Saturday, July 22, 2006

Drinkin' The Corporate Kool-Aid


The corporate geniuses in Minneapolis are taking over the young, impressionable mind of my son.

Yesterday at daycare there was a pink tube of butt creme
lying on the changing table with an innocent PINK and white bulls eye on it. The Mayor pointed and said,

"That's from Target."
I looked at him and blinked in amazement. Why, yes. Yes it is.

Later, he saw a generic bottle of hand soap in the bathroom with a small, unassuming NAVY and white bullseye on it. Again, he identified it's origin.

I began to worry. (Or at least to think about adding worrying to my "to do" list.)

Still later The Mayor asked me where I had put his sippy cup and when I told him that I put it in the shopping bag on the floor of the car, he said, "In the Target bag?"

The Mayor is two.

I don't even mean two and a half or anything. He JUST TURNED two.

He has achieved corporate logo recognition.

How scary is that?

I can hear the Champagne glasses clinking all the way from Minnesota.

I knew that we were praying at the altar of the bulls eye too much when MONTHS ago the security guard looked at Rooster and said, "Aw, she's growing up so fast."
What? Do we know you? Huh?

No. We do not know her.

We just come to the bulls eye palace EVERY weekend.

In fact I dropped $100 there yesterday AND the day be
fore that. Most of the first $100 was the insanely priced BABY FORMULA!!!

Can I just say that I am SO HAPPY to only have six more weeks to buy baby formula?
The price of formula is a serious downside to having your boobs turn into the Sahara desert on your child's six month birthday. But alas, Rooster is no camel and so the great formula wallet wounding began. I could more cheaply keep her stocked up on street drugs.
"Hey man, can I score some of that E*?"
*Street name for Enfamil Lipil.
All street drug jokes aside, (heh) Enfamil must really be gaining a street value -- my local grocery store has to keep it locked up and you have to REQUEST a can because too many people steal it. The implications here are just too deep and serious for a blog focused on butts and poo joys to contemplate.

I must confess that as shocked and mortified as I am ab
out how much of our family income goes there and that my son has digested and wholly embraced that the bulls eye logo in any color variation MEANS Target, I doubt it will shake my status as a devotee.

First, the bulls eye is the U.S. capital of The Good T-Shirts. No
one can argue.

Second, I am convinced that the great people from Minnesota mark all of their clothes with a sizing number that is actually a size SMALLER than the true size of the article so that The Honorable, Lady Flabina can THINK she is thinner than she is and LOVE the whole state of Minnesota for it.

Just yesterday (see additional $100 NOT spent on baby formula
) I bought four skirts SIMPLY because the size on the tag was so ridiculously LOW and so out of touch with the reality of my true size.

Talk about motivation!

CHA-CHING! Here is my money. Let me give it all to you bulls eye people because I BELIEVE!!!

Bless you Oh Glorious Bulls Eye Leaders!

(Ignore the person in the photo below!)


Hypnotized

45 comments:

gingajoy said...

ha! yes, my son has finally gone from "I want to go to the French Fry store" to "Let's go to MCDONALDs!" Although he does refer to Ronald as "Evil Clown..."

thanks for reminding me about price of formula. forgot i had that to look forward to (i like to mix it up in terms of formula and BM. especially when drinking means I've had to pump and dump;-))

Oh, The Joys said...

Evil Clown!! Hahaha!

Sorry Ginga - it's not YOU, it's ME, but it took me a moment to get to breast milk from BM. I was thinking of you mixing it with something ELSE and I was awfully confused there for a second.

Sayre said...

Ah, yes... formula. And diapers. My son stopped nursing when he was 7 months old because I was in an accident and the drugs I had took several weeks to clear the system. In the meantime, he really dug on the instant gratification of the bottle and wasn't interested when it was okay to nurse again. He also had very sensitive skin, so could ONLY wear the most expensive (at the time) disposable diapers on the market. My guts rebelled at shelling out so much money for something to suck up pee and poop, but his screams of agony that went with the incredible diaper rash he got with any other brand cured me of that real fast....

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

As scary as the corperate recognition part of it is, WOW WHAT A SMART kid. Two and can identify a symbol, and not be thrown by color variation.

Lisa

Christina_the_wench said...

