Thursday, January 11, 2007

Children's Education v. Good Hair

Providing us with reassurance that we are raising him right, The Mayor said,

“Mom and Dad, when I get bigger I can drink coffee.”
Now that’s my boy.

And -- I’m proud to report that sixteen month old Rooster, who is acquiring new words at an exponential rate, has also completely mastered the word coffee.
I can officially boast that “coffee” was among both of my children’s first words and that my priorities around early childhood development are completely in order.


morning paper
The Mayor's early adoption of proper morning protocol.
November 30, 2005


However.

I may need to transfer some of my attention away from meticulously ensuring the proper sequencing of language acquisition for my children and focus on myself.

Because last night the children were NOT LISTENING and K and I were rolling our eyes back in our heads at 6:00 p.m.

The TWO HOURS until bedtime became a yawning cavern of doom.

[Oh, eight o'clock how I love thee...]

As a diversion strategy The Family Baboon Joy invited its-whole-self over to a friend's house.

While there a (single, childless) woman that I don't regularly see stopped by and said,
"Jessica, I see you got yourself a MOM haircut. When did you do THAT?"
[Oh, yes. She said THAT.]

I have mom hair.

Jeebus marscaponing Roberta Flack.

We are just going to have to put the word "espresso" on hold.

Mom Hair

"Mom Hair"

61 comments:

Long Island Dad said...

I use a #3 buzz cut as "Dad Hair" pretty much maintenance free. The Helper only eats coffee ice cream, go figure. Lookin' Good J...

Jeff said...

I'm with LID: all the hair on my noggin (top and facial) are 1/4"... nice and easy.

However, I understand that for women a hairstyle is far more significant. Honestly though, I don't really see what you have as "Mom Hair"... to me, "Mom Hair" is shorter on the sides and back with a little length on top (that is often permed). In fact, one of my best female friends had that exact hairstyle when we were in university (she would have been early 20's).

Just my $.02

The Sour Kraut said...

Ooh, that makes me angry. Your hair is stylish and I envy it.

I know that type. They make comments like, "I'd never drive a mini-van", "The suburbs suck",
"I don't want to be a baby factory" ignoring the fact that you're a really, really great parent and that's the most important thing anyone can ever be.

Deb said...

I didn't know there was a mom hair cut...Guess I am out of the loop!

Plain Jane Mom said...

That's the hottest head of mom hair I've ever seen.

Diana said...

And you didn't punch her in the throat because....?

QueenieBadd said...

Dude, #1-so NOT mom hair.

#2-appropriate responses: "Wow, that was a totally inappropriate thing to say. Really, I feel bad for you, you must be so embarrassed at making such an absolutely rude comment."

"That's not what your boyfriend said about it-but, oh, wait, you don't have one. Oops."

"Sweetie, don't be jealous of my completely full and satisfying life and recent weight loss-and really, don't take that jealousy out on my hair. Because honey, my hair looks good."

Mamma said...

Right on Queeniebadd!!!

If that's a "mom" cut then I'm hosed, because I've been spending my children's inheritance to achieve the same exact look.

I bet that bitches tits are still perky too!

wendy boucher said...

Your mom hair is beautiful. My hair is getting its first professional cut in a year today. I'm cheating on the scissors in my bathroom and paying a pro. I just hope my mom hair turns out as good as yours.

Nikki said...

Mom hair?

I didn't know there was such a thing.

Do you like this chick that said this? You should have told her to bite your ass.

I hope her smog control device reduces her gas milage.

Rachel said...

Bella likes to drink the sugary dregs from our coffee cups when we're not looking. Love that picture.

I think your hair looks great.

Lotta said...

Was that "hot sexy mom hair versus her still trying to land a man hair"? Or "shagalicious mom hair versus her insecure about myself as a woman hair'? Mmmm?

The Medium Swede said...

When next you see this imbecile, retort:
"Oh I see you are still cold, dry and barren."

Mel said...

Oh, HAYULL NAW.
She needs to just back it up, because your hair is CUTE! and pretty.
Although, wait a minute!
You could say, "Oh, wow! Really? You think I look like a mom? That's awesome! Thank you for validating the most important thing I've ever done in my life. Although Kirsten Dunst, Natalie Portman, Cameron Diaz, Keira Knightley and Paris Hilton might be a little bummed that a hairstyle they have all worn within the last six months is considered a 'Mom haircut.'"

Iris said...

Excuse me, but WTF??? What is MOM hair???

As far as I can tell, mom hair is hair that has not been washed or combed in days, has remmnants of mac & cheese and baby puke in it, it has dark roots as long as your latest baby is old.

UGH

NtycnBoricua said...

