Sunday, November 12, 2006

Experiments with God: Episcopalian for 17 Minutes

I think we might be banned from ever being Episcopalian now. (Which is o.k. because I find the religion extremely difficult to spell.)

Last week the tectonic plates shifted and we agreed to try going to church.

It took an hour an a half to get everyone clean, dressed nicely, in the car and to the church.

We stayed for exactly seventeen minutes.

In the time it took the procession to reach the front of the church, Rooster Girl found a pen and was drawing on the back of the pews and the hymnals and The Mayor was running loops around the pew itself and yelling, "I want to eat schausages!"

I was not transformed by this experience.

I'm not sure the church we picked was right anyway.


It seemed kind of formal and stiff.

I might need a higher energy church.

Next week I'm going to look for a place with guitars, snakes and speaking in tongues...



...And since The Mayor had sausage, here are some links:

Guaranteed Giggle

Eat, dive and evolve: Flow


16 comments:

jen said...

hilarious. the snake ones are generally better, typically around alter call...the the tongues still, after a million years of it, freak me out.

bubandpie said...

And the free child care! Don't forget about that part.

Sayre said...

Surprise, surprise... I wound up at church this weekend too! And I AM an Episcopalian. It was an interesting experience that I will write about as soon as I can sit down for more than five minutes to write.

My son devoured half a pig himself today (in the form of bacon) at the church breakfast.

And there are ALL kinds of episcopal churches - including the rock band and snakes kind. Sounds like you found one that does "smells and bells" on a regular basis... not my kind either.

Mona said...

Hahaha! I can't believe my parents still brought me to church after I had a phase where I turned the kneeler into my own personal balance beam.

carmachu said...

You need a church with a crying room. Seriously, doesnt matter which flavor of christianity.

My mother's old church had one. Its a room with a doxe chairs, a window and a loud speaker that you can here whats going on, but is sealed off from disturbing others. Heck, a priest would come to the door and give the waffer for the parents who wanted it.

You got religion, so did your kids. But the kids were caged in and didnt disrupt anyone.

Look around for one.....because I remember those days and there was a reason mom didnt go to church until she found this place. Bored children go nuts....

Pendullum said...

HEY...
I was sitting next to you guys... We were the ones with the daughter decided to belt out "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT' when the minister said 'now we are going to sing the hymn that is on everyone's minds now...'

and as for that feather duster on top of your head that kevin charnas gave you well... may I suggest going back and grabbing one of his wigs instead???? it goes sooooo much better with your gold lame dress...

Momish said...

I give you credit for trying. It is more than I have done!

adrienne said...

Yes, kudos for going! It is a real chore until you get in a groove. And even then sometimes your still wondering if screaming at your children on the way to (and in) church cancels out going at all.

Lisa said...

Love that sign...

I don't know the differences between all of the religions but you probably don't want to try Catholicsm either... Very stiff and formal. Plus there's all of the guilt and the masses, at times, are longer than an hour!

Some churches have a daycare so you can drop off the kids and go to service by yourselves... Might want to look into that.

(I think I'd go to church just for the free babysitting. heehee.)

urban-urchin said...

maybe try a non denominational one with contemporary worship. Oh and childcare.

Girl In Her Underwear said...

Ha! I'm SO sorry! I agree with Adri--I cuss and yell more on Sunday mornings than any other day of the week! It's getting better now that I'm getting used to the pressure of getting everyone dressed and pretty by myself. I've completely given up on hubby's cooperation, but I've wondered before if getting ready for church made me more likely to go to hell than otherwise. Ha ha!

My church has wonderful childcare. They even have lessons for babies with music and play. I end up getting 1 1/2 to 2 hours of free childcare while I relax and remember there's more to this life than just what I see inside my four walls the other 6 days a week.

I also agree with Urban Urchin--I LOVED going to non-denominational churches when we lived near Dallas. Great modern praise music mixed with traditional hymns, totally casual, and usually dynamic preaching. Not the old world spin that people have put on religion in some of the more traditional churches--often more of a spiritual approach than a legalistic approach.

Anyway...it should smell better than church of the zoo at least! Hee hee!

blog_antagonist said...

You went to church? With Toddlers? In the morning?

Who cares how long you stayed! You get a medal.

blog_antagonist said...

You went to church? With Toddlers? In the morning?

Who cares how long you stayed! You get a medal.

Fran said...

Try the Unitarian church. It's the "to whom it may concern" church, but their practice is incredibly oriented to social justice. We love it there.

http://www.uua.org/aboutuua/principles.html

Fran.

Alpha Dogma said...

As a collapsed Catholic, I only do church when visiting my mother. Last time I took the boys (2 and 4), who were mildly amused until communion. Then they raised holy hell because they couldn't do 'snack time.'
They just wouldn't believe me when I said the wafers tasted horrible. If I go again, I'll load up on fruit leather and cheese strings.

PT-LawMom said...

LOL - I agree with sayre that you found a "smells and bells" one. Episcopalians rock (not that I'm biased) and you could totally find a more upbeat church. Some of them even do Saturday evening churches so you can get your church on and then leave the kids with a sitter you drag home from church.