Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Day that Went On and On and On...

The Mayor and I left for Seattle today leaving K and Rooster Girl at home.

I was feeling like I had my mommy sh*t going on as I made my way to the gate because I was ARMED with a carry on bag full of toys, coloring books, games, story books, and other miscellaneous crap from the dollar store fun booty.

I was completely prepared to be SUPER ACTIVITY MOM, handily entertaining my child for the whole eternity FOUR HOURS AND THIRTY NINE MINUTES to Seattle.

But lo.

What's this?

We must sit patiently on the plane at the gate for an hour and a half BEFORE even taking off?

The airline powers that be are seriously harshing on my mama mojo!

Clearly, between this and the anniversary vomit, I am paying the price for bragging on the internet that I, you know, got me some recently.

The Mayor was a very, very good kid on the plane, my fellow passengers were very kind and patient and Grandma Seattle met us at the airport.

However.

Mommy is about to die.

I have already spent a full day entertaining the boy like a clapping monkey and there are still THREE HOURS TO GO.

Blasted Pacific standard time!

Anyway, in completely unrelatedness, what's not to love about a Belgian Farting Pig?

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like the part where the chickens fart into their eggs. I envy such a convenient containment system, wishing it could be deployed in my home.

Do you really want me commenting on your blog?

K

Waya said...

OMG! Where have you been all my blogging life? I'm so glad I found you via Catherine Dix!! You made my night.

Have you read the "Walter The Farting Dog" series? It's one of my favs.

Have a nice trip. And I feel your pain on the plane.

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

I hate when the helpful airlines let people with kids board the plane first. I will run out of tricks by the time all the other passengers get on. Do us last!!!!!!!!! Pleeeeeease.


Lisa

slackermommy said...

Those Belgian's sure know how to entertain little folk.

blessedmomx3 said...

ahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa that was entirely too entertaining for me to watch at 12:22 a.m.

You realize that since it's the last thing on my mind that I'll be dreaming of farting pigs tonight. Thank you very much. My mind will be trying to work out what it just saw. At least one of your readers explained to me that the eggs were full of farts. I didn't understand why the eggs were empty.

But the little girl was very nice to bathe the pig at the end. If a pig had just invited the entire barn into my kitchen and farted up the place, I wouldn't have been so hospitable.

I laughed and laughed at your writing as always! I'm sorry that tappin' that *ss and braggin about it has brought you anniversary vomit and other bad karma. Maybe these next however many days of abstinence will calm the angry gods of gleeful married people sex.
Good luck with that.

I had gleeful married people sex 3 times last Saturday. There. Now I finally had a chance to brag about it and I'll take your bad luck over here for a while. :D

Mommy off the Record said...

Europeans seriously have the best cartoons.

Sayre said...

And the best commercials...

Oh, blessedmom - you are so seriously asking for it! At least Jessica will get a break...

Natsthename said...

LOL. YOu are the only blogger who can consistently make me laugh at the trials and tribulations of being a mom! AND I FEEL your pain!!

Now, about that farting pig...

Christina_the_wench said...

I would have paid to see your monkey impression. hehe

Mel said...

OMG!!! I had no idea you were this close to me! Ack! Why didn't I know this?
Turning north toward Seattle and waving sadly...
;)

Kevin Charnas said...

What the hell??? HA! Well, at least Owen's "Dana" was farting the whole way to Seattle...although, selfishly, I wish it were. :)

Mama C said...

Holy Crap, JOy! That is too funny. I wish I could access it at school to show my students. Seriously. I laughed and disturbed my hubs' studying. Oops!

Glad you made it to Seattle. Isn't flying fun?!

liberalbanana said...

Thank you for that. I am now crying at work from laughing so hard. Fart noises crack me up! (Obviously!) I was like, "Ooh! He's in the tub! I hope he...yup! FARTS IN THE TUB!"

I'm like a 13 year old tub, I swear.

Your description of entertaining Owen sounds like me around children. "Ah, it must almost be time for your mommy to come back! How long has it been since she left? FIVE MINUTES?!? OH GOD THIS IS NEVER GOING TO END!"

Lisa said...

Yeahhhh. Entertaining children on a flight is right up there with trying to tie ones own tubes with a kitchen knife. NOT FUN! So happy you made it to Seattle with at least a TEENY TINY part of your sanity intact.

wendy boucher said...

Blogger beta doesn't love me. THis is a test. I hope you have a lot of fun in Seattle and I hope the return trip is smoothe and easy.

Izzy said...

You're a braver woman than I am. My oldest is six and I've never dared to take her on a plane. Enjoy your trip :)

Pendullum said...

Hahahah...

I remember when I had it 'all together' and then my plane was delayed by 12 hours...
12 friggin hours and we had to be at the airport for 5 am...
They wouldn't tell us if our plane was to be cancelled or not... They did not tell us that the delay was
because of a friggin HURRICANE!!!??? the shops in the terminal ran out of food and water in the first 4 hours... and they would not let us leave... we were just left nawing on rubbery cheese strings and rationing them out to the other starving children...

I feel your pain and I just have a big sigh of relief as I am in the comforts of my own home... glass of wine in hand... a little bit slippy as it is nice and cool...and as I kick my heels up I think how I am going to enjoy your post of survival at the airport...
and serves you right trying to win 'brown noser points' over on Nikki's post...
hahahaha ... but you got tagged by Christine...HAhAHA... and at the airport??? Ooooohhh The Joys of justice!!!
and your MEME!!!HEHEHEHEHE!!!!!

lildb said...

I do NOT envy you. oh, dear god, no.

but I hope you manage to have a decent trip away from home, nonetheless. and for the love of god, girl, book a massage or a pedi or something while you're there. I know of some seriously amazing spas in Seattle. you gotta.

xoxo

carmachu said...

I know the feeling. At least sarah is old enough to slightly entertain herself. I use color wonder(coloring with markers, but no mess!) and leap pad learning tool which she loves.

And a portable DVD player......

Brooke said...

J, dude, you are one brave woman. Donna & Charlotte & I are thinking about taking a trip sometime this holiday season & I am feeling less than confident about my ability to hold it all together.
I am so glad that Gwen told us about this. Our house was broken into last week & our laptops were stolen, so we lost pictures(except what we have on charlotteprice.net,) old emails and videos of Charlotte. I actually teared up when I saw this blog had pictures you had sent me of Ruby & that y'all made a blog of letters from your trip.
You made my day. You rock.
Brooke

blessedmomx3 said...

Hey Jessica! I'll be out of town on Friday, but happy birthday in advance!!!! I hope it's a great one!