Mom hair, huh? If that's mom hair, I'd hate to see what she has to say about mine! I'm talking ponytail/bun - every day! Whatever, she's stupid.

http://ntycnboricua.blogspot.com

PunditMom said...

Ah, the code words for "You-got-it-cut-short-because-as-a-mom-you-clearly-had-given-up-already-on-the-wash-and-blowdry-routine."

I hope you had some really snappy comeback! BTW, it looks great!

Woman with kids said...

The Boys love Starbucks... but only get it before going to daddy's house for the weekend. I'm no fool.

And? I love your hair. It's stylish and looks great. Of course, I have my hair in a pony tail right now, so don't listen to me...

Megan said...

I'm with Iris, I am impressed at how CLEAN, healthy and shiney it looks.. Can't wait to get my "Mom" hair cut and colour post-birth.
Aren't blogs wonderful for the old self-esteem factor?!

Dirty Birdie said...

I call bullshit, you have great hair. I love your hair. Don't listen to stupid women, what's wrong with you??

Manic Mom said...

OK, I totally want Mom Hair because you are SO CUTE!

You know that woman is single and childless for a reason, right?

Dumbass. (Her, obviously, not you!)

mamatulip said...

No, no, no. Mom hair is about three days unwashed and has been crudely pulled in a banana clip so the baby doesn't pull on it while you are nursing/changing diapers/playing peek-a-boo.

Your hair is Hot. With a capital H.

Paige said...

Man, that goes in the chapter titled "Oh no she di-int!!" Mom hair? Are you kidding me? Love the cut!

Which reminds me...I gotta haul it to my hairdresser soonest. Mama's looking a little shaggy as of late.

carrie said...

I wish I had your hair - it is sophisticated and groovy all at the same time, all atop a gorgeous momma!!!

Tell her to go fly a kite.

Carrie

hk said...

Just a theory, but I tend to think the little ones get super talking powers from leaning on Everything their older siblings do. At least here, it's been pretty amazing to watch it happen.

As far as saying coffee...my heart would skip and be complete. I'm just saying, it's a beverage worthy of starter word status

Yeah, and the mom hair comment...impossible 1. it's dry and styled 2. dayum, it's not that short Respect!

Christina_the_wench said...

I hope the price of gas goes sky-high in her neighborhood only.

Or we can poison her latte?

Bob said...

you should have told her you had MILF hair.

liking the doo.

Starrlight said...

You should have smiled sweetly and said, "Oh recently, but tell me how long have you had those child bearing hips?"

Seriously, I think I might have had to slash her tires :P

Sayre said...

Your "Mom Hair" looks great! And you DON'T have to wear "Mom Jeans"!

That idiot doesn't know what she's missing (I'll bet HER blog isn't nearly as fun as yours is!).

cinnamon gurl said...

I disagree... that's not what my mom's hair looks like at all.

Dude, you're hot!

People suck sometimes. (And I don't just mean babies.)

Blog Antagonist said...

What a flaming bitch. She's clearly insanely jealous of you. Really. I've decided that when women act so unbelievably hateful to other women, its almost always rooted in jealousy.

You're hair (and all of you) is adorable and she can't. fricken. STAND. it.

Did that help at all?

Mrs. Chicky said...

Screw her. She's jealous because you look so fierce AND you're pulling it off with two kids.

Fierce, I tell you, fierce.

Amy Linder said...

As usual, you are too funny. I like your mom hair. Looks fine to me! From one mom to another. :)

Amy :)

Momish said...

But, us moms these days are ultra hip and so is your haircut. It looks GREAT! And, so do you. You know, you have to expect some back talk when you turn into a butterfly. Some people just don't handle change very well.

karrie said...

My son has an expressive speech delay and while every word counts, I did not tell his speech therapist that he has recently learned to say "Mommy's coffee" or "Mommy's beeeah." :)

Em said...

Coffee is a critical vocabulary word. Without it, they will never be able to start the day with that joy of the caffeine rush!

And can I say...mom never looked that good. Forget that woman. The hair is just fine!

Becky said...

I don't think you have Mom Hair... and what exactly IS Mom Hair? Quick & easy doo-on-the-go? That's what it is to me because I don't want to be fiddling with it for an hour and a half just to "achieve a look". That and my youngest likes to play with my hair when she's sleepy (and sometimes not so sleepy).

If you have Mom Hair, then you're one hot Mama!! ;o)

Stepping Over the Junk said...

just don't wear MOM JEANS whatever you do.

My littlest used to hyperventilate when she saw me with an iced mocha in the summer. She loves the smell of "Cossee" and I am sure will become a coffee drinker when she gets older like me.

julia said...

what the heck constitutes a Mom Haircut? I feel so out of the loop.

BlondeMom said...

Hey I like your "mom" hair. WTF? I hate back handed comments like that.