I was a bad mother. I got my kids on regular milk from a cow as soon as possible, months before the one year mark to help defray the cost. Now they are healthy, happy and mouthy pre-teens and no worse for the wear. Except that mouthy thing.

Blonde Vigilante said...

The other day I was asked if I was given $10,000 and had to spend it in just one store, where would I spend it? Why, I replied, Target, of course.

I don't buy clothes or anything really anywhere else. The only other place besides Target that I go to is the grocery store. But, you know, a girl's gotta eat.

julia said...

I've been to Target three times this week. I know that the returns lady has a son with type 1 diabetes. I know that the one closest to my house doesn't have much of a junior's department (no, not for me, sadly, for my almost-12 year-old). I know that the one at SkankyMall has an optical department but also has hoochiemama clothes.

So, yeah. Fellow devotee over here.

blessedmomx3 said...

I'm just a bad mom who didn't stick with nursing. When I was pregnant with twins, the pictures in What To Expect... of nursing two babies at once made me want to put a lock on my bra and run. I was more willing to pump than have a baby latched on each side. I guess lucky for me that the fatigue of having twins and no help decided my fate with breast feeding.

But the point of this post is to tell you SAMS Club is the way to go. I go weekly. I have 3 wearing the same size diapers. $29.99 for the biggest box made. Powdered formula is cheaper there, too. We had to buy a special liquid formula for the twins, and it was always much cheaper at Babys R Us than at Target. But I don't blame you if you want to make one stop and enjoy Target. I just decorated our master bedroom with lots of fun stuff from there, and now it's my favorite room!!!

liberalbanana said...

Wow, that's amazing! I bet they really ARE drinking champagne up there in Minnesota in honor of this post...

I am convinced that sizes have been going down in stores all over this country for quite some time now. I know I wasn't much, if any, heavier in high school, but my size has gone down 4 sizes. WTF?

Nikki said...

I feel you on the formula pain. Connor was just pulled off at 1 year. (kept him there via Dr's orders). I had planned on nursing him but couldn't b/c of his medical problems.

I go to BJ's Wholesale - which is like Sam's Club and the deals I get on formula, diapers, wipes and all things baby REALLY helped my wallet.

Little Dude had to have a special kind of formula as well, thankfully BJ's carries it and saved me about A MILLION DOLLARS.

Heather said...

Okay, Mexican Radio is WAY worse than Harry Potter.

And yes, it is totally scary that a toddler has an eye for product placement already. Just groom him straight into a lucrative advertising career!

Kevin Charnas said...

THOSE EVIL MARKETERS!!! wow. 2. wow.
At least Target is a relatively socially conscious corporation, last I heard anyway...

When I go in there, I spend 3 hours and $3000 just in the dollar section. ON a bunch of shit.

Kevin Charnas said...

Nice straight teeth, by the way. :)

Marcie said...

Target must be doing some heavy duty brainwashing(that or I'm in their store every other day) because my 2 and 3 year old love Target and ask to go there by name. They would rather go there than McDonalds. What is up with that?
BTW, love the name Ruby, that's my little girl's name too.

Panda said...

That is one clever kid. You must be very proud.

carmachu said...

*enters smart ass mode*

if you dont want to buy formula, breast feed.....its cheaper.

*exits smartass mode*


Anyway, yeah, I'd be really glad its not Toys R Us that he reconizes. Think how much much worse it could be......

For us its WalMart. I can get food shopping and Auto-repair done all on teh same bill.....

Domestic Chicky said...

My big dood has been drinking their brand of kool-aid too...remembers especially that target=popcorn. Out of curiosity, I showed him the bullseye at the top of your post, and I got "Ooh! Target! Go for a ride?" Hehehe...

Kristin said...

Quite frankly I am totally impressed with your kid... I am pretty much thinking that I want Target to run the world.

Lily said...

Just wanted to share in the Target love.

I can't share in the lament of formula costs (my kiddo is 8) but OH, the diapers. and pull-ups. and SWIM diapers. cha-ching-da-ching-ching!

Lily said...

uhm... that came out very VERY wrong.

** Please note that my 8-year-old child is NOT in diapers or pull-ups. **

His mother is just apparently just challenged when trying to string two thoughts together. I started to say that he never drank formula but didn't want that to sound like I was all judgy or anything about formula.

So instead I decided to infer that he's still in diapers... ehem.

