Friday, December 22, 2006

Read First, Poop When Ready

This morning, The Mayor went to his bookshelf and chose a few books. Then he yelled, "POOPY COMING!!!" and ran to the bathroom, books in hand.

Once properly throned,
he opened a book and began to "read" to himself.

A calm, happiness shrouded him.

The thing is, The Mayor sat there for twenty minutes during the household morning rush hour.

I had to "hold it" while he leisured on the loo.

K was so proud.

Proof that The Mayor, at two and a half, is on his way to being a MAN.


"Get the camera!" K yelled. "We should document this!"

But I just have to ask, why do men go into the bathroom way before they are actually prepared to... move something?

I have never known a woman to say, "I've got to UNBURDEN myself honey, have you seen the sports pages? "

Women head in ready for action.

If they realize that... well ... things are stuck...or whatever... they pack up the equipment and come back later...

...or MAYBE pick at my their cuticles...

...or snoop in my their hosts cabinet of toiletries... (oooooh, Tucks Medicated!!!)

I fetched the camera and documented The Mayors progress to true manhood, but I don't know what is worse...

K suggesting that I photograph The Mayor in action or me posting the incriminating photo to the internet.

Posting it is worse.

I can't do it.

At least not today.

EVERYONE
POOPS
(BUT MEN TAKE LONGER)

mosaic116988

23 comments:

Starrlight said...

Teenaged Mayor would have a cow!

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

In our house. The "Man" hits and runs and 'I' linger for hours on 'end'...Don't know why...Maybe it's my only quiet time. I do my best blogging there too.

Cece said...

That is something I'll never understand. My husband is amazed at how quickly I handle my business and I'm out of there. Seriously, after I'm done I still have things that need to be done so I don't have the leisure to lounge around the bathroom the way he does.

Grim Reality Girl said...

I am really proud of you for resisting the urge to post the picture of the mayor doing his duty. You are a GREAT mom! I am also proud of the mayor for making his bathroom time quality time. I admit to having a book tucked in a nearby cabinet. Heck -- potty time is the only time I get peace, I might linger thankyouverymuch!

DD said...

I'm afraid I have been converted and I use that time to get away from cleaning the kitchen and finally reading July's Real Simple magazine.

Karana said...

LOL! I am SO with you. I'm usually er 'ready for action' while my husband reads... and reads... and reads some more. :)

It's funny how different we are.

Blog Antagonist said...

ROFL. That so funny. My dad is that way. I swear, he can sit on the pot for an hour and we had ONE bathroom growing up! I can remember all three of us girls being lined up outside the bathroom door dancing and Dad taking his sweet time.


Somehow, I managed to snag the only male on the face of the planet for whom this is not true. And so far, it seems my boys are following his example. Diminutive One doesn't even linger to wipe himself. But that's another story, er, blog post.

Megan said...

I think it has something to do with women always having a gagillion things to do and 5 minutes to do them in. I've been known to "hold it" cause I don't have time!

The Medium Swede said...

Congrats to the Mayor and to K. You should be proud, especially at that age. My boys have graduated to not only reading, but playing GameBoy. Heck someone in this house has even brought the lap top in to read "Oh, The Joys." Perhaps that someone has also responded to today's edition of "Oh The Joys" whilst burning a mule. Ok the burning the mule thing was even a little to grotesque for me....

Kristin said...

I envy the you and the Mayor's capabilities... Eva could care less about the potty and at this point I think she will still be pooping her pants at her wedding.

The Sour Kraut said...

Today TMS may have been in there reading "Oh The Joys" but yesterday we were low on reading material. He was forced to bring in the only magazine laying around, "Short Haircuts".

Once in the past, he was forced to bring in Martha Stewart Weddings.

Bob said...

You've been talking to my wife, haven't you?

glad to see the mayor keeping up the old traditions!

Momish said...

It is so true. My husband is forever in the loo, while I zip in and out! I don't get it at all. It is a male thing, probably genetic!

Heather said...

I am afraid to say that you and I can no longer be friends, as I am destined to wipe ass FOREVER!!!! UGH! I have actually given up until after the holidays! Why, oh why did I let my husband talk me into a second child! :)

KC said...

Um, I dig that book, Everyone Poops, and I like what you did with the cover art.

Mignon said...

Is that collage like the old Sesame Street song, "One of these kids is doing his own thing, now it's time to play our game, it's time to play our game..."

I pick the apple. It doesn't poop.

Girl In Her Underwear said...

Ha ha! I'm laughing at Mignon's comment. AND at your post as always. I would seriously like to know the answer about why men have to schedule it into their day as a half hour block of time. If you can't do it, you can't do it! Why continue to sit there???

How do you look in people's cabinets while sitting on the twalette?

hk said...

The two year old pooped once and only once in the potty - she has some concerns it seems with potty training and it not being for her. She did the deed without me knowing and hit the ground running because she was that quick. In and out.

I had to wipe her down of course but still, in and out. It does start early.

carmachu said...

Why? 2 reasons:

We collect our thoughts in peace.

We gets some peace and quiet. Because God knows you ladies WONT come in while we're stinking up the bathroom....

urban-urchin said...

my little guy has taken to hanging out in the bathroom whenever someone's using it (and not) I guess he's starting early.

Mama C said...

I have also wondered why it takes men so long to "work things out." And why they always have to work things out. Why can't things just be ready to come out. And why, if someone else takes longer than 2 minutes in the bathroom, do they come to the door and ask if that someone is okay? Can't someone have a little quiet time too?

Lotta said...

I seem to make an event of it. Perhaps I'm more like a man pooper. I light a candle (for mercy's sake) and pull out a catalog from the shelf (because any reading material that is not 100% disposable doesn't belong in the potty) and hang out till my butt's numb. Thought this has more to do with the fact that I eat way too many carbs and not enough fiber than anything else.

Lotta said...

Ps - If I have nothing to read I will read ALL the instructions on every bottle or cream within my reach.