Friday, June 16, 2006

Everyone has a Hole in their Butt

Last night I was reading Alona Frankel's "Once Upon a Potty" to The Mayor.


He is obsessed with it lately and the minute we finish it
The Mayor says, "The. End. Again?"

We were reading this page -

- where the book shows all of Joshua's parts - "his head for thinking, his eyes for seeing" and so on right down to the "little hole in his butt for making poo poo."

As we reviewed each of Joshua's body parts, I asked
The Mayor to point to his own corresponding parts. He pointed to his head, eyes, ears, mouth, hands and legs -- and even patted the front of his diaper to show his "pee pee for making wee wee." But when we got to the "little hole for making poo poo" The Mayor paused and looked at me and said,

"Mommy, I DON'T have a hole in my butt."

I assured him that, in fact, he DID have a hole in his butt.

"No, Mommy. I don't, NO!"

I decided to reassure him that we ALL have little holes in our butts. I started listing people he knows and telling him that each one has a hole in his or her butt... "Daddy has a hole in his butt, Mommy has a hole in her butt, Grandma has a hole in her but..."

The Mayor thought it over. He looked at me quizzically. "Asheleigh has a hole in her butt?" he asked. (Asheleigh is a young woman that works at his daycare.) I assured him that yes, she does have one.

The Mayor thought it over some more. Finally he turned to me and said, "I wanna SEE it."

Proof. The kid needed PROOF that he has a little hole in his butt. (Why take MY word for it on something as critical as that?)

So, this morning we held a "Me and the Hole In My Butt"
Radical Consciousness Raising session. While The Mayor was on the changing table we got out K's shaving mirror, winched up The Mayor's legs and strategically positioned the mirror for full hole appreciation. The Mayor studied it.

When we arrived at daycare about a half an hour later,
The Mayor flung open the door and yelled to his teachers, "I HAVE A HOLE IN MY BUTT!"

Yup. Don't we all. Love your hole.

19 comments:

floosen said...

Oh. My. Sweet. Jesus.

floosen said...

I should have sent the link to this entry with that, sorry...

http://www.dooce.com/archives/nubbin/06_15_2006.html

Super Pooooooper....

Sayre said...

There was a loud hoot coming out of my office and people were coming to see - me with tears running down my face from laughter.

You gotta love our little children - they DO say the darndest things!

Heather said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

melissa said...

Oh my god. I'm so glad we missed this one.

On the other hand, what a smarty pants!

Kevin Charnas said...

JESSICA!!!! I.AM.HAVING.MY.MORNING.COFFEE!!! WOMAN!!! You crack me up EVERYTIME!!!
that is so damn funny...damn it.

Mama Duck said...

ROTFL!! Oh, that sounds like something my little guy will be saying soon.

Mom101 said...

Oh this is hilarious! You should have just pointed to this post to lift my spirits today. Betty Dodson would be right proud of you.

Panda said...

Tea. All.Over.My.Keyboard.

Oh, the joys indeed!

Mel said...

Gotta love it! I m glad to say I didn't see this while at work or while drinking something; I totally would have been a howling, spitting freeeek.
LMAO!

Eli's Mom said...

The joys of pottytraining! Great blog...

Tachizuno said...

haha... awesome!

Aunt Murry said...

I absolutely love this. I laughed until I cried. You never know what they are going to say do you?

Grim Reality Girl said...

You stories are PRICELESS!!! Oh how I wish I'd been blogging since the birth of my children! These stories you post bring back so many memories... and laughs!!! Thanks!!

Much More Than A Mom said...

Oh.My.God.

1. I am RUNNING to the store tomorrow to buy that book.

2. He's pretty much the funniest kids that ever lived!

Anne Glamore said...

Heh!

When I told my oldest about sex, the only part I let him tell his younger brothers was that, contrary to popular opinion around our house, women do NOT pee out their but because they lack willies.

Seems we had opposite problems.

Rachel said...

Ha! That's awesome. I love your "consciousness-raising session." I think we need that book.

gingajoy said...

ok. i will give my hole a bit of extra love on this very special day.

Cat, Galloping said...

love it!