PS - I sometimes cannot read the little Word Verification either, and wonder if I really DO need to click the wheelchair icon.

carmachu said...

hey just wait till the Disney world recognition kicks in. If you think Target is a money sink....

blessedmomx3 said...

Carmachu--only someone with testicles could oversimplify the formula vs. breastfeeding issue as well as you did. I tried to come up with an analogy equivalent to a person spending half the day sucking on some part of the male anatomy to try to link it to breastfeeding, but couldn't come up with anything that didn't sound perverse or exciting for the male.

So I failed miserably there in making any kind of a point. If your blog weren't so endearing and precious (he talks about church, his daughter, and his flowers), I would have tried harder. Your blog cuteness factor is just too high right now. I expected it to say something like, "I Am God." I really saw a man's blog that said that the other day!

Anonymous said...

I am sad...
Ido not get to see the photo below...WHAAAAHHHH>>>>
I missed out...

No target in my parts thank God...
My wee street has no chains anywhere near us... and since we do not own a car... we are blissfully 'unaware' of the chains...
I can wipe the snug smile off my face it does somehow permiate into our house nonetheless and we are stuck with advertising that has my daughter hankering for the joys of various stores as if they were Disneyland...

Pendullum said...

Hey There...
I posted the last entry but something was screwy in blogland as it only let me post it an annonymous...
But luckily I was able to go back and see your great pic..
So I am not left in the dark with the shot...
Great pic and glad that I got to see it!

carmachu said...

Blessedmomx3:


If you pay more attention around here and others, you'll notice I'm not REALLY serious about it. I'm just poking joy(keep your mind out of the gutter folks) with a pointy stick....its what I do.

As for your anology of sucking and men's anatomy(ok folks back to the gutter) men seem to enjoy that.....*snicker*

Seriously: some kids take to it like fish to water, other kids dont. Some women lactate quite nicely, others cant. Some women love breast feeding, others think of it as a damned chore.....


Yes, my daughter's cuteness is my secret weapon. It melts even the most cynical bastardly hearts. Bottled cuteness as some call her...

carmachu said...

Oh and just so you dont feel SO disappointed there blessed:

Of course I'm God. Sheesh, I just dont advertise it too much. Its such a pain with folks pestering you for answers to questions(especially the real stupid ones), asking for miracles, or other special requests.....Do you know how many times a day I get the "please dont let X die?"......Come on, I'm a busy entity. I have things to do.

blessedmomx3 said...

Thanks for the giggles carmachu/GOD. You speak about lactating with such knowledge and insight. It's almost as if you've done it yourself.

Between your knowledge on lactation and my knowledge on the varying degrees of hair on men's chests and shoulders, we know a whole lot about the opposite sex. We could probably write a book to educate the world. And since you're God, it should help my credibility regarding...everything

carmachu said...

Only if I accept you as an acolyte. I dont know, have anything useful or entertaining quirks?

kim said...

Now that is marketing! I think that scares me? My son is two too... and Im going to have to run some tests here of my own ....

Painter Beach Girl said...

my kids yell "TARGET!" whenever we pass on off the highway (there could be 3 in one day depending on where we are going). In the mall there are these lights that make up patters on the ceiling, like neon signs, and one of them happens to be a circle with a circle around it, not really looking like the Target symbol but my littlest one always looks up and yells "Look! Target's on the ceiling!"

blessedmomx3 said...

Carmachu! You're not God! I was already an acolyte in '83-'85! You would know that if you were really God AND that I have many useful and entertaining quirks.

I think everyone else is ignoring us. Are we not funny?

carmachu said...

Come on blessed, dont you know the first rule from Ghostbusters?

If anyone askes if you are a god, you say YES.

SHEESH, slow crowd.......

You say you have many quirks, and they are?

Irish Church Lady :) said...

I think som'ins goin' on between Carmachu and Blessed3x. Don't you? Carry on.

Ah pardon me but you guys don't know anything about the cost of kids. You think you're going to save money when you're done with formula (boobs are better) and diapers. When they grow up you have to pay for all their activities, and gas to get to said activities, and clothes that they will wear more than once and school supplies and field trips and band trips and birthday parties at kool places with loot bags and birthday gifts for other kids birthdays and more birthday gifts if you're kid gets invited to one frickin' party a week and new runners when they lose their brand new pair and say they have no idea what happened to them and hamster food.

