Monday, October 09, 2006

Oh, the *&(*%ing Joys

Both children awoke in the 5:00 a.m. hour.

Again.

The joys.

This morning, they held a contest to see which of them could throw the most heinous of temper tantrums.

Rooster, fearless wee girl that she is, went first.

Milk delivered in a sippy cup rather than a baby bottle is unacceptable.

Rooster threw herself against the dishwasher and gave it a rage-filled, 10 minute pummeling in protest.

When she finished, The Mayor commenced to wailing.

A PURPLE sippy cup is entirely inappropriate. A morning sippy cup should be blue.

This is common knowledge among really good parents.

The Mayor's fit landed him a time-out back in his bed where he repeatedly kicked and slapped his own mother with wild abandon.

His own mother!!!

All of this occurred before coffee had a chance to have any impact on me.

Those little [if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at alls] are dressed and at school now.

They have long since bounced back like little elastic bands of energy and are off playing with choo choos and making exotic crafts with paper plates and string.

I am sitting here with my chin in my hand feeling despondent and beaten down.

Again.

Parent: 0 Children: 2

29 comments:

Momish said...

Ugh! I am worn out just reading this. Hope your day gets much much better, especially after the coffee kicks in. I think you are entitled to a temper tantrum of your own. Go for it!

carmachu said...

Ugh *gives joy a hug and a cookie* looks like a really bad morning. Wow thats ugly.

Dont worry, the afternoon will get better.....

Blog Antagonist said...

Boy, I hate mornings like that. Since Diminutive One is, like me, not a morning person, they happen more frequently than I would like.

I hope your day gets better! Do something nice for yourself today.

Sayre said...

Been there, done that - but only with one. A double dose has got to be something really special... Perhaps they've both gotten it out their systems and are ready to have a terrific rest of the week.

I know that some days I have to remind myself why I had a baby at all... and others I wonder why I didn't do it sooner or more often.

Welcome to the rollercoaster.

Peggy said...

Chocolate and coffee were invented for days like this! I've been there -- wow! You brought back memories!!

Wishing you happy mornings!

wordgirl said...

I'm feeling your pain today. Really. Chocolate sounds like genius.

shoopska said...

Phew, what a start to your day. It's tales like this that make me appreciate only having to get myself up in the mornings. I say bugger the coffee & chocolate... got any vodka?

slackermommy said...

Oh I hear ya! My little bits has been getting up at 5:30 which means 4:30 when we put our clocks back. It's killing me.

Sarah said...

yucky! at least they are off with their teachers. my 4 year old doesn't have school today. it's columbus day. who cares about columbus anyway?

Sarah said...

that was a good one!

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

It's 5 o'clock somewhere, right? While I certainly wouldn't advocate alcoholism as a parenting style, a wee Irish coffee mid-morning might be just the ticket on these extra crummy days.

I tried that not long ago. Basically, it just put me to sleep but I was in a better mood when the children came home.

NB: Method to be reserved for only these especially fraught, toe-nail curling days, when coffee and yes, even chocolate, just won't cut it.

bubandpie said...

This is EXACTLY where I'm at today. (I've got a post about it in the queue, but I want to hold off until after Canadian Thanksgiving is over. Let's just say I'm not in the holiday spirit today.)

mad muthas said...

oh dear - and after the fireworks too. well, you know what they say, 'up the a ricket, down like the stick'!

mad muthas said...

whoops - was that freudian? just been helping daughter with homework on victorian orphans! for 'rciket' read 'rocket' throughout ...

mad muthas said...

bum! for 'rciket' read 'ricket' for which read 'rocket'.

jen said...

it is absolutely never too early for a cocktail...(i had a day like this a few weeks ago...whoa)

hang in there, you.

Lostcheerio said...

And what never ceases to amaze me, speaking of his very own mother, is how my kids will do to their mother things I would have sawed off my own head before I would do to mine.

Okay, I didn't word that in the most articulate fashion, but, you get the idea! :D I feel your pain. Eventually, they will grow up and become slightly more reasonable.

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Sigh. Tomorrow they'll be super cute and you'll have forgotten all about this morning. I feel for ya. Mine is sick right now and woke up twice and then got up for the day at 6:30... I feel like I don't know if this is yesterday or today or a weird in between day.

Lisa

lynsalyns said...

I'm sorry but this made me laugh! At least you have a sense of humor. :)

Melissa said...

This makes ME tired.

Oh honey, hang in there. Someday they're going to go to school and by god, the quiet that follows is so worth it.

blessedmomx3 said...

We are going through the SAME thing over here! I'm currently too scared to even try to give my youngest a sippy cup instead of bottle just because I want to keep the peace. He can go to college with that thing hanging out of his mouth for all I care!

My twins are in destructo mode where everything they see looks like something that should be ripped to shreds while laughing maniacally. While I'm in their bedroom sopping up milk they spewed from sippy cups, they're in the kitchen dumping salt shakers everywhere. I'm totally losing! This has been going on for days! Is it the full moon or what?

I'm scared to leave my husband alone with them (which I will have to do again tonight). Last night when I ran to Target, they pulled all the fake moss out of a fake plant and threw it everywhere. They broke the foot off a ceramic rabbit. They dumped a box of crackers all over our bedroom floor and then crushed them with their little feet. The list goes on.

I'd bother to ask my husband what in the heck he's doing while they're destroying everything, but I know better. There's too many of them, and not enough of us! They're winning because they can defeat us with non-stop tantrums!!! Somehow we will prevail. Somehow...

Hang tough, chickie.

Anonymous said...

Just wait until they fight over identical firehats (ha ha) Love from your Mom.

Plain Jane Mom said...

Ugh, that's a killer. It would be one thing if they stuck to predictable rules, but the random rules are rough!

Jennifer said...

I remember those days! Which would be any day where socks were put on from the ages of 5 to 8.

Waya said...

Were you at our house? I must have been insane for taking three kids to the zoo today. No school and all and the hubbie's away for work again. Had to kill the time some how.

BTW, I love your new picture.

Mel said...

((((((((((((((You))))))))))))))

urban-urchin said...

Oh man. I am sorry. 5am is not human time. Let only time to deal with small children who are being completely unreasonable. Everyone knows purple is a perfectly good alternate to blue for the morning sippy cup.

lildb said...

wow. I think I'm gonna scootch my chair back from the front where I thought I oughtta be in order to voice my frustration. because you deserve to be there instead. this sounds harsh.

very, very harsh.

and I send you hugs. many, many hugs. and a really big cuppa joe. and also some coffee.

Kevin Charnas said...

BEFORE coffee took affect???

woah.

I bow before you, my queen...I'd be on my way to prison with too many dates to count.