And the Mayor photo is priceless. Drag that out in about 16 years when he's sneaking beer into (or out) of the house.

Our yawning cavern of doom pre-bed time is slowly creeping toward 9 p.m. and I AM FREAKED.

carmachu said...

It could have been worse. It could have been mom hair AND clothes AND mom makeup....

Attila The Mom said...

How in the world do you keep it so wonderfully shiny? It's beautiful!

crazymumma said...

whoa...thats not Mom Hair. That is 'hot freakin babe who has had babies and don't mess with me 'cause I am so ALL THAT' hair. So thair.

Mrs. T said...

If by "mom hair" she means shiny, stylish, lovely 'do, why yes, yes you do have mom hair.

Domestic Slackstress said...

With such impeccably shaped eyebrows, you could shave your head Sinead style and still look gorgeous. I'm jealous. My single, childless gay male friend told me I have split ends the other day when my 2-year-old was combing my hair, an activity she's practically obsessed with. That would be the two-year-old who told me to leave her room because "you smell like poop, mommy" after I'd just returned from a sweaty run. Work those locks, girl. You are a beaut.

Penny said...

Whatever - it's gorgeous! It's not 'mom' hair, so much - it's sexy, grown-up, dangerous, mature, sexual-peak, practical, ready-for-action hair. It's not hairspray and gel and curlers and product in your knapsack high-school and it's not I'm-gonna-keep-growing-it-and-flipping-it-because-that's-all-I-know-how-to-do early 20s hair.. and it's not I-refuse-to-give-up-my-locks-even-at-the-insistence-of-my-clock dragging down your face cougar-hair...

I think it's perfect and suits you in that magnetic, charming, hot and bothered, I'm a Mommah ~ yes.. how do you think I got that way ~ I have stories to tell, very sweet and VERY confident way.

It's great hair.

If Mom hair is great hair, sign me up, because I'm a Mom and my hair sucks ass.

:)

Love your hair.

Gina said...

Love the do! Not momish at all... more corporate and professional... just goes well with how thin you are these days. I am jealous of your skin too...

Been there on the bedtime anxiety. Our kid was so sour last night, I put him to bed at 7.

Jen3 @ Amazing Trips said...

Seriously, the little guy sitting in his highchair with the newspaper could not be any cuter.

ADORABLE!!!

Personally, I love the mom hair. In fact, I need a new do. Maybe I'll try cutting it myself...

mad muthas said...

i thought mum hair meant porridge instead of mousse. you look fab!
x

Teri said...

Hey, I think your hair looks great!

QT said...

First of all, the Mayor? Sooo freakin' cute! I am glad someone else shares our morning protocol.

Second, screw that chick. What a wench. If that is the worst thing she can come up with, you've got no problems. Your hair looks awesome!

Tabba said...

Does this, by any chance, happen to be the same woman who had issues with your HO HO HO Christmas shirt? Just thought I'd ask the obvious question....

My son, at three, could walk into a Dunkin' Donuts and order coffee for his mommy.."Medium decaf, extwa cweam, two sugahs."
Sad, sad, sad. Funny. But sad.

The bedtime hour is so lovely, isn't it?? It's what gets me through the day.
That and my coffee.
Bwahahahaha

Dan said...

You look wonderful in this photo Joy. I love it. You might consider using it as your profile photo.

Jhianna said...

I'm with all the comments above - so very not Mom hair. Sic The Mayor on her :)

BethGo said...

Your hair is cute. Don't pay attention to her.
I'm impressed that your little one can say "coffee".
My 20-month-old just looks at my cup and says "Hot! Hot!".
Mmmm...coffee.

urban-urchin said...

You don't have Mom hair. Nope. That woman is a cow.
Next time you could mention something about age catching up with all of us eventually, and how happy you are you won't be sitting in your house alone reeking of urine and coty face powder and adding to your collection of cats, and wouldn't it be nice if everyone was sure that they weren't going to end up a alone- an old, smelly, harpy spinster that no one wanted because she was a bitchy bitch?

Just a thought....

Amanda said...

My daughter (21 months) said the cutest thing this week while having a cuddle in bed with me in the morning! "Mommy, I have a question for you, would you like some coffee?" I made a post over at my blog about it. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever and does she ever know her mama!!!
This is my first visit to your blog. Will be back!

Dirty Birdie said...

By Mom Hair, I'm SURE she meant sophisticated and sexy...

liv said...

Okay, so admittedly I'm just getting caught up on the joyful happenings, but I just have to stop and say, "Oh, no she didn't!"

You rock that hair, sister!

Mama Drama Jenny said...

If that's mom hair, I want it. I have teenage hair. Rebellious and thin, never willing to work.

Damselfly said...

Gee, I've been thinking I need to get me a mom haircut to cut down on my blowdrying time....