Great blog, Joy. Yer kid is smart BTW. He'll probably cost you even more.

blessedmomx3 said...

Irish Church Lady! I feel like I'm back in elementary school again and getting teased for talking to a boy!

Carmachu made a Ghostbuster reference. Clearly he has no other friends. That's why he talks to me.

It just so happens that the nice blogger lady is the only female who has responded to me on this site. Where is she? We wouldn't be lurking in the comments section talking amongst ourselves if she would post something new. I love this blog! Anyway, it's her fault. :)

Sorry Carmachu. I can't tell you about my quirks. The church lady might say something or at least think it. She might even get her note read aloud in class. I can't risk it.

blessedmomx3 said...

And despite what the church lady thinks, my "quirks" weren't going to be my measurements or anything else kinky. Shame on the church lady!

carmachu said...

Actually irish, I slightly disagree about the not saving money. Yes gas and activities cost money, but like say, sarah's gymnastics class, its a one time payment and your dont till the next semester. Where as diapers and formula and such are very much weekly(or twice a week, depending expenses).

Sarah's dance classes are $147 for 12 weeks, which breaks down to roughly, not counting the 10 miles away drive, to $12 a week. CHEAPER than diapers and formula for a week.....

carmachu said...

Dont worry about it blessed, Irish church lady is just jealous of the attention your getting, and the lack of it she's not getting.....

And I do too have friends. They may be imaginary, but I have them.

Thats ok, you dont have to tell me your quirks. I'll get them at our weekly god meeting. I think someone posted them on the bulletin board from our last meeting. We needed a good laugh....

blessedmomx3 said...

You're so understanding Carmachu. Especially after I threw you under the bus to save myself. Now I understand why your imaginary friends like you.

carmachu said...

I'm use to folks throwing me to the wind and saving themselves. Usually since I'm the one cause the trouble in the first place.

Mel said...

Re: logo recognition... the Mack really had no choice in the thing, since she was the second kid and got 'tutored' in all things by her older sister.
Really Rosie, on the other hand, was probably somewhere around 2 when she started asking to go to "Bickdonalds" and get "fie-fries." Whereupon I fell on my sword, knowing I had failed my child in the arena of consumerism.
;)

Teacher lady said...

Love the writing style. The story? Both scary, sad and yet a compelling tale of corporate advertising success, no? Someday soon, we'll all only shop at Target and who knows? Maybe we'll be required to move to Minnesota, too. Until then, I'll be at the Tar-je, enjoying my Archer Farms chips and my Massimo! bracelet.

lildb said...

a) you're hilarious.

b) formula is *prohibitively* expensive. I expect to find chunks of gold when I'm using that wee scoop to get the powder out, it's so darned costly.

c) damn that delicious targetto crack.

Natsthename said...

Once my kiddo started thinking everything with an "M" on it was from McDOnald's, I knew he'd been brainwashed!

Love the post!

TKls2myhrt said...

Hello from Minnesota! I absolutely love your writing style!

Here's some perspective from a 45 year old mom from Minneapolis. I remember when Target first opened. The whole target logo was so lame! It was a discount store that sold things that no teenager would ever wear, including me! If my friends and I ever HAD to enter that store, we would use the term "Tar-zhey" to mask the name of the store we wouldn't be caught dead in. Target was known for having the worst of everything...cheap, ugly, poorly made. That was in the mid 70's.

I don't know when exactly Target became "cool" or seen as some evil corporate conglomerate, but it wasn't until my late thirties (late 90's). I'll never forget the day I heard that Target was buying my beloved Dayton's. That statement certainly turned by world upside down.

As a resident of Minneapolis (but not an employee of Target) I can tell you that many people I know in daily life are somehow employed by Target, from accountants to designers to cashiers to buyers. My daughter has plans to apply at a Target opening near our house.

How in the world Target went from the worst store in the world to a corporate giant is beyond my understand. I have to give them credit for doing so. To read your account of it is mind-boggling, like I am reading it from another point in time.

Oh, and here's one more tidbit for you: Target has the seven country metropolitan area locked up so that there is no Walmart within about 20 miles of either Minneapolis or St. Paul. I always wondered how they accomplised that. I have to drive 10 miles to the nearest Walmart (another evil giant, I know).

Keep up the great blog! I've added you to my blogroll!

Oh, The Joys said...

I go OFF about it here.