Seven hours in the car with two short people under the age of three…
Say it with me now,
“Oh. The. Joys.”Thankfully, I was driving, which left K in charge of toddler entertainment.
We hoped for synchronized toddler car naps.
Our odds were looking good just before we left when The Rooster folder her harms on her lunch plate, lay her head down and went to sleep with her face in her food.
The Mayor’s high pitched shrieking cut her nap short.
Because we are anti-TV vigilantes there is no portable DVD option for us and so K was forced to transform himself into a one man show.
He performed finger puppet shows over the headrest of the passenger seat and staged elaborate plays with stuffed animals that leapt repeatedly from the dashboard into the car seats.
He sniffed baby toes and pretended to pass out, played peek-a-boo for miles and miles and read a lot of books.
The Mayor wanted to hear Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel over and over again.
In the story, Mike Mulligan convinces Selectman Henry B. Swap of Popperville to let him dig the foundation for the new town hall with his antiquated steam shovel named Mary Anne by promising that they’ll do it all in a day or it will be fee of charge.
I think K must have become a little bored by the book after the seventh or eighth reading because the story took a few interesting new twists.
Mike Mulligan had a number of new persuasive arguments to offer Henry B. Swap.
The story, taking on new life, went something like this:
“Why should I let YOU dig the foundation with your outdated steam shovel?” asked Selectman Swap.
“Because my steam shovel Mary Anne can dance a Hootchie Cootchie Dance!” exclaimed Mike Mulligan.
[Kneeling backwards in the passenger seat with his ass facing on coming traffic, K shook his thang for all it was worth while singing “HOO-CHEE COO-CHEE, HOO-CHEE COO-CHEE” at top volume.]
“And that’s not all she can do,” bragged Mike Mulligan.
“Bark like a dog, Mary Anne!”
“Ruff ruff! Ruff ruff!”
I thought I might have to pull over when Mary Anne farted the national anthem.