't know you well enough to assume that. On the other hand...we only have your word for the fact that a clock was someone part of this tale. LOL

Lisa said...

Someday she might actually be saying, "I want cock." Course let's hope its when she's at least 30 and married. heehee.

CUTE shoes. And I know what you mean. Not a blingy person either. In fact the bunko chicks tell me I wear too much black. And they give me alot of crap over how I never wear patterns.

jen said...

shoes fill the holes other things can't...it's just the way it is.

i bought sandals for M yesterday when originally started out looking for shoes for me.

oh, the irony.

jakelliesmom said...

Well, I will admit to having searched the Stride Rite web site to see if some of their options are available in adult sizes. It's not just that I want my little girl to have them, I want them for myself.

My darling toddler, however, changes the Barney song to "I love shoes, I love shoes."

That's my girl.

My boy just wants to play with his cock-u-lator. We're working on that one. (And who gives a four year old a calculator as a party favor anyway?!)

urban-urchin said...

Yes my guy says COCK! when he points to a mole on his hand (he sees me looking at my watch) and now the little darling has started say "F**K! in the proper context (like when he drops a car or a truck) I try very very hard not to swear in front of my children but driving in and around NYC will at times drive the best of us crazy.

Her shoes are great.

I am in a minority here but I luv the new gold and silver sandals, and ballet flats and bought a pair the other day. I also luv the new sandals from Studio 9 (Nine West's chi-chi line) this season. Don't get me started

Chrissy said...

I love to buy shoes because it is the only thing on my body that has stayed the same size!

carmachu said...

Ah, teaching the girl young about what a women's best friend. All you need to do is teach her about chocolate and your all set....

DysdHousewife said...

Okay, tell me if I am wrong here, but your GRAMMA did NOT just say the F word. Did She??! Cuz if so, I think you may have the coolest family EVER. And you STILL scare me...SIXTY-NINE comments. Hmmm.. that sortof goes along with the theme of your post doesn't it.. LOL

Manic Mom said...

OK, you used COCK and MOUNT in a blog post about your daughter. Not good! Hilarious! But not good!

Emily Snipes said...

Before having a kid I loved to shop and found all kinds of things. But now my interest in shopping revolves around finding cute things for him...it's more rewarding than finding anything for me.

flutter said...

Yeah, you think the cock thing is cute, but just wait until she's saying it at 16 and you have to glue her mouth shut while simultaneously wrestling her down to padlock the chastity belt.

Terri said...

75 comments!

Girl...how do you do it! I don't even get 30 people a day.. on my blog or Matthew's blog.....
I'm jealous.. I think I need to be more funny!

I am not a big shoe person...
in fact I'm not a shopping girl at all...
I thought I'd start buying stuff on~line ... but nope...

I've had a $400 Victoria'secret card since Christmas... still in my dresser drawer...

Gingers Mom said...

Snazzy sandals, Rooster Girl! I don't like the shoes that are out either. I want something cute and comfy and won't snap my ankles when I chase my children, sreaming.

Momish said...

Oh, that face!! The shoes are cute too.

Pgoodness said...

I'm trying to teach my boys that shoes are good. It's probably wrong that they each have 3 pair of sandals and it's not really warm enough to wear them yet, eh? For non-blingy, I go for comfort old-school - Teva. Can't beat em.

As far as the clock thing...my 18mo old calls it a coo-coo cock! :-)

BlondeMom said...

Thank you for reminding me not to teach Amelia to say clock. ;)

Those are glorious shoes!

If only there were adult Granimals...it's a concept!

I will myself to buy a couple of "fun, trendy" tops a year to go with my collection of solid black and khaki pants and skirts.

Oh, the black and khaki.

wordgirl said...

Shoes. Me likey.

BamaGirl said...

How do you like your Stokee Trip Trap high chair? I'm thinking of getting one. Sorry about the random off-topic comment!

mark said...

Wow, that's too funny. Can't wait to hear how that goes over in public.

Diesel said...

I've learned to answer questions such as "this pair or that pair" with a very decisive, yet completely arbitrary answer.

hautemama said...

Can she BE any cuter???? If you have a warped sense of humour...go to youtube and type in shoes. My daughters found this twisted video clip. Made me laugh it's so ridiculous!

COCKadoodledoo!!!

Christine said...

Your daughter is absolutely adorable. I can't wait until my daughter can say she loves 'em.
Very funny story, very cute pic.

I'm with you on the types of sandals I like, black, white, tan No bling. They just need to be cute.

tinakala said...

Well, Rooster Girl is definately on the right track.

ewe are here said...

My husband doesn't get my need for shoes... he wonders how many black pairs of sandals a girl can need quite frequently. Or Ecco boots. Or sports sandals. Thhhppptt!

And I grew up in Granimals when I was young!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

OMG, I *hate* shoe shopping. Hate it. However, I am tempted to write that I love cocks just like Rooster, just for grins, but I am fairly indifferent to them as well.

Mad Hatter said...

I tried to find shoes for Miss M yesterday and they all have Dora, Disney Princesses, or Barbie on them. Blech. I also caught of glimpse of this summer's fashions for women: "the tunic" is what it said on top of the rack. The things looked instead like Moo-moos. Oh for the days of pencil skirts and little black dresses. As for shoes, I'd trade my ortho-ladies any day for just a wee bit of bling. Sister.

julia said...

You should come up here to New England. We have nice, non-blingy shoes up heyah. I just bought two (TWO!!) pairs of shoes at DSW. I love DSW. I love shoooooes. I've passed this shoe love along to my daughter, too, which is as it should be.